Dennis Rodman not going to help Brittney Griner's release from Russian prison

Former NBA basketball player Dennis Rodman had been planning to go to Russia in an effort to free WNBA basketball player Brittney Griner from a Russian prison after being found guilty of drug possession. He told the public last week that he was all set to go there but the U.S. government publicly discouraged his plan. Now he appears to have changed his mind and will not be going to Russia.

Griner has been sentenced to nine years in early August for bringing cannabis oil vape cartridges into Russia in February. On Saturday, Rodman told NBC News that he planned to go there to help Griner.

“I got permission to go to Russia to help that girl,” Rodman said Saturday. “I’m trying to go this week.”

However, government officials the State Department immediately indicated they thought Rodman’s plan was garbage and told the former dribbler and shooter of basketballs that if he had gone, he would not be acting in any official capacity for the United States.

“He would not be traveling on behalf of the U.S. government,” Ned Price, the first openly gay, married to a dude State Department spokesman, told ABC News.

“We believe that anything other than negotiating further through the established channel is likely to complicate and hinder those release efforts,” Price added.

Rodman, in the midst of scrutiny over his comments, told ABC News on Monday that he now has no plans to travel to Russia, the network reported.

The State Department also issued a travel advisory to discourage all Americans from visiting Russia.

“Do not travel to Russia due to the unprovoked and unjustified invasion of Ukraine by Russian military forces, the potential for harassment against U.S. citizens by Russian government security officials, the singling out of U.S. citizens in Russia by Russian government security officials including for detention, the arbitrary enforcement of local law, limited flights into and out of Russia, the Embassy’s limited ability to assist U.S. citizens in Russia, COVID-19-related restrictions, and terrorism.

“U.S. citizens residing or traveling in Russia should depart Russia immediately. Exercise increased caution due to wrongful detention,” the advisory outlined.

However, even though the advisory is in place, Rodman does not need special permission from the U.S. to go to Russia. He just would have needed a visa from Moscow. 

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Rodman has a history of informal diplomacy with international leaders who have a strained relationship with the United States. Over the past 10 years, the former NBA star has had a relationship with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and has visited the country multiple times.

And while he might be strange in so many ways, he would still make a better president than Joe Biden, and unlike Brittney Griner, he never "took a knee" during the national anthem.

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Friend of Kim Jong Un to go to Russia to advocate for WNBA's Brittney Griner's release

Early Rodman

The friend of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, says he has "permission" to go to Russia to advocate for WNBA player Brittney Griner who was sentenced to nine years in a scummy Russian prison for having cannabis in her possession. That friend of Kim's is none other than the beautiful Dennis Rodman.

“I got permission to go to Russia to help that girl,” Rodman told NBC News. “I’m trying to go this week.”

The outlet's report did not specify who Rodman claims gave him “permission” to travel to Russia to lobby for Griner’s release, but it likely wasn't Joe Biden because he needs permission to give permission for something so important.

Rodman claimed that he helped with the release of American Kenneth Bae after speaking with his buddy Kim.

And while no permission is currently needed to travel to Russia, the State Department advises U.S. citizens against going there due to the Ukraine invasion by the Russians and the U.S. Embassy's limited ability to assist Americans should they need help there.

American credit cards and debit cards don't work anymore in Russia.

NBC News tried to reach out to the White House regarding Rodman's plans but they did not respond to media outlets.

If Rodman is successful securing the release of Griner, it isn't known whether she will continue to take a knee during the national anthem, or if she will play basketball in the future.

The State Department has been in negotiations to free Griner, but efforts have seemingly failed so far because no country takes the Biden administration seriously.

Griner was arrested at a Moscow airport on February 17 after cannabis-infused vape cartridges were found in her luggage. She pled guilty to the drug charges.

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Following Griner’s sentence, alleged President Joe Biden released a statement condemning the decision. The statement was prepared for him by a staff member whose language skills have not deteriorated to Biden's level and has a basic understanding  of the situation.

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Kim Jong-Un back to his old ways of executing his staff and family

In an austerity move to save on the high cost of anti-aircraft ammunition, but at the expense of his personal amusement, North Korean dictator for life, Kim Jong-Un has resorted to the dependable good old firing squad to dispose of people who, as he sees it, screw up or refuse to kiss his royal "flush."

The chubby leader of the hermit nation had his nuclear envoy to the United States executed along with several other officials who were involved in negotiations for a nuclear deal with us but didn't get the job done. This comes from a report out of South Korea, the sane nation below them on the map.

"Kim Hyok Chol was executed in March at Mirim Airport in Pyongyang, along with four foreign ministry executives after they were all charged with spying for the United States, the Chosun Ilbo reported, citing an unidentified source with knowledge of the situation," Reuters reported Thursday. The spying part of the claim is Kim Jong-Un's default position to provide the excuse to execute.

The source who spoke with the South Korean newspaper said, "He was accused of spying for the United States for poorly reporting on the negotiations without properly grasping U.S. intentions." This may have been due to a language barrier, but hey, a screw up is a screw up.

The New York Times, a former newspaper, reports that the Chosun Ilbo reported that Hyok Chol was accused of being "won over by the American imperialists to betray the supreme leader." Perhaps they bribed him with food.

The Times said that in recent weeks, South Korean analysts began "to speculate that Mr. Kim may be engineering a reshuffle or a purge of his negotiating team in the wake of the summit meeting, held in February in Hanoi, Vietnam. The meeting was widely seen as a huge embarrassment for Mr. Kim, who is supposedly seen as infallible in his totalitarian state." So rather than lose weight, he lost face and this was not to be tolerated by the friend of Dennis Rodman.

"On Thursday, Rodong Sinmun, the official newspaper of the North’s ruling Workers’ Party, carried a commentary warning against 'anti-party, anti-revolutionary acts' of officials who 'pretend to work for the supreme leader in his presence but secretly harbor other dreams [like a good meal] behind his back," The Times added.

"'Such characters won’t escape the stern judgment from the revolution,' the North Korean newspaper said. North Korean state media has issued such warnings when it needed to engineer a political purge or warn against possible lagging loyalty among the elites, South Korean analysts said."

Reuters added that, according to the South Korean newspaper, "Kim Song Hye, who led preparations as part of Kim Yong Chol’s team, and Sin Hye Yong, a newly elevated interpreter for the Hanoi summit," were sent to prison camps as punishment.

Neither Reuters nor The Times was able to independently verify the reports out of South Korea.


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Kim Jong Un orders execution of army officer who fed the troops

Dennis Rodman may think Kim Jong Un is a good guy, and President Trump may praise his leadership acumen, but it turns out Kim sucks as a leader and double sucks as a human being.

It has been reported that Kim ordered a high ranking military officer to be put to death after he was accused of giving extra food and fuel rations to his troops and their families, according to Reuters.

Lt. Gen. Hyon Ju Song of the Korean People's Army in Pyongyang was executed by a firing squad for "charges of abusing authority and engaging in anti-Party acts."

Evidently, pro-Party acts is to let the people starve along with their families.

Hyon served as a member of the Worker's Party of Korea's Central Committee and battalion commander under the Supreme Guard Command and was considered a rising star in the army.

"While checking the oil supplies for the Sohae Satellite Launching Station during the comprehensive inspections of wartime supplies on April 10, Hyon stated, 'We no longer have to suffer and tighten our belts to make rockets or nuclear weapons.' This was seen as an abuse of authority and a treasonous statement that opposed the Party's military-first policy," a source told Daily NK.

Dennis Rodman still thinks Kim is cool and just misunderstood.

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Guess what: Dennis Rodman was arrested for DUI

Guess what, Dennis Rodman was arrested in Southern California Saturday night on suspicion of driving under the influence, police said.

Lt. Rachel Johnson of the Newport Beach Police Department said Rodman, 56, was stopped for a traffic violation after 11 p.m. Johnson said that he failed a field sobriety test and submitted to a Breathalyzer and blew over .08 the legal limit.

Black Lives Matter protested the arrest saying that Breathalyzer testing is racist.

Johnson said that the basketball cross-dressing legend was cooperative and beautiful in a black sequin dress and red pumps. He was released from jail Saturday morning.

Rodman made international news due to his travels and "bro-ship" with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, a guy with a huge smile and an even bigger anti-aircraft gun.


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Dennis Rodman waxes philosophical on Kim Jong Un

Guess what? Dennis Rodman believes that his buddy, Kim Jong Un, is probably a "madman," but the former NBA star admits "but [I] didn't see that." Rodman thinks Kim, the North Korean dictator for life and a guy who constantly threatens to destroy the United States with nuclear weapons is just . . . misunderstood.

And while Rodman admits that Kim is "probably" a madman, and probably the most dangerous leader in the world, he still doesn't see him in that light.

"When I went over there [to North Korea], the first thing he said to me was, 'Mr. Rodman, we just want to know, can we trust you?' I said, 'Absolutely.' And that's how our conversation started," Rodman told Stephen Colbert on "The Late Show." 

Photo: Reuters

Rodman told Colbert that he doesn't judge people despite many reports about Kim's unethical behavior.

"I don't really judge people, you know, by their color," Rodman said. "I don't judge where they come from. I just judge people where, you know, we're all human beings. You know, throughout the day, we're all human beings."

That's very deep.

Rodman then waxed philosophical: "It's funny, though, that I don't see how people can sit there and say that this person is a 'madman.' He probably is, but I didn't see that. But he probably is."

But he didn't see that . . . but he probably is.


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Rodman ending NoKo visit, vows to return

Pyongyang -- The former NBA star and two-time "Celebrity Apprentice" performer Dennis Rodman is ready to come home after a brief visit to the hermit nation's capital.

As he strutted his stuff to the airport, the flamboyant Rodman promised to return and said this "thoughts and prayers" are with the family of Otto Warmbier, the American student who was imprisoned in North Korea for 17 torturous months. He was released just hours before Rodman touched down there.

U.S. and North Korean officials said Rodman had no role in freeing Warmbier and it was simply a coincidence that he arrived so close to his release. 

In fact, three more American citizens remain in North Korean custody, and although Rodman couldn't help free them, he did get to play basketball with men and women's teams.

The NBA champ also visited the city zoo, met Olympic athletes and presented the country's sports minister with an unsigned copy of "The Art of the Deal" by President Trump. He also gave the sports minister "Where's Waldo" travel edition, both to be passed on to Kim Jong Un, who enjoys finding Waldo and killing his own family with artillery pieces.

Rodman's earlier trips to North Korea generated loads of publicity, especially when he regaled Kim with a rendition of "Happy Birthday" at an exhibition game he arranged with some other former NBA players. During that time there, he suggested that an American missionary was to blame for his own imprisonment in North Korea, for which he later apologized.

U.S. citizens aren't banned from traveling to North Korea, but the U.S. State Department strongly advises against it, and the reason is obvious when you consider what has happened to Otto Warmbier, who is now in a coma with severe brain damage, possibly from torture.




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Guess what: Rodman gave Kim "The Art of the Deal"

Former basketball player Dennis Rodman went to North Korea to see his "best friend" Kim Jong Un. The cross-dressing superstar gave the dictator, whose people are eating lawn shavings, an unsigned copy of President Trump's book "The Art of the Deal."

The book was actually handed to Sports Minister Kim Il Guk who bowed as he took it.

Rodman, you may know (I didn't), was on "Celebrity Apprentice" reality TV show for two seasons, or so says the Associated Press. 

This was the show in which Donald Trump used to fire people and this gave the country the inspiration to elect him President of the United States.

Rodman touched down in North Korea on Tuesday. He said that he's "just trying to open a door," and soon discovered that doors open by turning the round thing by the edge that doesn't have those metal things holding the door onto the frame, then pulling or pushing, if pulling doesn't work.

Rodman spoke to reporters before the flight from Beijing before taking off to Pyongyang.

It isn't clear if Rodman got the book as a gift from Mr. Trump and is 're-gifting' it to Kim, or if he purchased a copy.

The basketball legend arrived just hours after North Korea decided to release brain-injured Otto Warmbier, an American student who they apparently beat and tortured.

But lucky for Rodman that Kim's his best friend.


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Guess what: Rodman's in North Korea again

Guess what--basketball Hall-of-Famer and cross-dresser Dennis Rodman arrived in North Korea Tuesday. This is the first time Rodman has visited the hermit nation since Trump became president, and he said that he's "just trying to open a door" and is on a mission.

The former basketball star spoke to so-called journalists before he boarded his flight from Beijing to Pyongyang and when asked if he spoke to President Trump about the trip he said, "Well, I'm pretty sure he's pretty much happy with the fact that I'm over here trying to accomplish something that we both need."

Mr. Trump had praised Rodman when he first went to North Korea. "Maybe Dennis is a lot better than what we have," Trump told "Fox & Friends" after one of Rodman's trips in March 2013.

More importantly, Dennis Rodman appeared on NBC's "Celebrity Apprentice" the same year.

"Dennis is not a stupid guy," Trump said of Rodman. "He's smart in many ways; he's very street wise."

In other words, Trump was then, and is now, a big fan.

Rodman, during his trip to North Korea in January 2014, sang "Happy Birthday" to Kim Jong Un and referred to the corpulent dictator as his "best friend."

While in North Korea Rodman did what he does best: he played basketball in a pickup game with a squad of former NBA stars. He called the move "basketball diplomacy."

Kim Jong Un is a big NBA fan and loves the Chicago Bulls, especially Rodman's team of the late 1990s. On this trip he brought along Joseph Terwilliger, a professor who accompanied Rodman on previous trips.

The basketball star said  that the Americans currently being held in North Korean prisons is "not my purpose right now."

According to a senior Trump administration official, Rodman was traveling as a "private citizen."

"We are aware of his visit. We wish him well, but we have issued travel warnings to Americans and suggested they not travel to North Korea for their own safety,"U.S. Undersecretary of State Thomas Shannon told reporters after a discussion about North Korean missile threat and other issues.

Hopefully Rodman will have another song in his repertoire and Kim will be wooed enough to let the other prisoners go home. But guess what; it's more important that he convince Kim to put his nuclear toys away.


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N. Korea: missile launches training to attack US base in Japan

Pyongyang launched four ballistic missiles as part of their training for an attack on the U.S. base in Japan.

KCNA, the North Korean news agency, claimed the launches were designed to prepare the country for an enemy strike.

Funny Hair Supreme Leader for Life, Kim Jong-un oversaw the launch and was very cheerful what he witnessed, the propaganda news agency said. The photo above tells the whole story.

Fortunately, nobody yawned or looked away as the missiles flew boldly into the sky reaching an altitude of 160 miles and landing as close as 190 miles off Japan's northwest coast, Tomomi Inada, Japan's defense minister said.

Under the useless U.N. and their empty-fisted resolution, Pyongyang is banned from using ballistic missile technology. But nobody apparently has the cajones to do anything about it.

Washington and Tokyo officials have called for the UN Security Council to meet over the launches over lunches, and it is expected to take place on Wednesday.

President Trump previously vowed that he will not allow North Korea to obtain nuclear weapons that could endanger the U.S., but it is unclear what he plans to do in order to back up his vow.

Still, Dennis Rodman had no comment.


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Kanye loses his (expletive)

Kanye West went bat crap crazy at a song anemic concert in Sacramento just days after telling his audience that he would have voted for Donald Trump but didn't know how. He later cancelled a Sunday performance in the LA area.

West went into a tirade that lasted more than 10 minutes and told the audience that he was on his "Trump (expletive) tonight." He went into an intellectual discourse about Beyonce, Jay Z, Hillary Clinton, Mark Zuckerberg, the radio and MTV.

Fans wanted their money back. The so-called rapper played a couple of songs by the time his medication wore off and he went into his tirade, ending the show after about 30 minutes. Some people paid $250 for a pair of tickets.

Ticketmaster announced that Kanye's show at the Forum in the LA suburb of Inglewood, Calif. was cancelled, but no explanation was given.

Several videos of West's outburst circulated showing West saying he was hurt after learning Beyonce refused to perform at the MTV Video Music Awards unless she won the award over West. 

West also urged Beyonce's husband Jay Z to call him and "talk to me like a man." In the past, Mr. Z spoke to Mr. West in falsetto, upsetting the so-called artist.

West targeted radio stations for playing the same stuff "over and over and over," and never playing his stuff like that. He also addressed Hillary Clinton.

"It's a new world, Hillary Clinton, it's a new world," West revealed. "Feelings matter. Because guess what?" he asked, sounding a bit like Dennis Rodman explaining his relationship with Kim Jung un. "Everybody in middle America felt a way and they showed you how they felt. Feelings matter, bro," he told Hillary, assuming she was identifying as a man on that night.

West said he was putting his life, career and "public well-standing" (seriously, he said 'well-standing') at risk by talking to the fans in the audience "like this." He added that his Saint Pablo tour "is the most relevent (s**t) happening."

"I am here to change things. And things won't change until people admit their own falsehoods. I got the visions, bro. That's what I've been blessed with. My vision. I'm not always going to say things the perfect way, the right way [like he has always done before, bro]. But I'm going to say how I feel."

And we really care about how you feel.

I can see Kanye West running against Trump in 4 years. He's setting it up right now, bro.



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Butterball Kim and his 'Pleasure Squad'

Peeping Kim

In order to prove that he's not simply a butterball with the appeal of a rat flattened by a steamroller, Kim Jong Un has ordered a new 'pleasure squad' of teenage girls to have sex with him and cater to his fantasies.

The underage girls, known as Gippeumjo, or 'pleasure squads' was originally introduced by North Korea's founder, Kim Il-sung. The practice was halted by Kim the Butterball, following the death of his father, Kim Jong-Il, in 2011.

But even with Dennis Rodman as his wing-man, Kim wasn't able to score a date and things were "looking blue," if you get my drift, so he decided to resurrect the practice of sexually abusing young girls whose only choices were to "put out" or "put this blindfold on and stand against that wall."

It is believed that the girls must be tall and beautiful and absolutely not permitted to vomit during coitus. They are hand-selected by Korean officials who, if they mess up, must play a game of "Dodge Mortar" until they die.

Some of the girls may be as young as 13 or 14 and are checked by a doctor to determine if they are virgins. 

They are taken from their schools, removed from their family, and forced to do whatever 'Butterball' tells them.

According to Toshimitsu Shigemura, a professor at Waseda University in Tokyo, Kim stopped the practice of the pleasure squad because he didn't trust the girls. Now they must sign a pledge not to say anything about "Little Dennis," Kim's 'man thingy.'


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Fibbin' Kim? Probably not.

North Korea claims to have successfully tested an engine intended to be used in intercontinental ballistic missiles--those nasty objects that carry nuclear warheads.

This engine would "guarantee" North Korea's ability to launch a nuclear strike on the US mainland and would practically guarantee an apology by Barack Obama to Kim Jong Un for not taking them seriously.

The engine test was conducted on the west coast on their long-range missile launch site and is just one of the recent tests North Korea has performed with impunity.

Of course, the United States did what we always do: we criticized North Korea with very strong words from the State Department:

"We call on North Korea to refrain from actions and rhetoric that further destabilizes the region and focus instead on taking concrete steps toward fulfilling its commitments and international obligations."

After Kim Jong Un finished laughing, he said that "the engine spewed out huge flames with a deafening boom." He added that North Korea will now be able to "keep any cesspool of evils in the earth including the US mainland within our striking range."

Then he laughed some more as North Korea is making concrete steps to finish the job of having a nuclear warhead missile capable of killing Gov. Jerry Brown (D-Calif.)

Dennis Rodman (NBA) is quoted as saying, "Guess what. My man Kim gotta do what he's gotta do and that's to defend his people like we defend ours." Then Mr. Rodman put on a fresh coat of lipstick.

Of course there is the possibility that Kim is lying to us and really doesn't have the equipment he claims to have. If so, I bet Donald Trump will have a nickname for him that Kim isn't going to like. Maybe he'll refer to him as "Fibbin' Kim" or something equally as contemptuous. 

Be prepared, North Korea. The United States of America has the words and the ability to use those words.



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The Justice League of N, Korea

Seoul-- Kim Jong Un may be calling upon his North Korean Justice League to wage an indiscriminate "pre-emptive nuclear strike of justice" on South Korea and the U.S. if we don't stop our military exercises with S. Korea. If this actually happens, President Obama, under the direction of Michelle Obama, will try to "grow a pair" and retaliate . . . or not.

But fear not, my fellow patriots, Kim has a tendency to make empty threats as he realizes that, to do what he says he would do, is a tad suicidal. 

However, the threats usually increase dramatically whenever Washington and Seoul put on their annual defensive war games in the spring--it rattles Kim's cage.

When Kim's dad died in 2011, forcing North Koreans to shed crocodile tears lest they join him, Kim the Pudge took over North Korea, a "Rube Goldberg"  type of  country. He ruled with a fat iron fist to make it clear who was the boss.

Kim liked to threaten larger countries and wield his power by killing family members whose only crime might have been that they belched at the dinner table. 

He also killed a few generals who may have smiled at what they thought was a Kim joke. In fact, just for kicks, he had one of the generals killed by mortar fire just so he could watch him die. 

Kim claims the war games are actually rehearsals for an invasion of his little country, a country that if it were a person, would be suffering from leprosy and the heebie-jeebies.  Listen up, Kim, nobody cares to for North Korea--you can have it all to yourself.

The North is threatening strikes in the South as well as U.S. bases in the Pacific, and even the U.S. mainland, claiming its enemies "are working with bloodshot eyes to infringe upon the dignity, sovereignty and vital rights' of North Korea."

The only one with bloodshot eyes is Dennis Rodman, but they go nicely with his new floral dress.

A statement by the North said, "If we push the buttons to annihilate the enemies even right now, all bases of provocations will be reduced to seas in flames and ashes in a moment." This has led U.S. intelligence sources to believe that Kim may on hallucinogenic drugs.

North Korea's rocket arsenal most likely does not have the capability to reach our west coast, but if a missile detonates close enough to create a great surf, I know a bunch of dudes who are ready with their baggies.


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North Korea's tantrum leads to klush

North Korea threw a temper tantrum Thursday by firing several short-range thingamabobs into the sea off its east coast, South Korean officials said. This tantrum comes just hours after the U.N. Security Council approved the toughest sanctions in 20 years against Pyongyang for continuing its nuclear testing and long-range rocket launch.

Dennis Rodman is quite upset over the entire ordeal and told the media that "Kim's a good guy, and guess what, he's not going to do anything bad with rockets and stuff. He's like a brother to me, or something."

Defense spokesman Moon Sang Gyun said the thingamabobs were fired from Wonsan on the east coast, a small town noted for creative misfortune cookies.

Gyun surmised the thingamabobs could be anything from projectiles to missiles to klushes (a high-level projectile made of exotic metals and goes "KLUSH!" when it hits the water.)

The Yonhap news agency's anonymous South Korean source said that eight or nine thingamabobs or klushes flew about 160 miles before landing in the sea with a big klush. The Defense Ministry could not confirm nor deny the report.


North Korea tends to test-fire projectiles and rockets, but they especially test them when they are angered at world condemnation. This latest test can be seen as a symbolic bird-flipping at the U.N.  Security Council.

The latest U.N. sanctions include mandatory inspections of cargo imports and exports with North Korea, in the air, on land and sea. When President Obama was asked by Dennis Rodman "Yo, why don't we do that sanction s**t with Iran?" Mr. Obama just laughed and walked away.




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Dennis Rodman confirms N. Korea is the bomb

Kim Jong Un, North Korean leader for life, says his team of 2 scientists have developed an H-Bomb, which is designed to kill the Hebrews, he originally said and was later gently corrected by Dennis Rodman.

Experts are skeptical and the experts in North Korea who were, no longer are--that is, they no longer "be."

Kim claims his family "turned the DPRK into a powerful nuclear weapons state ready to detonate a self-reliant A-bomb and H-bomb to reliably defend its sovereignty and the dignity of the nation," the KCNA news agency reported, as per Sky News. The KCNA is the official news agency that will say whatever Kim says it will say; nothing more and nothing less. 

Kim made this claim as he was visiting the Phyongchon Revolutionary Site, a museum in honor of Kim Il Sung, his late grandpa.

"He do"

H-bomb (aka thermonuclear bombs) are much more powerful than A-bombs (aka I think I heard something), but our allies in South Korea's intelligence agency said they have no evidence the North Koreans have the technology to make one.

Jeffrey Lewis of the Middlebury Institute of International Studies in California told Sky News "I think it's unlikely that they have an H-bomb at the moment, but I don't expect them to keep testing basic devices indefinitely either." Exactly what this implies, only Lewis knows.

Dennis Rodman, in response to Lewis said, "Oh yeah? They do so."




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In North Korea, If You Snooze, You Lose

What is the sound of no hand clapping?

North Korea's defense chief, Hyon Yong Chol, must have been tired after a long previous day and he fell asleep during a meeting held by Dennis Rodman's best friend in the whole wide world, Kim Jong Un.

But instead of waking up the sleepyhead, Kim had him put to sleep forever. It didn't help Chol that he answered Kim back for something he said at the meeting.

Anyway, this information was obtained by South Korea's spy agency who reported the execution to the country's lawmakers. How they got this information is not known, but guess what, I find it difficult to believe that a guy who was described by such a great basketball player, who got to know Kim up close and personal, could do such a horrific thing. Oh wait, I forgot--Kim also had his uncle killed for supposedly being a spy so maybe it's true.

The offices of lawmaker Shin Kyoung-min (as opposed to Shin Kyoung-maj) as well as that of Lee Cheol Woo both received similar intelligence from the National Intelligence Service (NIS), so there's a fairly good probability that the information is true.

The NIS didn't reveal to Shin and Lee how they got the information but said that it came from several reliable sources and they believed it to be accurate, Shin said.

North Korea most likely told a fib (using a Dennis Rodman-ish term), claiming that Chol was killed by anti-aircraft fire at a shooting range at Pyongyang's Kang Kon Military Academy (which is not connected to the King Kong Military Movie Academy) in late April.

Hyon Yong Chol, the dead guy, had been named armed forces minister last year and was a vice marshal of the Korean People's Army as of July 2012, but was demoted to a four-star general later that year, possibly due to a bout of severe flatulence at another meeting held by Kim and Dennis.

Last month, spy leaders told lawmakers that Kim executed 15 senior officials accused of challenging his authority. 

Our own State Department spokesman, Jeff Rathke said the U.S. cannot confirm the execution of any North Korean officials, but added that President Obama had just learned of these heinous acts from the media, same as the rest of us folks.

Dennis Rodman was not available for comment.


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Kim and Dennis Off the Hook?

Guess what. It wasn't Kim. It wasn't even Dennis Rodman.

New evidence brought to the FBI by a security company claims that the culprit who hacked Sony over the making of the film The Interview, is a laid-off employee of the company. North Korea's Kim Jong-un is innocent of the cyber attack.

Norse, a cyber intelligence firm told Fox News that they turned over information to the FBI on Tuesday and briefed the FBI during a meeting in St. Louis. No cops were attacked at the meeting.

Kurt Stammberger, senior vice president for market development of Norse said the "they were very open" to the new information his company provided to them.

Many have voiced skepticism about the FBI's claim that it was Kim Jong-un who was responsible for the attack, saying that North Korea doesn't have the cyber capability to launch such a sophisticated assault.

Stammberger said that his company has data about the malware samples that indicated "super, super detailed insider information" that only a Sony insider would have.

But the FBI is saying "that's our story, and we're sticking by it." Of course, this led to massive numbers of First Amendment patriots, as well as a few liberals, flock to the web to see the movie as a way of flipping the bird to Kim and Dennis Rodman.

In a statement issued by the FBI they stated: "The FBI has concluded the Government of North Korea is responsible for the theft and destruction of date on the network of Sony Pictures Entertainment." They then went so far as to assert: "Attribution to North Korea is based on intelligence from the FBI, the U.S. intelligence community, DHS, foreign partners and the private sector."

Yeah, sure. Where is the NSA when you need them?

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Comrade Seagal Calls Putin "Reasonable"

Taking his career cues from Dennis Rodman and Sean Penn, movie tough guy, judo and swimming enthusiast, and overweight has-been, Steven Seagal, is now BFF with Vladimir Putin. Maybe all the rhetoric is a move to rekindle lost interest in a career that has been banished to Siberia, but Seagal believes that Putin's military actions in Crimea were "very reasonable." 

In an interview with Russian language newspaper, Rossiskaya Gazeta, Seagal unabashedly praised Putin, as "one of the greatest living world leaders" and considers him his brother. He might have added: "But if Vladimir wants it to be more than that, well, I'm ready for whatever he's wants."

While Seagal cannot stand Obama and his "idiotic" foreign policy towards Ukraine and Russia, he says that "(Putin's) desire to protect the Russian-speaking people of Crimea, his assets, and the Russian Black Sea military base in Sevastopol . . . is very reasonable." 

Comrade Seagal also says that he would like to take a run at governor of Arizona but in an interview with the same Russian newspaper, he claimed that it is possible that he will apply for Russian citizenship "some time" in the future. I suspect that if he does apply, this would hurt is chances of actually winning the nomination for governor. Of course, if he chose to run as a Democrat, it might work out to his advantage. 

However, at the end of the day, Seagal says that he's a Republican. He also claims to be patriotic but when asked to define the word he was speechless. I say we should kick the can down the road and throw him under the bus. It's idiots like Seagal that give Republicans a bad name, and idiots like Penn and Rodman that give idiots a bad name.

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Kim Jung Un Executes Uncle Jung Without Dennis Rodman`s Input

"Don't buy any green bananas"

Seoul, North Korea: The uncle of Kim Jung Un, fearless leader of North Korea and BFF to dauntless cross-dressing Dennis Rodman, had his beloved uncle, Jung Song Thaek put to death for treason. Uncle Jung (no relation to famous psychologist Carl Jung) was considered to be the 2nd most powerful man in all North Korea. Now the number 3 man will become number two and four will be three, and so on.