Kim Jung Un Executes Uncle Jung Without Dennis Rodman`s Input

"Don't buy any green bananas"

Seoul, North Korea: The uncle of Kim Jung Un, fearless leader of North Korea and BFF to dauntless cross-dressing Dennis Rodman, had his beloved uncle, Jung Song Thaek put to death for treason. Uncle Jung (no relation to famous psychologist Carl Jung) was considered to be the 2nd most powerful man in all North Korea. Now the number 3 man will become number two and four will be three, and so on.



The trial was held via military tribunal and the charges stated that Uncle Jung was bringing undesirable forces together, acting as a boss of a fractional group, and attempting to commit the "hideous crime" of overthrowing the state. The hideous part mostly applies to Kim, not the masses of N. Korea, who live in abject poverty and fear of laughing or not laughing at the wrong time, or not crying loudly enough at certain deaths, particularly those of Kim's family (not including his uncle).

Advisor to Kim

The official state "newspaper" (a state newspaper is one that blindly supports the leader in power, much like the New York Times supports President Obama) showed photos of Jung in handcuffs being held by uniformed uninformed guards as he stood trial. 

The execution came swiftly after the verdict, before Jung's lawyer had the opportunity to file an appeal. Just kidding; he probably didn't even have a lawyer, but if he did, it wouldn't have mattered. 

Dennis Rodman has not been reached yet for comment but I can imagine what he might say: "Guess what. Uncle Jung was a traitor to Kim. Guess what. He never appreciated how cool Kim is and he got what he needed to get."

More details after the game. 


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