Tim Walz gets his tampon in a twist over Biden question

Walz's lip-sucking response

Failed vice presidential candidate and Minnesota Democrat Governor Timmy Walz really stepped in it on Sunday, didn’t he? 

When Comedy News Network’s Jake Tapper had the audacity to suggest that maybe, just maybe, President Joe Biden wasn’t exactly prime re-election material after that train-wreck of a debate, Tampon Tim pulled out the old trusty deflection card faster than you can say "geriatric gaffe." 

"He made that decision!" Walz yelped, as if that erased the months of Democratic delusion and that includes Tapper's as well.

Tapper, not one to let a squirm go unwatched, nasally pressed on. “Don’t you think your party needs to take responsibility for running Biden when he was clearly not up for the job?” 

Walz, in a dazzling display of wit, basically said, “We may have made a ‘mistake,’ but have you considered Trump’s many sins?” Cue the dramatic pivot to a Twitter clip—because nothing screams accountability like changing the subject.

The question was not about Trump, you dolt!

Tapper, barely containing his eye-roll, hit back with, “I know,” before laying out the obvious: “You all went along with the idea that he was up for it. And he wasn’t. And everybody saw it, and the country rejected it.” 

A moment of silence followed—probably Walz realizing his talking points were as stinky as Biden’s bicycle seat in the summer—before he shrugged it off with a gem of a non-answer: “Yea, well, I — look, history will tell us to go back on that. That very well could be the case, Jake.” Translation: “Oops, my bad, but let’s not dwell on it, m‘kay?” 

Then, because why not, he pivoted to Trump’s tariffs like a man desperate to escape his own party’s mess, and Tapper didn't stop him.

Let’s rewind: Biden bailed on the 2024 election after his allies finally admitted what the rest of us saw—age, incompetence, confusion, incontinence, mental fuzziness, anger, and a general vibe of “maybe not” weren’t winning any votes. 

Enter Kamala Hahahaharris, stage left, with Tampon Tim as her trusty Rockette-style sidekick. Spoiler alert: they lost every battleground state and the election to Trump. 

Fast forward to Walz’s recent pity tour, where he’s been whining that the Democrats landed in a “mess” because they weren’t “bold enough” with their woke word salad, immigration free-for-all, and DEI gospel. Brilliant Timmy--keep up that far left lean and let's see what happens in the next presidential race.

When pressed, Walz doubled down, spinning their immigration stance as some noble bipartisan quest—sure, Tim—while admitting they got too “timid” and didn’t “pass things that improved people’s lives.” Gee, you think? All they did was attack Republicans with no clear plan of what they were going to do if they won.

But the real kicker? Walz, with all the self-awareness of "Gays for Palestine" mused, “I don’t know if I’m the best spokesperson to do it after just losing an election.” 

No kidding, champ. He even turned the knife on himself, saying, “I’m criticizing myself. I own this. I’m part of the ticket. And somebody has to come up with a strategy.” 

Somewhere, a political strategist is weeping into their Starbucks "Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot of espresso, two pumps of vanilla syrup, one pump of hazelnut, light ice, oat milk instead of dairy, a drizzle of caramel on top, oh, and make it quick, but also add a dash of cinnamon because I’m feeling spicy today" coffee, wondering how this guy ever got near a ballot.

Keep doing what you're doing dummies.

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