North Korea Updates Constitution To Automatically Nuke Everyone If Anyone So Much As Looks At Kim Jong Un Funny

PYONGYANG—In a bold move to ensure that the glorious eternal paradise of North Korea remains a thriving utopia even after its Dear Leader is turned into radioactive confetti, the hermit kingdom has amended its constitution to legally require a full-scale retaliatory nuclear strike in the event that Kim Jong Un is assassinated by any meddling foreign power.

The aggressive pivot comes as a direct response to the events of February 28th, when a joint U.S. and Israeli military operation resulted in the death of Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei and his inner circle during a targeted strike on his Tehran compound. North Korean officials reportedly watched the footage on state TV, paused it, rewound it, and immediately said, “Yeah, we’re not doing that.”

By codifying this “dead hand” policy, Pyongyang aims to establish an irreversible deterrent against decapitation strikes, signaling that the removal of its leadership would trigger an automatic and catastrophic escalation to “everyone has a very bad day.”

“If the command-and-control system over the state’s nuclear forces is placed in danger by hostile forces’ attacks … a nuclear strike shall be launched automatically and immediately,” read the revised Article 3 of North Korea’s nuclear-policy law.

The constitutional revision was likely ratified during a session of North Korea’s Supreme People’s Assembly that convened in Pyongyang on March 22nd, with the details subsequently briefed to senior South Korean government officials who probably responded with a polite golf clap and several stiff drinks.

According to reporting by the New York Times, this information was only disclosed to the public last week. While Kim Jong Un already maintains absolute authority over the nation’s nuclear arsenal—along with the nation’s haircuts, the nation’s emotions, and the nation’s supply of functioning light bulbs—this specific constitutional amendment codifies a formal protocol for the nuclear forces to follow in the event of his assassination, presumably by turning every missile silo into a giant “Launch If Fat Man Dies” button.

By explicitly outlining these retaliatory measures, the update transforms a matter of personal command into a rigid state directive, ensuring a definitive response even in the absence of the supreme leader. Because nothing says “stable regime” like guaranteeing mutually assured destruction from beyond the grave.

“This may have been policy before, but it has added emphasis now it has been enshrined in the constitution. Iran was the wake-up call. North Korea saw the remarkable efficiency of the U.S.-Israeli decapitation attacks, which immediately eliminated the greater part of the Iranian leadership, and they must now be terrified,” said Andrei Lankov, an international relations professor at Kookmin University in Seoul, South Korea.

In addition to the new nuclear protocols, the constitutional revision includes amendments that formally define North Korea’s sovereign territory and excise long-standing references to “peaceful reunification,” which was always code for “we’ll invade them the second they let their guard down.”

Notably, the update to Article 2 marks the first time the country has incorporated a specific territorial clause into its constitution, explicitly stating that North Korea’s boundaries encompass the land bordering the People’s Republic of Korea and the Russian Federation to the north and the Republic of Korea to the south.

According to analysts, this geographical clarification serves to legally solidify the permanent division of the peninsula and represents Pyongyang’s rejection of a shared national identity with Seoul. Or, in simpler terms: “We hate you guys, please stay on your side of the DMZ, and if you kill our God-King we will glass the planet. Thanks.”

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Israel's Iron Beam Laser Drops While Arms Sales Hit a Whopping $15 Billion Record—And Guess Who's Buying?

An Iron Dome missile costs about $50,000 US, and it has done a remarkable job protecting the Israeli people from Hamas and their ilk firing upon Israeli civilians. And while Israel might be public enemy number one for the usual suspects on the global stage, suddenly everyone is lining up with checkbooks in hand. 

The Jewish state, about the size of New Jersey, has rocketed to become the world's eighth-largest arms exporter, raking in a record $15 billion in sales for 2024 alone. They're sitting pretty behind Britain but blowing past Turkey and South Korea. 

Why the rush? Because Israel's gear isn't some lab experiment, it's been tested in real wars, and nothing says "buy me" like the Iron Dome missile defense system that's saved countless lives by swatting those rockets out of the sky.

Europe's leading the charge, with Germany and Finland as top buyers, but India, Thailand, Greece, and even Muslim-majority nations like Morocco, the UAE, and Bahrain are snapping up missiles, drones, and cyber systems from the Jewish state. 

And now, just as sales are booming, Israel rolls out the game-changing Iron Beam laser system: a high-energy beam that zaps incoming missiles, mortars, and drones up to six miles away for pennies on the dollar, literally $2 per shot at the speed of light [186,282.397 miles per second].

Compare that to traditional interceptors running $100,000 to $1 million each. With a deal like this, no wonder it's turning heads.

"With the laser, the only cost is electricity," says Yuval Steinitz, chairman of Rafael Defense Industries, manufacturer of the Iron Beam. "It is like between $1 and $2, less than the price of a hot dog in New York." Smart Israeli engineering.

"We have already used it against UAVs launched by Hezbollah in the north and missiles from Iran. It works," says University of Tel Aviv professor Isaac Ben-David. "The most important advantage is, once you see the target, it is intercepted at the speed of light. It takes a fraction of a second, and the laser is already destroying it."

After years of other countries fumbling with laser tech, Israel is the first to deploy it successfully in combat. Ben-David, a key figure in its development and former head of R&D at Israel's Ministry of Defense, knows a thing or two about getting it right.

First deployments are heading north to counter Hezbollah's barrage from Lebanon, where rockets can cross the border in under a minute. Soon, it'll protect ships and air bases too. "This is just the beginning of a new era," Steinitz said. "In time, maybe five years, it will enable us to shoot down every hostile object in the air around Israel. It's really a game changer. "Developed with Lockheed Martin and $1.2 billion in U.S. funding, the tech is already flowing back to America's directed energy programs.

"We cannot do without the United States," he said. "But sometimes, in a partnership, even the dwarf can contribute to the giant."

In a world full of threats from Iran-backed proxies, Israel is innovating circles around everyone else, and the sales prove it. 

When push comes to shove, nations vote with their wallets for what actually works, in spite of where it comes from.

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South Korea goes way left

South Korea’s presidential election took a hard left turn on Tuesday, with official vote tallies handing victory to comrade Lee Jae-myung, a left-wing opposition leader. He trounced a conservative candidate tied to the disgraced former president Yoon Suk Yeol, whose disastrous martial law stunt in December cratered his political career.

So it seems that voters went with their emotions, not with their brains.

The election could signal a “kind of a return to normal politics” after six months of chaos, especially as U.S. tariffs loom large, stirring economic uncertainty, according to one expert. But don’t hold your breath, Lee’s victory reeks of trouble. He’s poised to cozy up to China and play footsie with North Korea, a move that’s sure to raise eyebrows in Washington and among freedom-loving South Koreans.

Lee campaigned as a unifier, riding the wave of backlash against Yoon’s martial law debacle. But the Korea JoongAng Daily nailed it: he “will need to navigate a deeply polarized electorate and a shifting geopolitical landscape.” 

Good luck with that when your playbook seems to involve appeasing dictators and alienating allies. South Korea’s in for a rocky ride.

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Rocket Man vows toughest anti-US policy before Trump is sworn in

North Korean dictator for life, Kim Jong Un, has promised the "toughest" anti-U.S. policy that he is implementing just prior to President-elect Donald Trump taking office.

Although Trump met with Kim three times during his first presidency, it's likely he will be more involved with the conflicts in the Middle East and Ukraine, and Kim's support for Russia in the latter war will be a huge challenge for Trump when trying to rekindle diplomatic relationships.

The ruling Worker's Party held a five-day meeting that ended Friday in which Kim referred to the U.S. as “the most reactionary state that regards anti-communism as its invariable state policy.” Kim [aka Rocket Man] said that the U.S.-South Korea-Japan security partnership is expanding into “a nuclear military bloc for aggression."

“This reality clearly shows to which direction we should advance and what we should do and how,” the chubby ruler said, according to the official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA).

The KCNA said Kim's speech “clarified the strategy for the toughest anti-U.S. counteraction to be launched aggressively” by North Korea for its long-term national interests and security.

KCNA didn't go into detail about the anti-U.S. strategy. However, it mentioned that Kim outlined tasks to enhance military capability through advances in defense technology and emphasized the importance of strengthening the mental resilience of North Korean soldiers.

The previous meetings between Trump and Kim not only ended their exchanges of heated words and threats of destruction but also built personal connections. Trump once famously said he and Kim “fell in love.” However, their discussions fell apart in 2019, as they disagreed over U.S.-led sanctions on North Korea.

Since then, North Korea has ramped up its weapons testing to create more dependable nuclear missiles aimed at the U.S. and its allies. In response, the U.S. and South Korea have broadened their joint military exercises, including trilateral drills with Japan, which North Korea sees as rehearsals for an invasion.

Efforts to persuade North Korea to give up its nuclear weapons in exchange for economic and political benefits are further complicated by its growing military ties with Russia.

According to reports from the U.S., Ukraine, and South Korea, North Korea has sent over 10,000 troops and conventional weapons to aid Moscow’s conflict with Ukraine. There's a worry that Russia might provide North Korea with advanced weapons technology in return, helping them to build more potent nuclear missiles.

Ukrainian President-dictator Volodymyr Zelenskyy stated last week that 3,000 North Korean soldiers have been killed or injured in the fighting in Russia's Kursk region. This was the first notable estimate by Ukraine of North Korean losses since their deployment to Russia started in October.

Russia and China, each facing their own conflicts with the U.S., have consistently blocked U.S.-led attempts to impose additional U.N. sanctions on North Korea, despite its ongoing missile tests which violate U.N. Security Council resolutions.

Last month, Kim remarked that his previous negotiations with the United States only reinforced Washington’s “unchangeable” hostility towards his nation, and he described his nuclear expansion as the sole defense against external threats.

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South Korea in chaos: President Yoel calls for martial law, Parliament rescinds and Yoel wants both sides arrested

Earlier today, President Yoon Suk Yoel, imposed martial law over the country claiming it is due to the North Korea communist threat and the elements of it inside the parliament. However, both parties within the S. Korean parliament decided together to lift the martial law--some of the soldiers even began to leave parliament but the military leaders said that martial law must remain in effect until the President lifts it.

Now the latest word is that Yoel has instructed the military to storm its parliament and raid the offices and arrest the opposition leader, both the socialist leader, Lee Jae-myung, and the conservative leader, Han Dong-hoon, of his own party. 

Yeol addressed the nation after midnight when he declared martial law, stating that it would be imposed immediately, but the South Korean National Assembly, aka Democratic Party opposed it. Even his own party, as mentioned, opposed martial law.

Despite the assembly chamber being closed and under military guard, 195 assembly members convened outside the building and voted unanimously to overturn the decree. Only 150 votes from the 300-member assembly were needed to repeal the president's edict.

National Assembly Speaker Woo Won-Shik declared that lawmakers “will protect democracy with the people.” He urged the police and soldiers to vacate the National Assembly grounds, and they complied.

The military leadership aligns with Yoon. A military spokesperson echoed Yoon's claim that the parliament could lead to “social confusion” and should be suspended.

The South Korean Democratic Party has moved beyond mere opposition into outright obstructionism. Yoon's legislative agenda is now stalled, with little chance of revival in the near future. Yoon accused the Democrats of transforming the nation into a “drug haven” and causing disorder. “The National Assembly has become a monster undermining liberal democracy, and the nation is in a precarious state, teetering on the edge of collapse," Yoon stated in his television address.

“We will eliminate the anti-state forces and restore the country to normalcy as quickly as possible," Yoon assured the public.

The leader of Yoon's conservative People Power Party, Han Dong-hoon, labeled the decision to impose martial law as “wrong” and pledged to “stop it with the people.” Opposition leader Lee Jae-myung, who narrowly lost to Yoon in the 2022 presidential election, denounced Yoon's announcement as “illegal and unconstitutional.”

Yoon, in a televised speech, argued that martial law would assist in “rebuilding and protecting” the country from “falling into the depths of national ruin.” He claimed he would “eradicate pro-North Korean forces and protect the constitutional democratic order.”

“I will eliminate anti-state forces as quickly as possible and normalize the country,” he said, asking the public to trust him and tolerate “some inconveniences.”

The martial law order forbids “denying free democracy or attempting a subversion” and criminalizes “fake news” along with “manipulating public opinion.” It also demands that doctors resume work, ending their months-long strike against increased medical school admissions. “Strikes, work stoppages and rallies that incite social chaos” are also banned.

Citizens have already begun to fill the streets in protest.

Given the military's division and public demonstrations against the first imposition of martial law in 40 years, what could Yoon's future hold?

The Democratic members of the assembly have been quick to initiate impeachments, having already removed three prosecutors and several ministers. President Yoon himself is under investigation for corruption, and this martial law decree seems to offer yet more ammunition for his detractors.

It's quite likely that Yeol will be impeached. At the least, he has royally screwed up.

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Kim Jong Un promises 'death blow' to his enemies, ignores our VIC

North Korea Supreme Leader for Life Kim Jong Un, held a meeting with his military officials last week and vowed an overwhelming assault on any possible enemy, totally ignoring the U.S. VIC [Vegetable In Chief] Joe Biden's request for "compamanonopan" [i.e., cooperation].

Kim made the statement on Wednesday while speaking at Kim Jong-il University of Military and Politics (Go Emaciates!) as reported by Yonhap News Agency. They said that Kim was poised to make a "death blow" to enemies.

"[Kim Jong Un] said that now is the time to be more thoroughly prepared for a war than ever before and that the DPRK should be more firmly and perfectly prepared for a war, which should be won without fail, not just for a possible war," North Korean state media reported.

"DPRK" stands for "Democratic People's Republic of Korea," the country's official name, but it's an oxymoron to believe that it belongs to the people.

"It is an immutable law of war victory to neutralize the numerical and military and technical superiority of the enemy by means of superiority in ideology and war methods," Kim Jong Un said in Korean, thoroughly confusing himself and Yonhap News Agency.

He reportedly added that "now is the time to be more thoroughly prepared for a war than ever before and that the DPRK should be more firmly and perfectly prepared for a war, which should be won without fail, not just for a possible war."

The dictator's aggressive tone shoots down any prospect of cooling tensions growing between North Korea, Japan, South Korea, and the U.S.

Alleged U.S. President Joe Biden mumbled an appeal Wednesday for Kim to accept a Japanese proposal for international talks.

"We welcome the opportunity of our allies to initiate dialogue with the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea," Biden mush-mouthed during a joint press conference with Kishida. "As I’ve said many times, we’re open to dialogue ourselves without preconditions with the DPRK."

"The window of a discussion with North Korea is open," Kishida said at the same conference. "The establishment of a meaningful relationship between Japan and North Korea is in the interests of both Japan and North Korea and it could be hugely beneficial to the peace and stability of the region."

North Korea has taken an even more caustic international posture than usual in recent months, abandoning its symbolic goal of reunification with South Korea and declaring them their "primary foe" and "principal enemy."

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North Korea fires hundreds of artillery rounds into disputed area with South Korea

North Korea conducted yet another round of artillery fun and games by firing over 200 artillery shells near its disputed border with South Korea.

South Korean intelligence estimates more than 200 shells fired into the area on Friday and an additional 60 rounds of artillery on Saturday. 

In response to the hermit kingdom, South Korea responded with about 400 rounds back at them, the SoKo Defense Ministry reported.

South Korean military officials are in contact with the U.S. and both countries are monitoring the situation as it appears to be incessantly escalating.

"We gravely warn that the entire responsibility of such crisis-escalating situations lies with North Korea and strongly call for its immediate halt," South Korean Joint Chiefs of Staff spokesman Col. Lee Sung-jun said at a Friday press conference.

Lee continued, "Under close coordination between South Korea and the United States, our military is tracking and monitoring related activity, and will conduct corresponding measures to North Korea's provocations."

So it seems as if the world is on its last legs with all the divisiveness, anger, and the accepted anti-Semitism.

The western sea border between North Korean and South Korean territory has been the site of multiple skirmishes since the end of the Korean War. In 2010, North Korea allegedly torpedoed a warship owned by the South, killing 46 sailors.

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Kim's rocket goes BOOM! during launch and it was caught on camera

Stage One of a North Korean rocket exploded on Tuesday during a alleged spy satellite launch, a video that captured the event shows. The camera, normally used for tracking meteors or shooting stars, was from South Korea's Yonsei University [Go Jajangmyeons!]. The video showed the first stage of the North Korean Chollima-1 rocket appearing to erupt and spread debris, Reuters reported on Friday.

"This time they appear to have detonated the first stage propellant in mid-air," Byun Yong-Ik, an astronomy professor at Yonsei University, told Reuters. "This kind of measure was not seen in the previous launch attempts, and it could have been an effort to prevent South Korean and U.S. authorities from recovering the (rocket), as it is equipped with a new engine."

The activity was classified as unusual by North Korean rocket experts in the report.

The U.S. Space Force, a branch of the military initiated by former President Donald Trump, cataloged an object in orbit matching the trajectory of the launch, suggesting the spy satellite is actually in space, astronomer Jonathan McDowell posted Tuesday on X.

McDowell, who is based at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, also tracks worldwide space launches, landings and re-entries.

Following North Korea's claims of the successful spy satellite launch on Tuesday, senior U.S. officials and the Biden White House condemned the activity and even wagged their fingers.

White House officials released a statement saying the launch on Tuesday was "a brazen violation of multiple UN (United Nations) Security Council resolutions, raises tensions, and risks destabilizing the security situation in the region and beyond."

South Korea is planning its own first spy satellite for launch later in November, on a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launching from Vandenberg Space Force Base.

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US has N. Korea defector in custody after his months of detainment in the hermit nation

North Korea has released Travis King since holding him in detainment since July.

King has been held by North Korean authorities since July 18, when he reportedly made a dash toward the darkness of NoKo while with a tour group as he ran into the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) that is between North and South Korea.

The government of North Korea stated on Wednesday that it was planning the return of U.S. Army Pvt. Travis King to U.S. custody according to state-run news agencies.

"The relevant organ of the [Democratic People's Republic of Korea] decided to expel Travis King, a soldier of the U.S. Army who illegally intruded into the territory of the DPRK, under the law of the Republic," state media outlet Korean Central News Agency wrote, according to translations provided by Yonhap News Agency.

Since King's capture, there has been no contact with him and officials from North Korea have been intentionally vague when responding to U.S.'s begging for his return.

The incident occurred after the private finished approximately two months in a South Korean detention facility after he physically assaulted South Korean locals, according to a senior defense official who spoke with Fox News on Tuesday. He made it clear while being held in detention that he did not want to return to the United States, according to the official. 

King was released on July 10 and sent home to Fort Bliss where he faced additional military discipline under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) and possible discharge from the military. He has faced no less than two additional assault-related allegations in South Korea.

He was fined $3,950 by the court in February as he was convicted of assaulting an unidentified person. He also damaged a police vehicle in Seoul in October of last year, according to a transcript of the verdict which was obtained by the Associated Press.

The deserter admitted to crossing into North Korea according to their state media and he allegedly told them he did so because of "inhuman maltreatment and racial discrimination within the U.S. Army."

He was evidently upset that unlike BLM, he didn't get away with the violence he unleashed on people.

"During the investigation, Travis King confessed that he had decided to come over to the DPRK as he harbored ill feeling against inhuman maltreatment and racial discrimination within the U.S. Army," KCNA reported. "He also expressed his willingness to seek refuge in the DPRK or a third country, saying that he was disillusioned at the unequal American society."

Yeah, sure. 

King's mother, in an apparent effort to help her son avoid being charged with a high crime, disputed the reports from North Korea, saying that her son had no motivation to defect to the totalitarian nation. 

Maybe he just did a Biden and accidentally tripped over the DMZ into the arms of North Korea.

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N. Korea insults Biden and warns of "serious danger"

Kim Yo Jong, the skinny yet powerful sister of North Korea's Kim Jong Un, has warned that the new U.S.-South Korea defense agreement threatens regional peace and said Saturday to state media that the alleged President Joseph Robinette Biden should be ready for "far too great an after-storm." She added that the agreement would only lead to "more serious danger."

South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol was in Washington earlier last week to seek security assurances from Biden, and will he promise not to lie to them like he often does about everything.

After the summit on Wednesday, Biden claimed that any North Korean nuclear attack on the US or its allies would "result in the end of whatever regime" took such action.

Kim Yo Jong said that the summit actually strengthened North Korea's resolve to enhance its nuclear arms capabilities and that a nuclear deterrent "should be brought to further perfection." Iran is also working on that category of 'perfection.'

One of the promises by the US is to have US nuclear submarines make port calls in South Korea, for the first time in over 40 years.

Inspiring confidence and trust

The two countries also committed to plans for bilateral presidential consultations in the event of a nuclear attack from North Korea, the establishment of a nuclear consultative group and improved information exchange.

Kim, who is North Korea's top foreign policy official, stated that the agreement reflected the "most hostile and aggressive will of action" against North Korea and threatens regional peace and security, reported KCNA, the state media agency.

She also described President Biden as senile and "too miscalculating and irresponsibly brave." She is correct about the senile part, but brave is a communist lie.

She added that Pyongyang wouldn't simply dismiss his words and that he "should be prepared for far too great an after-storm." 

The only after-storm Biden experiences is what happens an hour after his oatmeal.

Biden's meeting with President Yoon came amid the increased tension in the Korean Peninsula.

In a historical, flip-off of a sanction-defying move, North Korea test-fired about 100 missiles since the start of 2022 and Kim Jong Un is likely to increase those numbers soon as he continues to flaunt North Korea's nuclear capabilities.

Meanwhile, South Korea isn't sitting on its haunches as it has increased military training with the US and calling on nuclear scientists to increase production of weapons-grade material.

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NoKo fires off ICBM capable of destroying California's French Laundry restaurant

While the Biden administration is feverishly shooting down Chinese spy balloons and Party City mylar party balloons with Sidewinder missiles that cost $450,000 a pop, North Korea quietly launched an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) that has the capability of hitting California a few days ago.

So with all the talk of China, balloons, Ukraine, Putin and people jumping out of Russian windows in an attempt to fly, we seem to be taking our eyes off the ball . . . istics. 

The nuclear-capable Hwasong-15 flew to an altitude of over 3,500 in flight then fell back down into the ocean between North Korea and Japan. The flight lasted over an hour.

Kim described the test as a demonstration of his “fatal nuclear attack capacity”  that "kill long time." Analysts think the Hwasong-15 can reach mainland USA if fired at a normal launch trajectory and utterly destroy the delusions of progressive Americans. And then there's Chinese balloons and finger traps. 

North Korea said Sunday its latest ICBM test was meant to further bolster its “fatal” nuclear attack capacity against its rivals, as it threatened additional powerful steps in response to the planned military training between the United States and South Korea, to which Rear Admiral Rachel Levine said, "Booster shots prevent the spread of COVID-19. I'm wearing pearls underneath my dress."

North Korea’s official Korean Central News Agency said its launch of this ICBM was organized “suddenly” without prior notice at the direct order of leader for life and Dennis Rodman goombah, Kim Jong Un.

After the NoKo test launch, the United States began its planned military exercises with South Korea, Japan, and other Asian allies. This was announced in advance and gave Kim shade for launching the ICBM. So let's get ready boys and girls--it's either going to be a war or a hockey game, but I repeat myself.

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North Korea fired missiles toward South Korea who fired their own back at 'em

North Korea fired about a dozen missiles toward South Korea on Wednesday, one of which landed near the SoKo sea border. 

In response to the threat, South Korea launched its own "test" missiles.

The incident comes just hours after the hermit nation threatened to use nuclear weapons to have South Korea and the U.S. "pay the most horrible price in history," not counting Biden's Inflation Reduction Act. The catalyst for Kim Jong Un's rhetoric comes from the ongoing South Korean-U.S. military drills that the fat man views as an invasion rehearsal.

South Korea's Joint Chiefs of Staff said at least one of the missiles launched by North Korea landed less than 40 miles from the South Korean city of Sokcho on the east coast and 104 miles from Ulleung, where air raid warnings had sounded.

"We heard the siren at around 8:55 am and all of us in the building went down to the evacuation place in the basement," an Ulleung county official told Reuters. "We stayed there until we came upstairs at around 9:15 after hearing that the projectile fell into the high seas."

According to SoKo's Joint Chiefs of Staff, President Yoon Suk-yeol ordered a "swift response" to NoKo's latest threat.

Kim has demanded the U.S. and South Korea end large-scale military exercises around the peninsula because it evidently gives him the willies.

This was the closest a North Korean ballistic missile had landed near South Korean waters and things appear to be heating up between the two countries.

"Our military can never tolerate this kind of North Korea's provocative act, and will strictly and firmly respond under close South Korea-U.S. cooperation," South Korea's Joint Chiefs of Staff said in a news release.

The U.S. and South Korea began one of their largest combined military air drills on Monday, called Vigilant Storm, with hundreds of warplanes from both countries staging mock attacks 24 hours per day. This may be seen by Kim as a threat to his dictatorship and he reacted in a bellicose response.

President Biden spoke to our own Joint Chiefs of Staff on the situation saying, "I, uh, my son Beau died fighting the North Korean commies with Corn Pop by his side. Who?"

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North Korea has already test-fired a record number of missiles this year. The country has said a recent barrage of launches was in response to the military drills as Kim worries about his future.

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Kim Jong Un ready to fight US and "eliminate" South Korea

Corpulent Leader for Life of North Korea Kim Jong Un is now threatening to "eliminate" South Korea and claims the is ready for battle with the United States and isn't afraid to have any of his people die for his cause. He made this speech to mark the 69th anniversary of the armistice deal that ceased the fighting in the Korean War.

Fat Kim made his first public appearance in nearly three weeks. His speech was one of his bellicose in rhetoric against South Korea since President Yoon Suk Yeol, a conservative, took office in May. 

Yoon pledged to take a tough line toward Pyongyang.

Kim said that  “US imperialists are pushing the South Korean authorities into a suicidal confrontation” with his nation, the state’s official Korean Central News Agency reported Thursday.

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Should Kim go forward in a confrontation with South Korea, U.S. President Joe Biden said, "Huminah nominah, baloopadoo, Jack," or something like that.

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S. Korea detects shots fired, apparently by N. Korea

South Korea's military believes it detected the trajectories of shots fired by the hermit nation of North Korea launched by multiple rocket launchers (MLRs). SoKo's Joint Chief of Staff said the shots were detected after 1800 and their military had gone to a heightened alert posture without mentioning further responses.

North Korea is known to test-fire MLRs in military drills because Kim enjoys fireworks and basketball, and in recent years the country has developed larger rockets. Smaller rockets and missiles are designed to strike targets in the South in the event the south gets froggy [and wants to jump].

In 2022, NoKo has already test-fired a smorgasbord of missiles, including its largest intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) down to its MLRs. In any case, all are banned under U.N. Security Council resolutions and sanctions on NoKo have been imposed to deter their weapons development, because the North Koreans are led by one sick puppy who has no compunctions to kill--even if it's his own family member, like the uncle he had killed via cannon fire.

South Korea is pursuing a $2.6-billion artillery defensive interception system, similar to Israel's "Iron Dome," designed to protect against North Korea's arsenal of long-range guns and rockets. [The major difference is the South Korean rockets will not have a small piece taken off at the end of the rockets nose, like the Jewish rockets.]

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Unfortunately, Seoul, is South Korea's capital and with a population of 52 million and is within striking distance of North Korea's long-range guns and multiple rocket launchers.

And let us not forget that the U.S. has 28,800 military personnel in South Korea and they train with their South Korean counterparts. Should North Korea strike first, it's a given that we will not sit back and watch our guys get slaughtered.

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N. Korea fires 2 missiles at East Sea, South Korea says

"I kill you long time"

A South Korean military official claimed that North Korea has fired a pair of missiles into the waters off its eastern shore on Thursday. Perhaps this is a test to see whether US alleged President Joe Biden will do something about it beyond mumbled stuff.

The announcement was made by SoKo's Joint Chiefs of Staff on Thursday morning but no more details were released about the launch. It is also unclear as to whether the alleged President and his party will label this latest act as 'racist' but sources who wish to remain anonymous due to personal reasons say they are working to find a way of slanting that rhetoric with the midterm elections coming up and currently have no other ideas.

If the latest test-fire is not a fib by SoKo, and is confirmed, it will make it the sixth round of weapons launches just this month, and this would be a record as it matches all the launches of last year when Kim Jong Un wasn't sure whether or not Biden was sentient. Now that Kim is aware of Biden's flatline mental status, he's having a blast and is out to launch.

Earlier in the week, the South Korean military announced the North had test-fired two suspected cruise missiles. And to make matters worse, North Korea also test-fired short-range ballistic missiles and a hypersonic, super-duper, bat out of hell [RIP Meatloaf] missiles this month.

Since the Trump administration, when "Rocket Man" and his boys conducted 16 missile tests, the number has dwindled yearly.

The North Koreans have blatantly increased testing recently due to nuclear talks that were apparently going nowhere with the current administration, which has since imposed five NoKo officials with sanctions over the tests in the region.

The current pressure comes amid the China virus which is messing up the economy of the hermit kingdom, which was hurting even before as the US imposed crippling U.S.-led sanctions over its weapons program.

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Last week, North Korea issued a veiled threat to resume the testing of nuclear explosives and long-range missiles targeting the American homeland, which dictator Kim Jong Un suspended in 2018 while initiating diplomacy with the United States.

The Biden administration has offered open-ended talks, with no conditions because Biden is a houseplant. On the plus side, the US has refused at present to ease sanctions unless "Rocket Man" shows us that he is willing to abandon his nuclear weapons and missiles. If he does, North Korea would have an idiot for a dictator because without nukes, Kim is no stronger than a nonbinary male in a pussy hat.

Let's keep an eye on this situation because it ain't over until a Republican is in the White House.

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North Korea executed at least 7 people for selling or watching K-pop videos

According to a report, North Korea executed at least seven of its citizens over the past decade for either watching or selling K-pop videos. [H/T Fox News]

K-pop is short for Korean popular music that started in South Korea as part of their culture and is influenced by other genres and styles around the world such as pop, rock, gospel, jazz, reggae, R&B and more. Modern K-pop began in the 1990s as part of K-pop "idol" culture and grew into a subculture amassing a huge following of teens and young adults.

The recent and disturbing uncovering of the executions was documented in a new report titled "Mapping Killings Under Kim Jong-Un" and provided by a South Korean-based human rights group. The document uncovered at least seven executions in North Korea dating back to 2012 and was reviewed by Fox News.

Unafraid of any blowback from its citizens, the executions were often carried out publicly as a warning to others who might want to pretend they weren't [barely] living in one of the world's worst s**tholes under a corpulent dictator who would just as soon kill you as look at you. Kim would usually force family members of those to be executed to watch the deadly punishments, but it is not known whether former NBA player Dennis Rodman ever attended an execution.

The reported executions under fat Kim’s reign were mapped out with the help of 638 North Korean defectors who cooperated with the report’s authors.

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Last June, the New York Post reported that Kim launched a secretive anti-K-pop campaign to impose harsher penalties on citizens caught listening to the popular genre of music from South Korea. The evil dictator has called K-pop a "vicious cancer" corrupting the “attire, hairstyles, speeches, behaviors” of young people in North Korea.

But Kim's hairstyle is just fine . . . except for anyone else who dares to try sporting it.

Talk about culture wars--this is a real one.

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SoKo TaeKwonDo HQ awards Trump 9th-degree black belt

Trump and Choi

He kicked their symbolic butts with words, now he can kick them with his fists of blazing fury. Former President Donald Trump has joined the Pope in receiving one of the highest honors that can be presented by Koreans: the 9th-degree blackbelt in TaeKwonDo.

The presenters of the belt made a special robe for Trump to wear at the presentation and you can see by the big guy's face that he enjoyed every minute of the affair. [Perhaps I should have chosen a better word.]

The Donald is the first and only American president to receive such a high honor. It was presented by the head of South Korea's Kukkiwon TaeKwonDo organization who flew to Mar-a-Lago in Florida.

The U.S.-based TaeKwonDo GrandMaster Eungil Choi (to left of Trump in photo) helped organize the presentation. Choi is also a ninth degree blackbelt but Trump clearly has the weight advantage, except the award is honorary and it's doubtful Trump could go even one round against Choi.

TaeKwonDo is to South Korea as football is to the United States, only less dangerous. It is an Olympic sport as well and is widely practiced in both North and South Korea, including the military. This is the one thing that both Koreas have in common.

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The South Korea-based Kukkiwon TaeKwonDo headquarters has been instrumental in arranging past visits to the U.S. which includes demonstrations by the North Korean team.

The last major international figure to be awarded a very high-ranking honorary blackbelt was the Pope, who received a tenth degree blackbelt in 2017 and threatened to kick Trump's proverbial butt by one degree. It is rumored that Trump has now accepted the challenge.

Imagine what that would look like.

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NoKo orders handing over of pet dogs for butchering as country undergoes food shortage

The high exalted leader for life of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, has declared that pet dogs symbolize capitalist "decadence" and has ordered man's best friend in Pyongyang to be rounded up. Dog owners worry that their own beloved pets are to be eaten to solve the country's food shortage, by which Kim obviously is not affected.

In July, Kim announced that pet ownership is now illegal and denounced having a dog is "a tainted trend of bourgeois ideology."

Easy for the fat man to say. You know he's eating just fine.

"Authorities have identified households with pet dogs and are forcing them to give them up or forcefully confiscating them and putting them down," a source told South Korea's Chosun Ilbo newspaper.

'Some of the dogs are sent to state-run zoos or sold to dog meat restaurants'.

Eating Phydeaux [pronounced "Fido"] has long been considered a delicacy on the Korean Peninsula, although the tradition is gradually fading out in South Korea.

Still, an estimated 1 million dogs are reared on farms to be consumed every year in the South, even those dogs who beg, roll over, and give you their paw.

Dog meat is still a staple on the menu in the North, however, with a number of dedicated dog restaurants in Pyongyang.

The only drawback is that whenever you finish a meal of dog, you have an uncontrollable desire to life your leg when passing a fire hydrant.  Also, the term "hot dog" takes on a new meaning in the Korean Peninsula.

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SHOTS FIRED! NoKo reportedly opens fire on SoKo guard post at DMZ

BREAKING -- North Korea has reportedly fired shots at a South Korean guard post in the demilitarized zone (DMZ) Saturday night. In response, South Korean military personnel returned fire.

Fortunately, the troops were members of the "gang that couldn't shoot straight" or they purposely tried to not hit a human target. Nobody was struck by gunfire in the incident.

Former newspaper, The New York Times reported. “The South said it was contacting the North through a military hotline to prevent the situation from escalating. It remained unclear why the North fired the shots.”

This is a developing story so please check back with Brain Flushings and wash your hands in the meantime.


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Rocket Man launches 2 short range missiles: flips off POTUS

Kim Jong-un launched a pair of short range missiles in a show of defiance to President Trump and all he tweets for.

South Korean military leaders say the surprise launch took place in the Wonsan region in east of the rogue state.

Both missiles travelled approximately 270 miles before falling into the Sea of Japan, reports from North Korea say.

It is the first missile test reported since President Trump and the chubby NoKo leader met at the demilitarised zone (DMZ) between the two Koreas at the end of June, shook hands and smiled at each other like old friends.

The White House, Pentagon and US State Department did not immediately respond to requests for comment because they were probably slightly embarrassed over Kim's open defiance.

However, the joint chiefs said South Korean and US militaries were reportedly analyzing details of the launches.

A US defense official said the secret launch appears to be similar to the recent May 2019 launch where two short range missiles were also fired off.

"North Korea is clearly upset that the US and South Korea are conducting joint military exercises," Harry Kazianis of Washington's Center for the National Interest explained.

"We should not be shocked by this move and, in fact, we should have seen it coming."

Then why didn't we see it coming? And why didn't Kazianis warn us of the probable missile launchings? Who exactly is Harry Kazianis really working for? And what about Trump?

Pyongyang restarted missile testing following a moratorium of over a year, as negotiations with President Trump over disarmament and denuclearization stalled.

North Korea's most recent test was in May when a pair of missiles timed precisely 9 minutes before and 9 minutes after a US test of a nuclear Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM).

In a brazen taunt, the corpulent dictator Kim watched the firing of the weapon at North Korea's Academy of Defence Science.

And issuing a chilling warning, Kim said the test "serves as an event of very weighty significance in increasing the combat power of the People's Army," state media reported. Kim should never use the word "weighty."

North Korea warned the US it faces "undesired consequences" if it doesn't meet its demands in nuclear talks by the end of the year.

Yes, we face the undesired consequences of having to destroy North Korea if they test us enough,

Kim's regime is demanding the Trump administration show more flexibility - or else it will go back on its promise to scrap its deadly nuclear arsenal, a promise they never intended to keep.

Pyongyang says it will only ditch its weapons program if the US agrees to scrap crippling economic sanctions on the country. Of course, Kim is lying--if he gives up his nuclear weapons program, he might as well give up his dictatorship and put a gun to his head. Kim has made similar promises to other naive presidents such as Bill "It's Just a Cigar" Clinton and GW Bush.

In a chilling threat, North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Son Hui said in Korean: "Changing paths is not a privilege that only the United States has - but it could be our own choice if we make up our mind."

She added wantonly: "If the United States fails to reestablish its position within the timeline we gave, it will see truly undesired consequences."

On April 21, 2018, merely one day after Adolf Hitler's birthday, Kim Jong-un said the hermit nation was suspending long-range nuclear missile tests and shutting its test sites. He lied as he always does.

Trump: "Kim likes me and I like him."

At the Singapore summit on June 11, 2018, just 108 years after the birth of Jacques Cousteau, Trump and Kim agreed to start the denuclearization "very quickly." A very imprecise Trump-esque timeline, but at least he didn't hold Kim and himself to "very, very quickly."

"Ze water ees deep"

The US President said the meeting had gone "better than anyone could have expected," but a few of us were expecting it to go better.

"We are going to sign this historic agreement," said Kim. "The world will see a major change," he lied.

In the agreement, Kim overtly committed to "complete denuclearization of Korean Peninsula," as he covertly flipped the U.S. the North Korean "bird."

However, despite the pledge, the North Koreans have never halted their nuclear activities, the UN's nuclear watchdog said.

The Pentagon believes North Korea has about 200 missile launchers hidden within the country and these can fire short- and medium-range rockets.

The most likely target of such a missile launch would be South Korea, Japan, Australia and possibly US territories in the Pacific Ocean.

Revised estimates suggest the total number of missiles the rogue state has is believed to be between 13 and 21. And the regime is estimated to have at least four nuclear warheads.

Should North Korea attempt to strike any of these targets, the little country will be able to glow in the dark.


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