Comrade Sanders Urges Sexually Assault Accused Democrat To Quit Maine Race So Party Can Find Fresher Face To Lose To Susan Collins

WASHINGTON—In a stunning display of progressive principles that somehow only apply when it's politically convenient, self-described democratic socialist Bernie Sanders urged Maine's scandal-plagued Democratic Senate nominee Graham Platner to drop out of the race Tuesday, because nothing says "believe all women" like immediately throwing your own guy under the bus the second a damaging allegation drops.

"I have spoken with Graham Platner about the best path forward for Maine," Sanders, a prominent progressive backer of Platner and his biggest national ally, said in a statement."In light of these very serious allegations, I have recommended that he step aside."

Sanders, the cranky Vermont independent who caucuses with Democrats and has spent decades railing against the establishment while being the establishment, joins a growing pile-on of Democrats who were all-in on Platner until a woman accused him of forcibly having sex with her nearly five years ago, an allegation Platner has denied.

Senate Democratic leaders and their allied super PAC suddenly decided Maine, that critical battleground state Kamala Harris somehow won in 2024, isn't worth the investment if their guy might be radioactive.

Kirsten Gillibrand, chair of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, and Chuck 'Nostrils' Schumer, the top Senate Democrat, issued a joint statement to the same effect, calling for Platner to withdraw from the race and allow the party to choose a new nominee.

Democratic Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib also withdrew her endorsement for Platner on Tuesday, calling on him to 'exit the race immediately.' "These allegations are devastating and must be taken seriously," she wrote on Twitter/X.

Republicans currently enjoy a comfy 53-47 majority in the Senate, meaning Democrats would need to net four seats just to tie things up and keep pretending they run the place. Losing Maine would make that mathematical miracle basically impossible, forcing them to defend seats in places like Georgia and Michigan, states President Donald Trump actually won in 2024 while somehow flipping deep-red territory like North Carolina, Ohio, Alaska, Iowa, and Texas. 

Good luck with that, comrades.

Platner has remained silent after saying in a social media video on Monday that he was taking time "to reflect on the best path forward," and think about all the girls he loved before.

He can be replaced on the ballot if he drops out by July 13. The Maine Democratic Party would have until July 27 to select a new nominee, presumably one without quite so much baggage this week.

Potential candidates, including Democrats who lost last month's primary for governor, were already positioning themselves for a likely Senate run on Tuesday like vultures circling a progressive dream that just crashed into reality.Former state Senate President Troy Jackson filed federal paperwork on Tuesday to form an exploratory committee that allows him to start fundraising, the Bangor Daily News reported.

Nirav Shah, the former director of the Maine Center for Disease Control and Prevention, said the party should hold an open and transparent process to select a new nominee. "Anyone running for this nomination should agree to at least one televised debate and hold multiple public town halls across every corner of the state," he said in a statement on X that notably emphasized he is "not an establishment politician" or "an insider.

"Republican Incumbent Well-Funded, Surprisingly Not Under Investigation The lucky Democratic nominee, whoever that ends up being, will face Republican Senator Susan Collins, who chairs a panel that oversees the nation’s federal discretionary spending and somehow hasn't been canceled yet despite being a moderate from Maine.

Collins, 73, has a nearly $10 million war chest and is backed by multiple super PACs. The Senate Leadership Fund has pledged to invest $42 million in Maine, and Pine Tree Results PAC has spent almost $7 million boosting her campaign. The Pine Tree Results PAC has canceled its ad reservations for next week, according to the ad-tracking firm AdImpact, which suggests Republicans expect Platner to drop out this week because why waste money on a guy who's already politically dead?

In a statement on Monday, Collins called the allegations against Platner "appalling.""Nevertheless," she said, "it is not up to me to choose the Democratic nominee for Senate." Classic Collins: polite, factual, and ready to watch the Democrats eat each other alive.

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Migrant child saved from sex offender by feds: Trump cleans up Biden's mess

It is a crime to smuggle illegal aliens into this country, and particularly horrendous to expose a child to untold dangers.

Last month, a lone little girl popped out of the brush along the Rio Grande in Hidalgo, Texas, and basically turned herself in to the Border Patrol. 

She told the agents she was on her way to Chugaik, Alaska, to live with her sponsor, a guy named Douglas Price. 

Turns out Price is a 44-year-old registered sex offender, per the Department of Justice. He allegedly coughed up $5,000 from his business to pay smugglers to haul the child and her mother across the border. People like him need to be neutered. 

The girl got separated from Mom before the crossing and was wandering alone until our guys scooped her up. Dodged a nightmare bullet, thanks to the Trump administration finally getting serious about vetting sponsors for unaccompanied alien children. You know, basic adult supervision stuff the last crew apparently thought was optional.

"This man allegedly paid smugglers to bring an illegal alien child and mother to this country, and in doing so, the child ended up alone during the dangerous journey," Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche said.

"Under POTUS, vetting of sponsors for unaccompanied alien children is as strong as ever, and federal partners found this 'sponsor' to be unfit. It is a crime to smuggle illegal aliens into this country, and particularly horrendous to expose a child to untold dangers. Working with our federal partners, we will continue to uphold the law and in doing so, keep children from potential harm, Blanche added.

The Trump team has been quietly fixing what the Biden folks turned into a revolving door of horror stories, beefing up sponsor checks while hunting down the roughly 320,000 kids that last administration somehow "lost track of." Lost track. Sure. Handed off to gang members, sex traffickers, and labor exploiters in some cases, but hey, intentions were pure or whatever.

Back then, HHS geniuses would make a "simple phone call" and glance at an email photo before shipping a kid off to whoever claimed them. Groundbreaking child welfare right there.

Now sponsors and household adults get real background checks. Proof of income required. If you're claiming to be a relative, bring the DNA test. Homeland Security meets you in person, HHS does home visits. Novel concepts like "not winging it."

So far, they've tracked down 145,000 of those missing kids, White House border czar Tom Homan said recently. Not bad for a group that actually cares.

Price got slapped with charges for conspiracy to bring aliens to the United States and encouraging aliens to come to, enter, or reside in the country. If convicted, he could do up to a decade in the gray-bar hotel and kiss a $250,000 fine goodbye. 

The girl and her mom left Honduras with a smuggler in tow. Mom told her that Price would sponsor her and help with "obtaining her U.S. citizenship," court documents say.

The kid told Homeland Security investigators that Price sent money to Mom to cover the smugglers.

He funneled roughly $5,000 from his outfit, Black Bear Construction, straight to a phone number the smugglers gave them. Real subtle and not very smart.

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He even sent selfies to the mother and kept asking about the daughter's "status." Somewhere along the trail, Mom and daughter got split up.

Mom crossed less than a week after the girl made it alone. She told agents she'd known Price for about four years from working together in hotel remodeling. She also did housekeeping for him and babysat his kids.

And promised to pay him back "by working for him."

Yeah, nothing sketchy about any of that. Glad someone's finally treating this like the felony pipeline it is instead of a feel-good open-door policy.

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Biden tells Rabbis that he was "raised" in Synagogues, adding more piles to "his truth"

This past September 11th, our so called President Joe Biden told an Alaska crowd that he was at Ground Zero on September 12, 2001, the day after the attack. It was a lie. 

Whenever Biden speaks, he either makes a mega-gaffe, or tells another lie, or perhaps it's what the kids call "his truth." 

Joe Biden is one of the most dishonest politicians the country has ever had, and to say that about politicians, that's enormous.

He also steals, like when he plagiarized British Labor Party Leader Neil Kinnock's words and then went on to plagiarize a Robert F. Kennedy speech, a John F. Kennedy speech, and even a speech from Hubert H. Humphrey.

Biden has lied about his academic awards that he never received, about scholarships he never was awarded, and even his class ranking in school--he claimed to have graduated in the top half of his class when he actually finished 76th of 85.

He has gone so far as to repeatedly claim to have taken part in the civil rights movement in the 60s, but that too was a lie, just like the lie that he visited Nelson Mandela in prison.

In 1972, when his wife, Neilia and his one-year-old daughter, Naomi, were killed in a horrible car accident, our illustrious leader used the opportunity to turn it to his political advantage stating that the truck driver that hit Mrs. Biden's car was drunk at the time, when in fact he was not. In fact, Mrs. Biden failed to yield the right of way and the driver risked his own life trying to avoid hitting her. He was exonerated in court.

And there was the Amtrak lie in which Biden claimed he had a conversation with train conductor Angelo Negri. But at the time this 'conversation' was supposed to have taken place between Biden and Negri, he had been dead for over a year and was retired long before that.

Recently, Biden repeated another one of "his truth" statements saying that his grandfather who had worked as an oil company executive died in the same hospital just days before Joe was born there.

And now, on to even more recent "truths."

On Thursday evening, Biden participated in a call and delivered remarks to rabbis around the country in recognition of the Jewish High Holy Days. While on the call with the rabbis, Biden did his thing.

“You might say, was raised in the synagogues of my state. You think I’m kidding, I’m not,” our alleged President claimed. He said that the temple Beth Shalom back in Wilmington, Delaware was "the home of countless friends to me."

“I’ve always believed the message of the High Holidays is universal — that it’s never too late to repent, to change, to begin anew,” our demented POTUS said, having made a similar claim about being raised in the "Puerto Rican community at home, politically" even though very few Puerto Ricans lived in the area he did in Delaware at the time he started his career. 

He also claimed he went to "the black church" as well -- after he went to Catholic mass every morning in high school and college. No joke.

Biden: "I was born and raised in a poor, black, baptist, Jewish, Catholic, Polish, Puerto Rican area where I was a football player..." https://t.co/G90d2MzOOy— Doug Powers (@ThePowersThatBe) September 15, 2023

Joe Biden is all things to all people, except President.



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When US shows weakness, Russia and China show up

Russia and China conducted joint naval operations spitting distance off the coast of Alaska this week in a "highly provocative" show of force that triggered a US military response and angry glances from US Rear Admiral Rachel Levine.

A total of eleven Russian and Chinese vessels approached the coast of the Aleutian Islands earlier this week near the maritime boundary the US shares with Russia. Luckily the vessels did not enter US waters because that might have triggered a response by Rear Admiral Rachel Levine along with other US military leaders such as Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin.

The ships have already left the area and were followed by four US destroyers and P-8 Poseidon aircraft.

“It is a historical first,” Brent Sadler, a senior research fellow at the Heritage Foundation and a retired Navy captain, told the outlet. “Given the context of the war in Ukraine and tensions around Taiwan, this move is highly provocative.”

It appears that our enemies have become emboldened by a president who can't even walk up a flight of stairs without taking a header, and who cannot even remember why he was walking up stairs to begin with, and a military that is more concerned with equity than competence.

Rear Admiral Rachel Levine

The exact time and location of the embarrassingly near invasion have not been made public, and information about the event is still being declassified.

Alaska Sen. Dan Sullivan (R) confirmed the incursion took place “within the last few days,” and that while the US military had a strong response, such an incident was unprecedented.

“First, this is unprecedented, not just for Alaska, but for America to have 11 warships jointly being operated by the Chinese and Russians — who are increasingly working together — essentially doing freedom of navigation and navigation operations incursions into Alaska’s area,” Sullivan told KTUU.

Sullivan, a member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, has repeatedly asked military leaders to increase the assets available to defend Alaska but Rear Admiral Rachel Levine is holding back until all military personnel have had their Covid shots.

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Biden admin tried to hide China's spy balloon from Americans

Alleged President Joe Biden and his handlers knew for almost a week that China had a spy balloon hovering over the United States but tried to keep it a secret from the American public. Evidently, they were worried that if the nation knew 'the deal,' it would screw up Secretary of State Antony Blinken's scheduled meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping.

Meanwhile, Republicans expressed “outrage” over Biden's refusal to do anything about the communist China's violation of international law and the threat it has on our homeland.

Rep. Nicole Malliotakis (R-Staten Island, NY) said of the incident: “It’s an outrage that the Biden Administration spotted this balloon days ago as it was flying over the Aleutian Islands and did nothing about it. The president has not even made a comment about this unacceptable act of aggression by the CCP.”

Biden's handlers knew about the balloon on January 28th, Bloomberg reported, when it was spotted over Alaska. It was tracked by the US military as it flew into Canadian airspace and re-entered American airspace on Tuesday. By Wednesday our so called president received a detailed briefing about the balloon's course with Secretary of Equity and Defense Lloyd Austin and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mark Milley.

Sources told Bloomberg that Milley and Austin argued against shooting the craft down due to the danger its debris could pose to the public. Biden, believing they were referring to an unborn baby initially wanted it destroyed, but later gave in to their higher authority. 

Bahdahbing!

However, it was Biden who chose to conceal the situation from the American public, paraphrasing Tom Cruise in 'A Few Good Men,' saying "They can't handle the truth!" 

The administration wanted the Chinese embassy in Washington, D.C. to provide an excuse for the spy balloon because Blinken was going to head to China and Biden didn't want to screw up any business deals he thought would emerge from the meeting.

It wasn't until Thursday that the administration told the public because the Billings Gazette, a local Montana newspaper, published photos of the spy balloon and the story went viral on national media.

Blinken was then forced to postpone his meeting with Xi indefinitely while China repeatedly insisted that the “airship” was meant for meteorological research and had been innocently blown off course, and President Biden is the greatest US president in the history of the world.

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Islamic jihadi files to run for Congress

A jihad supporter Gregory "Shoaib" Jones, who is a member of Muslims of the Americas (MOA), an Islamist hate group that follows the hateful Koranic teachings of Pakistani cleric Sheikh Gilani, is running for Congress in Alaska.

Shoaib is the second disgusting POS to announce a run this year, following Tahirah Amatul-Wadud in Massachusetts, a liberal state where voters are afraid of giving any guff to Muslims who act aggressively.

In 2016 Shoaib was a Bernie Sanders delegate at the Democratic National Convention and ran for the state House in District 8. Fortunately, the Clarion Project exposed his membership with MOA, which at the time triggered a statewide controversy.

Now Shoaib is running for Congress as a progressive interfaith leader, excluding Jews and Christians. If he wins the Democratic primary he will face Republican Rep. Don Young in the general election. If Shoaib wins the general election, Massachusetts will get what it deserves.

The MOA claims to have 22 "Islamic villages" in the USA, including its "Islamberg" headquarters. The group has been under continuous investigation due to its criminal and terrorist activity since the 1970s, including a raid on its guerilla training camp in Colorado in 1992.

So let's see what happens.


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USAF jets intercept 2 Russian bombers off Alaska coast

Two U.S. Air Force stealth fighter jets intercepted a pair of nuclear-capable Russian bombers Friday morning off the coast of Alaska A NORAD spokesman told Fox News. [Sarah Palin said she could see the action from her house--just kidding.]

The bombers, two Tupolev Tu-95 "Bear" aircraft, were the first of its kind in a little over a year to approach close to U.S. territory, nearing over Alaska's west coast, about 55 miles from the shore. To be clear, they remained over international airspace, so no harm, no foul.

However, the zone they entered is a U.S. air-defense identification zone (ADIZ), which is defined as airspace extending about 200 miles from the nation's coastline.

We greeted the bombers with two F-22s and stayed with them until they left the ADIZ along the Aleutian Islands, heading west. They did at no time enter North American sovereign airspace.

The Russian "Bears" date back to the 1950s. [I've encountered them flying over the USS Independence CVA-62 heading toward the Mediterranean during the Vietnam War. We greeted them with F-4 Phantoms and the Bear went on its merry way.] These giant birds were met with our F-22s around 10:00 a.m. EDT.

The Tupolev Tu-95 is a huge, four-engine turboprop, and a strategic bomber and missile platform. It was first flown in 1952, entered Soviet service in 1956 and is expected to remain in service until 2040. 

It is the only propeller-powered strategic bomber still in operation, and is one of the loudest monsters in the sky due to the fact that the propeller tips rotate faster than the speed of sound.

Earlier this month, a Russian fighter jet buzzed a U.S.N. reconnaissance plane in the Baltic Sea. The Sukhoi Su-27 jet reportedly came within 20 feet of the American P-8 in international space. We called their maneuver "unprofessional," but luckily the Su-27 pilot was professional enough not to cause an air traffic accident.

Today is the 60th anniversary of NORAD, the North American Aerospace Defense Command that monitors all air activity coming from within and outside North American airspace.

Happy anniversary!


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Global warming driving record snowfall in Alaskan mountains

Snowfalls atop Alaskan mountain range have doubled since the beginning of the industrial age, which proves global warming is real . . . at least climate change is real.

The fact that the snow has double lends some evidence that climate change can trigger major increases in regional precipitation, according to research published in the journal Scientific Reports on Tuesday.

The study, conducted by researchers from Dartmouth College (go Big Green!) the University of Maine (go Black Bears!) and the University of New Hampshire (go Wildcats!) shows levels in the Alaska Range at the highest in no less than 1,200 years, (or 438,000 days, or 10,512,000 hours), averaging about 18 feet per year from around 8 feet per year from 1600 to 1840.

"We were shocked when we first saw how much snowfall has increased," said Erich Osterberg, assistant professor of earth sciences at Dartmouth College and a flaming liberal who is the principal investigator for the research. "We had to check and double-check our results to make sure of the findings," Osterberg asserted, as if scientists before him never double-checked.

So it isn't the cold weather that brings the snow; it's the warm weather.

Now that we see clearly the earth is warming we must immediately do everything we can to prevent this from happening.  I suggest that we:

a) use paper, never plastic b) recyclec) reduce bovine flatulenced) go vegane) consider going transgender--it won't stop global warming but it's now the cool thing to dof) finally, identify as a planet unto yourself. This way you can cool off in the shower when fear of global warming overcomes you

Please, if you can think of another way to prevent global warming or climate change, write it in the comment section below after clicking on one of the ads on this blog, as that will help me go on a Caribbean vacation and get away from all this snow.



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Nikki Haley: NoKo is "begging for war"

U.S. Ambassador to the UN Nikki Haley spoke Monday morning at an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council. Haley asked for the strongest possible sanctions against the rogue nation of North Korea after their most recent nuclear test in which they claimed to have tested a hydrogen bomb.

First, she made the case by laying out the history of past "half measures" that didn't change NoKo's behavior, then said "the time for half measures . . . is over," and "enough is enough." 

Now North Korea is planning yet another nuclear test, which would be their seventh test thus far. They apparently are capable of launching an ICBM that could reach Alaska, Hawaii and Guam, as well as Japan and South Korea.

"We cannot kick this can down the road any longer," Haley said. Yesterday Haley said that North Korea is "begging for war."

President Trump did "an Obama" and condemned the test in the strongest possible terms. 

But what are the strongest possible terms? Vulgarity? Calling Kim's mother a prostitute? Just words, and words have done nothing for over two decades to reel in the dictatorship.

"North Korea is a rogue nation which has become a great threat and embarrassment to China, which is trying to help out with little success," Trump said Sunday in the strongest possible terms.

The future does not look promising for a peaceful resolution to this situation, and while Trump inherited the problem from Clinton, Bush and Obama, you know the left is going to blame him for whatever happens and make it all his fault.

But the fault began with Bill Clinton.


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US to test THAAD, an anti-missile missile system

Now that North Korea has launched an intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) capable of reaching Alaska and possibly Hawaii, our defense missile system has become significantly more significant. 

We planned our Terminal High Altitude Area Defense (THAAD) missile tests months ago. It's a system designed to intercept and blow up short-, medium- and intermediate-range ballistic missiles in their final approach to target. They used to be called 'anti-missile-missiles.'

The Missile Defense Agency (MDA) said the THAAD test against a missile target would be conducted at the Pacific Spaceport Complex Alaska in Kodiak, Alaska.

THAAD "will detect, track and engage a target with a THAAD interceptor" rocket in "early July," the MDA wrote.

Lockheed Martin, the main contractor for THAAD said it has the capability to intercept incoming missiles both inside and outside the earth's atmosphere. Hopefully, they're not simply bragging.

The US began sending THAAD to South Korea, drawing criticism from China. They claim the deployment would further destabilize the Korean peninsula and that the system's powerful radar can probe into Chinese territory and see what sneaky stuff they're up to.

Just days ago, Moscow and Beijing called for the immediate halting of the THAAD deployment in South Korea. In other words, they would like to see us not provide any protection of our 28,500 Americans and South Koreans from a North Korea strike should Kim Jong Un wake up on the wrong side of the bed. 

The Russian-Chinese joint statement claimed Washington was using North Korea as a pretext  to expand its military infrastructure in Asia.

They say this as China continues to build and militarize islands in the South China Sea and Russia teams up with Iran.

US THAAD systems were tested in 2006 and were 100 percent successful after 13 test flights. Maybe 13 is our lucky number after all.


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USAF jets intercept 2 Bears and 2 fighters

(Photo: Fox News)

The U.S. Air Force intercepted a pair of Russian Tu-95 "Bear" bombers capable of carrying nuclear weapons about 50 miles southwest of Chariot, Alaska on Thursday. The bombers were escorted by two Russian Su-35 fighter jets and entered the Alaska Air Defense Zone early Thursday morning.

Although the airspace in question is over international territory, it should be considered a provocation by the Putin regime and designed to determine our response time.

Russian Tu-95s are no strangers to our defense zones but it's unusual for them to be accompanied by Su-35 "Flanker" fighter jets.

The U.S. intercept was carried out by a pair of Air Force F-22 stealth fighter jets that were in the process of flying patrol in the area. 

A NORAD spokesperson told Fox News the intercept started at 9:00 p.m. ET on Wednesday. 

According to officials, the Su-35 jets were unarmed and in international airspace. 

The incident comes just one day after President Trump and Vladimir Putin spoke over the phone. According to the White House, the two men discussed the crises in the Middle East and North Korea but Trump did not discuss recent Russian provocations such as the four consecutive days last month in which Russian bombers flew near Alaska for the first time since 2014.

The conversation between the two egos was described by the White House as "a very good one."

That says it all.

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A boy who thinks he's a girl beats girls in track

The guy's in green

If you are what you think, why do we put people who think they're God in mental institutions?

An Alaskan high school student with the gender gear of a guy thinks he's a girl. If he thought he was a unicorn, would he able to use the unicorn bathroom? Of course not--no respectable female unicorn would stand for that and she would impale the guy if he put one foot past the bathroom threshold. 

The guy who thinks he's a girl runs on the girls track team and due to basic genetics, runs faster than most of the real girls on the team. The real girls who lost to this confused guy (or guy who's just saying he's a she to beat the slower girls) are upset that they have to compete against someone with male attributes. 

This was the first time in Alaska's history that a dude competed in the girls' state championships and it's upsetting real girls who aren't built like the guy who thinks he's a she.

This is not a transgender milestone. It is not an achievement. It's a farce.

Haines High School senior Nattaphon Wangyot (aka "Ice")  is an immigrant from Thailand and competed in the state championships in May in the 100 and 200-meter dashes. He also competed in girls' volleyball and basketball in the fall.

Saskia Harrison, a real girl and runner from Hutchison High School in Fairbanks ran against the guy and lost. Her time in the 100 was 14.11 seconds and just missed the cut, thanks to the dude. "I'm glad that this person is comfortable with who they are and they're able to be happy in who they are, but I don't think it's competitively completely 100 percent fair," she said.

The president of the Alaska Family Action, Jim Minnery held a press conference. "We are here today as a voice from the community to ensure that female athletes are not denied the playing opportunities and scholarships otherwise available to them and to make the playing field even again," he said.

He said that "allowing students to play on teams of the opposite sex disproportionately impacts female students, who will lose spots on a track, soccer and volleyball teams to male students who identify as female."

But that should make GLAAD glad. 

Freshman/woman Alia Bales said she had no clue a dude was running as a girl. "I didn't even notice it," she said. 

If it's true that transgender guys will push out real gals from championships, then these effects may go unnoticed and be more difficult to see.

If they are going to allow boys to compete with girls because the boys think that they're girls too, then they ought to go through hormone therapy and level the playing field. Otherwise, they should compete with their own gender until they share female hormones.

Even then, boys will have the muscle mass advantage over girls--it's biology, not sexism.


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Terror Alert! It's the weather, stupid

As President Obama flies from place-to-place, while Air Force One burns fuel as fast as the BT Gulf oil spill, while husband, Michelle, flies separately to go on yet another "free" vacation,  somehow the earth keeps getting warmer. 

Maybe the Obamas, Al Gore and the rest of those jet-set liberals ought to follow their own "green" agenda. That would make them "heroes" in their own mind.

You would think that ISIS would take heed to the global warming crisis and desist from immolating infidels, it pollutes the air and heats the earth, but they just keep doing the same evil crap all over again while the warnings about climate change fail to dissuade them from their religious obligations.

If the earth would only listen to Barack Obama, the place would cool down, the seas would separate for him, and the ISIS mujahedeen would lay down their weapons and sing Kumbayah (in Arabic).

Alaska refuses to go along with global warming. It just experienced the third highest snowfall for the month of November. Even the polar ice caps aren't obeying our Supreme Divider because it seems that they are growing, not shrinking.

In any case, terrorists still need to get on board because Obama said that climate change is the driving force behind their hideous actions. (And all along we fools thought it had something to do with Mohammad, the Koran, Hadith and Allah's terrorist commands.)

"Whaddaya want to do today, Mahmoud?"
"I dunno, Ali, whadda you want to do?"
"Hey, I know. Let's behead a few Jews and stone a few chicks for dressing up like Western sluts."

"Okay, sounds like a plan."

"But wait--it may get too hot outside to do all that heavy work. Maybe we should think about waiting for Obama's climate change ideas to kick in and in the meanwhile we can recycle."

"Okay, sounds like a plan."

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