Graham Platner returns like a boomerang on a rope: Dems pissed

Graham Platner was supposed to be yesterday’s problem. Fat chance.

Instead, the former neo Nazi Maine Senate candidate has apparently decided to become the Democratic Party’s version of that mysterious brown stain on the carpet that refuses to disappear no matter how much everyone insists the room has been cleaned.

Platner was forced out of the Senate race after his disturbing social media history, Nazi tattoo, domestic abuse allegations, and a credible rape allegation became impossible for Democrats to ignore. There’s damaged goods, and then there’s Graham Platner, who somehow managed to make damaged goods look like a luxury product.

Naturally, like an ugly puss pimple on a hot date, he’s back.

Comrade Platner is now scheduled to headline a Labor Day rally in Maine, prompting Democrats who had desperately hoped to move on from the controversy to react with gastroenteritis and flatulence.

According to the Bangor Daily News, Democrats are confused and frustrated that activists in Hancock County announced the rally featuring this alleged sexual abuser. The event comes as the party attempts to rally behind its new Senate nominee, former Maine Senate President Troy Jackson, who is trying to build a national campaign against five-term Republican Sen. Susan Collins.

Jackson has his own Platner-ish problems, but that's a story for another time. I'll just say, not only is he married to his second cousin, he's alleged to be abusive toward her.

Republicans have already spent weeks trying to tie Jackson to Platner. So naturally, the last thing Democrats need is for Platner to grab a microphone, step onto a stage, and remind everyone why they spent so much time trying to make him disappear.

“I don’t know what they were thinking,” former Maine Democratic Party Vice Chair Peggy Schaffer said. “He’s not an elected official, not a union member, and he’s an accused rapist.” [She left out alleged domestic abuser.]

"And this one is my Totenkopf. Nice, right?"

Jordan Wood, who ran for the Senate and House earlier this year and is working to elect Jackson and other Democrats, was equally concerned.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Wood said. “I think it’s important for the many Democratic campaigns to move on from that. Highlighting him at an event is unproductive and unhelpful for those campaigns.” Because when you pull the curtain back, you see the slime bucket this guy is.

That seems like a fairly straightforward message: Please stop inviting the controversial former candidate to Democratic events.

Unfortunately, Democrats have never been particularly good at following their own advice when a politically useful ally is accused of sexual misconduct.

Just ask Bill Clinton, Anthony Weiner, Eric Swalwell, Al Franken, or Andrew Cuomo,.

Platner’s alleged victims are not laughing.

Jenny Racicot and Lyndsey Fifield, who have accused Platner of rape and domestic abuse respectively, released a statement condemning the decision to give him another public platform. And they are Democrats!

"Last month, we came forward at great personal cost to tell the world who we knew Graham Platner to be. We shed light on some of the darkest, most painful days of our lives and detailed the toll – physical and emotional – that his abuse took on each of us. Neither of us wanted to be forced into the spotlight, but we came forward because we believe in building a future where no other woman has to endure what we did.

"In the weeks since we spoke out, Graham Platner has had every opportunity to take accountability for the pain he has caused. Instead, he has continued to double down – discrediting us and telling blatant lies about his past. And now, he’s trying to sweep the truth under the rug and pretend things are back to normal.

"While Graham’s behavior sucks, it’s hardly surprising. What is surprising is that there are people who are still willing to give him a platform despite his refusal to take any accountability for his actions. It’s a slap in the face, not just to us, but to survivors everywhere. Our message to Mainers: stand with survivors and refuse to platform abusers."

Cheyenne Hunt, executive director of Reckoning Action, also demanded that Democrats reconsider the invitation.

“Continuing to give Graham Platner a bully pulpit is irresponsible, reckless, and antithetical to the direction we should be headed as Democrats. If we want to be a party that supports survivors, we cannot also be a party that continues to platform abusers. Full stop.

"We call on the Hancock County Activists to rescind his invitation to speak, and we call on Democrats everywhere to stand with survivors.”

At this point, the Democratic Party appears to have created the political equivalent of Frankenstein’s monster, only to discover that the monster keeps showing up at Labor Day rallies demanding a microphone.

Democrats wanted Platner gone.

Platner apparently had other plans. Perhaps his oyster farm isn't doing so well. 

And now the party that desperately wants voters to forget about him is being forced to explain why its own activists are putting him on stage.

There are political candidates who refuse to die.

Then there is Graham Platner, apparently rolling toward the next campaign event like der Fuhrer's Panzers in the Ardennes, leaving Democratic campaign strategists behind him frantically searching for the political equivalent of an anti-tank weapon.

He's a fool, but a dangerous fool. Maybe, however, he'll open the eyes of Democrats who finally realize how far their party has gone over the edge and they'll switch to the Grand Old Party.

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Democrats Scramble to Replace One Embarrassing Candidate With Guy Who Had Kids With His Second Cousin

[COUSIN] BANGOR, ME — The Democratic Party, ever the champions of normalcy and family values, has once again demonstrated its unmatched talent for candidate selection. 

After Graham "HH" Platner withdrew from the Maine Senate race amid a rape allegation (which he called "categorically false"), party leaders tapped Troy Jackson as their shiny new replacement. A Maine Wire report soon revealed that Jackson and his high school sweetheart share the same great-grandparents, and the couple has two adult sons together. 

But at least they aren't siblings like Ilhan Omar.

Jackson, a former state senator and failed gubernatorial candidate, was formally nominated at the Maine Democratic Party's U.S. Senate Nominating Convention earlier this month. The report noted that such relationships are not uncommon in northern rural Maine and remain perfectly legal, a detail that only heightened the internet's reaction.  

Conservatives wasted no time celebrating the party's latest personnel decision."Can’t wait for Democrats to defend cousin marriage!," Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC), posted on X.

"If you thought Platner was a freak - meet Troy Jackson," former White House press secretary Sean Spicer posted on X.

"WTF?! Maine’s new Democratic Senate candidate Troy Jackson is in a ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP with his COUSIN, and has TWO CHILDREN with her. THIS is the guy the Democrat Party swapped Graham Platner out for," conservative influencer Nick Sortor posted on X.

I have no idea WTF stands for but it sounds bad.

"The Democrats are having a REALLY tough time finding candidates who aren’t total freaks," Sortor added.

"Troy Jackson's 'partner' is his second cousin, according to genealogical records found in Maine. Which means his kids are also his third cousins. Who said Democrats were anti-family?" Drew Berkemeyer, a writer for the Daily Wire, posted on X.

In a post on X, Independent Women's Forum Senior Policy Analyst Inez Stepman wrote, "Second cousins seem like relevant information here. But it is funny that Dems keep selecting candidates who fit the vicious stereotypes they hold about rural or working-class people: beats women, hooks up with cousin, etc."

"It's truly hysterical how Democrats can't seem to find one normal dude to run for office," conservative commentator Greg Price posted on X. The Republican account on X also posted, "Wellness check on Maine Democrats." 

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The Jackson campaign responded by changing the subject, telling Fox News Digital: "Susan Collins will do anything to distract from the fact that she votes with Trump 96% of the time and has sold out working people in Maine. Personal attacks on Troy's family are shameful and desperate."

Jackson will face incumbent Republican Sen. Susan Collins on Nov. 3 as Republicans work to protect their 53-47 Senate majority. In the meantime, Maine Democrats continue their proud tradition of proving that when it comes to finding candidates free of personal baggage, they remain the gold standard of political incompetence.

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Sheldon Whitehouse Suddenly Became Mr. Due Process: here's why

Super Duper Over Achiever

There are few things more reliable in Washington than a Democrat discovering the importance of due process the moment the accused has a "D" next to his name. Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse apparently decided it was time to audition for the role of America's foremost legal philosopher during an appearance with the Compromised News Network's Jake Tapper.

Asked about the implosion of Graham Platner's Maine Senate campaign, Whitehouse [who will never live in his namesake residence] suddenly spoke with the solemn wisdom of a man who had just wandered out of a constitutional law seminar. Funny how that works when you're one step above plankton. 

Platner resigned only after rape allegations from Jenny Raciot became public, despite Democrats somehow managing to overlook the rather noticeable issue of the alleged Nazi oyster farmer's SS tattoo. Apparently, for some people, that was not quite enough to raise concerns. Better late than never, we suppose.

The real tell came when Whitehouse brushed aside the first accuser, Lyndsey Fifield, who happened to be a Republican. Quite the coincidence. Fifield, who for some reason was Platner's former girlfriend, alleged emotional and domestic abuse, but those accusations apparently failed the Whitehouse Test for Credibility, which seems to involve checking voter registration before listening. Forget about Platner admitted to choking the chicken in an outhouse, the left didn't care because he was their 'man.'

Even more amusing is that birdcage liner known as The New York Times managed to produce a story that centered on Fifield while somehow glossing over additional allegations and evidence she had provided. CNN later corroborated Fifield's claims, and Politico reported what the Times somehow missed, namely that Platner had also allegedly sexually assaulted other women. It turns out there was quite a bit more to the story than progressive media gatekeepers initially cared to acknowledge.

Then came Whitehouse's favorite line. As a former prosecutor, he assured viewers that due process matters.

That's almost as believable as a box of used car salesmen.

This is the same Sheldon Whitehouse who enthusiastically joined the political demolition derby against Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, complete with endless theater about "boofing," lurid insinuations, and accusations that never produced evidence sufficient to support the central claims. The media spectacle rolled on anyway, because due process apparently takes an extended vacation whenever the target is a conservative.

To this day, there remains no evidence that Christine Blasey Ford ever met Kavanaugh.

Amazing how Whitehouse's legal standards can stretch farther than a campaign promise.

The Babylon Bee is reportedly considering naming Whitehouse its 2026 "Selective Outrage Lifetime Achievement Award" winner after judges praised his remarkable ability to discover principles only when they become politically convenient.

Small standards. Small consistency. Same old Washington.

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Comrade Sanders Urges Sexually Assault Accused Democrat To Quit Maine Race So Party Can Find Fresher Face To Lose To Susan Collins

WASHINGTON—In a stunning display of progressive principles that somehow only apply when it's politically convenient, self-described democratic socialist Bernie Sanders urged Maine's scandal-plagued Democratic Senate nominee Graham Platner to drop out of the race Tuesday, because nothing says "believe all women" like immediately throwing your own guy under the bus the second a damaging allegation drops.

"I have spoken with Graham Platner about the best path forward for Maine," Sanders, a prominent progressive backer of Platner and his biggest national ally, said in a statement."In light of these very serious allegations, I have recommended that he step aside."

Sanders, the cranky Vermont independent who caucuses with Democrats and has spent decades railing against the establishment while being the establishment, joins a growing pile-on of Democrats who were all-in on Platner until a woman accused him of forcibly having sex with her nearly five years ago, an allegation Platner has denied.

Senate Democratic leaders and their allied super PAC suddenly decided Maine, that critical battleground state Kamala Harris somehow won in 2024, isn't worth the investment if their guy might be radioactive.

Kirsten Gillibrand, chair of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, and Chuck 'Nostrils' Schumer, the top Senate Democrat, issued a joint statement to the same effect, calling for Platner to withdraw from the race and allow the party to choose a new nominee.

Democratic Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib also withdrew her endorsement for Platner on Tuesday, calling on him to 'exit the race immediately.' "These allegations are devastating and must be taken seriously," she wrote on Twitter/X.

Republicans currently enjoy a comfy 53-47 majority in the Senate, meaning Democrats would need to net four seats just to tie things up and keep pretending they run the place. Losing Maine would make that mathematical miracle basically impossible, forcing them to defend seats in places like Georgia and Michigan, states President Donald Trump actually won in 2024 while somehow flipping deep-red territory like North Carolina, Ohio, Alaska, Iowa, and Texas. 

Good luck with that, comrades.

Platner has remained silent after saying in a social media video on Monday that he was taking time "to reflect on the best path forward," and think about all the girls he loved before.

He can be replaced on the ballot if he drops out by July 13. The Maine Democratic Party would have until July 27 to select a new nominee, presumably one without quite so much baggage this week.

Potential candidates, including Democrats who lost last month's primary for governor, were already positioning themselves for a likely Senate run on Tuesday like vultures circling a progressive dream that just crashed into reality.Former state Senate President Troy Jackson filed federal paperwork on Tuesday to form an exploratory committee that allows him to start fundraising, the Bangor Daily News reported.

Nirav Shah, the former director of the Maine Center for Disease Control and Prevention, said the party should hold an open and transparent process to select a new nominee. "Anyone running for this nomination should agree to at least one televised debate and hold multiple public town halls across every corner of the state," he said in a statement on X that notably emphasized he is "not an establishment politician" or "an insider.

"Republican Incumbent Well-Funded, Surprisingly Not Under Investigation The lucky Democratic nominee, whoever that ends up being, will face Republican Senator Susan Collins, who chairs a panel that oversees the nation’s federal discretionary spending and somehow hasn't been canceled yet despite being a moderate from Maine.

Collins, 73, has a nearly $10 million war chest and is backed by multiple super PACs. The Senate Leadership Fund has pledged to invest $42 million in Maine, and Pine Tree Results PAC has spent almost $7 million boosting her campaign. The Pine Tree Results PAC has canceled its ad reservations for next week, according to the ad-tracking firm AdImpact, which suggests Republicans expect Platner to drop out this week because why waste money on a guy who's already politically dead?

In a statement on Monday, Collins called the allegations against Platner "appalling.""Nevertheless," she said, "it is not up to me to choose the Democratic nominee for Senate." Classic Collins: polite, factual, and ready to watch the Democrats eat each other alive.

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Another Democrat Meltdown: Sexual Assault Allegation Explodes in Platner’s Campaign Right Before the Deadline, Because of Course It Does

Throws Up In His Mouth After Smelling His Own Breath

Oh, how shocking. Another glowing progressive champion finds himself wrapped up in the kind of scandal that would end a Republican’s career in about five minutes flat. 

Democratic Senate candidate Graham "HH" Platner is now embroiled in controversy over his past behavior, including allegations of abuse from ex-girlfriends and that charming Nazi-linked tattoo he used to sport. Speculation is swirling on social media about the future of this scandal-plagued Nazi-loving far-left Democratic nominee after several of his events were mysteriously canceled over the Fourth of July weekend. Then, naturally, Politico dropped an explosive report on Monday afternoon accusing him of sexual assault, timed perfectly ahead of a key deadline. 

How convenient for the party that always lectures us about believing all women, until the woman in question becomes politically inconvenient. Just ask Hillary Clinton about that factoid.

Maine resident Jenny Racicot, 41, told Politico over the course of three interviews that Platner forced her to have sex five years ago against her will, a claim that Herr Platner denied in the story. Additionally, the report says that a man Racicot dated afterward confirmed she had told him about the incident, which was also corroborated by emails between Racicot and her therapist. 

"I remember him grabbing my pelvis and being really forceful of me," Racicot told the outlet, which allegedly took place while Platner was 'almost blackout drunk.' "I remember the specific moment where I thought to myself, like, 'This is no longer my choice.'"

Platner and his wife with whom he was unfaithful

Racicot said in the report that "one of the reasons" she didn't come forward until now was the "huge moral conflict" she had between her support of Platner's politics and not supporting him "as a person." In other words, she was torn between being a Democrat puppet or a victim of a Democrat.

"I just want the truth out there," Racicot said. "I just want people to have a whole scope of who he is as a person."

In a statement to Politico, the Nazi tattoo-wearing Platner said, "These allegations are troubling, serious, and false. Any accusation of non-consensual behavior is categorically untrue." 

The Platner campaign posted a video on X shortly after the Politico story published where Platner again called the allegations "false" and that he was going to "reflect" on the best path forward. The idea that he is capable of reflecting is questionable since vampires cast no reflection.

"So, regardless of the inaccuracy of the reporting, but mindful the political reality it will inflict, we are taking the time to reflect on the best path forward for the state that I love, the people that I love, the movement I belong to, and the goal of defeating Susan Collins," Platner says in the video. "Those were the goals when we launched this campaign, and they remain my goals today."

Translation from conservative ears: The political reality of voters finding out who you really are is proving rather inconvenient for your communist cosplay tour. As for this writer, I am ashamed that you were a US Marine.

Over the last few days, multiple Platner events over the 4th of July holiday weekend and Monday were mysteriously canceled. There was no official explanation or comment from the campaign, Bangor Daily News reported on Monday, other than one event organizer saying that an event in Gorman was canceled due to Platner "not feeling well." 

Sure, comrade; must be that sudden case of "the voters might actually hear what I stand for" flu.

The news of the canceled events led conservative outlets and pundits to speculate throughout the day on Monday, before the Politico report was published, about whether there was an underlying reason for the cancellations. Turns out their instincts were spot on, as usual.

"Graham Platner cancels MULTIPLE scheduled town hall events as progressive allies tease another scandal is about to hit his campaign," the Maine Wire news outlet posted on X. "Augusta town hall for last night - CANCELED Gorham town hall tonight - CANCELED Sanford town hall tonight - CANCELED. There are no other upcoming events listed on his FB page, or on Mobilize."

"Graham Platner no-showed Fourth of July celebrations across Maine," the National Republican Senatorial Committee posted on X in response to the Maine Wire post. "Now, he's canceling everything else. We wouldn't want to be seen in public either… "

"A well-placed source told us that Graham Platner is dropping out of the Maine Senate race this week," the Washington Reporter posted on X. "Note that Platner has yet to release his Q2 fundraising totals, a sign he may have underperformed expectations." It seems as if Maine voters are hesitant to vote Nazi/Communist this year, but give them time because, hey, you never know.

Susan Collins with her 'banky' and a new lease on Senate?

In addition to the online rumors circulating on Monday, bets on the online prediction market Polymarket surged over the weekend, with users betting that Platner would drop out before the midterms. Even the betting markets know a sinking ship when they see one and soon the rats will also depart, I suspect.

Platner has been at the center of multiple controversies since launching his campaign, including infidelity, alleged physical abuse of an ex-girlfriend, a Nazi-linked tattoo, disparaging comments about the military, referring to himself as a "communist", scrutiny over his working-class bonafides, and a variety of inflammatory posts on a deleted Reddit account. But sure, he’s definitely the man Maine needs in the Senate. What could possibly go wrong that isn't already going wrong in places like New York City?

Despite the controversies, many polls in recent weeks showed that Platner had a lead on Collins. However, a Fox News poll published last week showed Collins with a small advantage, along with more than half of respondents saying that Platner lacks the judgment to serve as a U.S. senator. 

That level of bad judgment deserves its own participation trophy . . .  and a therapist.

Now that Platner has won the Democratic primary, the next key date is 5 p.m. on Monday, July 13. Under Maine law, if Platner formally withdraws as the Democratic nominee by that deadline, the Maine Democratic Party can replace him on the general election ballot by selecting a new nominee through its party process, with the replacement required to be chosen by July 27.

"These allegations are very serious and Graham vigorously denies them," a Platner campaign mouthpiece told Fox News Digital. "They are also coached and coordinated by out of state establishment operatives. For a year, opponents of this campaign have thrown everything they can at Graham – calling him a Nazi, a war criminal, and a communist. None of it has been true and this is no different." 

"It is not a coincidence that this story comes a week before the ballot deadline, just as the previous false allegations came a week before the primary. Graham began this campaign to fight for a Maine where everyone is treated with dignity and where Mainers are put first, and no amount of desperate smears will stop this movement from seeing that vision through."Of course it’s all a vast right-wing conspiracy. It always is, until the next scandal drops.

In fact, the Democratic Party has perfected the art of dropping last minute bombs on GOP candidates and nominees, if memory serves. [See Brett Kavanaugh.]

Meanwhile, Susan Collins continues doing her job while the Democrats tear their latest “working class hero” to shreds. Business as usual in the party of decency, decorum, and implying that Republicans are a danger to the nation and must be dealt with . . . use your imagination, Antifa et al.

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‘Opportunistic Cowards’: Local Man's Lifelong Quest To Offend Absolutely Everyone Continues

Campaign Staff Reportedly Begin Excavation Project After Discovering Candidate's Closet Contains Entire Cemetery

Maine Senate Democrat candidate Graham Platner is once again making headlines after old online posts resurfaced showing that, at various points in his life, he apparently attempted to alienate every voting bloc in the state simultaneously.

The latest controversy centers on comments Platner made in 2020 in which he described police officers as "opportunistic cowards" while mocking local law enforcement for requesting riot-control equipment during the nationwide unrest that followed the death of George Floyd.

Political observers say the discovery is merely the latest artifact recovered from what experts now describe as the Platner Digital Archaeological Site, a sprawling online ruin containing years of inflammatory commentary, ideological experiments, and what historians believe was an unsuccessful attempt to offend every demographic category known to man.

Retired federal special agent and Maine state Rep. Donald Ardell was unimpressed by the revelations.

"It just shows a complete lack of understanding of the way law enforcement operates," Ardell said. "They have to be prepared for eventualities."

Investigators soon uncovered additional comments in which Platner referred to a police chief as "thin blue line trash," embraced the slogan "all cops are bastards," and suggested corruption might be embedded throughout law enforcement.

Ardell noted that many officers have grown weary of the steady stream of discoveries.

"It's a series of consistent bad decisions, and it seems to be continuing."

The police remarks join an already impressive collection of campaign headaches. Before scrubbing nearly a decade of social media activity, Platner reportedly described himself as both a communist and a socialist, mocked rural voters as racist and stupid, and made remarks about a teenage girl's suicide attempt that critics characterized as cruel.

Meanwhile, scrutiny of his personal life has produced enough material to keep opposition researchers employed through at least 2034. His campaign acknowledged that he sent sexually explicit messages to multiple women while married. Questions have also persisted regarding a Nazi-linked tattoo and why former romantic partners seemed to understand its symbolism before he did.

Platner has defended many of the posts as jokes and internet "sh*tposting," while attributing some comments to PTSD stemming from military service.

The explanation has not convinced Ardell.

"This is not a guy that has a skeleton in the closet," the lawmaker said. "This is a guy that has a whole graveyard."

At press time, opposition researchers reportedly announced the discovery of three additional digital graveyards, a crypt, and what appears to be an abandoned mineshaft beneath Platner's old Reddit account.

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New Accuser Says Platner’s Nazi Tattoo Was Actually A Reminder That America Is The Real Villain

Maine Democratic Senate candidate Graham Platner’s increasingly cursed tattoo saga took another sharp turn this week after a former romantic partner claimed the candidate fully understood the meaning behind his infamous Nazi insignia and allegedly treated it like a progressive TED Talk on American imperialism.

The unidentified woman told the New York Post she was romantically involved with Platner in 2021, back when the future Senate hopeful was apparently juggling a fiancée, a dating app habit, and a chest tattoo straight out of a History Channel documentary on “Europe’s Worst Ideas.”

“As a person who is a leftist, I immediately looked at him and asked him, ‘Is that a Totenkopf?’ and he told me a whole, ‘he will hold this weight forever’ bravado sob story about how it was, but he decided to keep it as a reminder that the United States was the evil, bad guy overseas,” she told The Post.

Apparently Platner’s explanation was not, “Oops, my bad,” but instead the classic progressive defense of “Actually America is the real fascist.”

The Post reported it corroborated portions of the woman’s account through old text messages and social media posts, because in 2026 every political scandal now comes with archived receipts and emotionally unstable screenshots.

“I very briefly was talking to and then consequently seeing Graham Platner from about February 2021 until mid July 2021 when it was revealed to me that he was cheating on his fiancée at the time,” the woman posted on X. “He knew about the fu**ing tattoo.”

According to screenshots she shared, the relationship apparently involved Nazi tattoos, infidelity, bizarre bedroom sound effects, and enough red flags to qualify as a Soviet military parade.

In one message to her mother, she reportedly blasted Platner over his “Nazi tattoo” and “small d—k,” while also accusing him of making “weird noises” and “fu**ing around on his fiancée.” In another message to a friend, she warned, “Better not take a peek at the Nazi tattoo on his chest.”

Somewhere, Democratic campaign strategists are likely wondering whether it’s still too late to run literally anyone else.

The woman also pushed back against claims that critics of Platner are just right wing operatives trying to sabotage the campaign.

“I think you’ll find that contrary to the current spin of his campaign, I am not in fact a ‘Republican operative’ hell bent on destroying his campaign, but instead am and have been very much on the left side of the political spectrum,” she wrote.

That clarification probably hurt Democrats even more. It is one thing when conservatives call you out for questionable behavior. It is another when your fellow leftists start sounding like opposition research teams.

In a lengthy statement, the woman explained she had moved to Maine during the pandemic to work at a “glamping resort” near Acadia National Park and joined Tinder because she knew nobody in the area. Unfortunately, instead of meeting a rugged outdoorsman or emotionally available yoga instructor, she matched with a Democratic Senate candidate carrying what appeared to be a live action Reddit thread on his chest.

The accusations are only the latest headache for Platner, whose explanation for the tattoo has been unraveling faster than a CNN fact check during a Republican debate.

Earlier this week, Platner’s former political director accused him of “a pattern of dishonest behavior,” which in modern politics is basically the equivalent of saying water is wet.

Despite the growing pile of controversies, Maine Democrats selected Platner on Tuesday to challenge Republican Sen. Susan Collins. The choice came after weeks of revelations involving disturbing social media activity, explicit messages with multiple women, and reports that Platner maintained an account on a platform allegedly frequented by child predators.

At this point, Democrats appear to be following the proven electoral strategy of “Surely voters won’t notice.”

Platner’s campaign attempted damage control yet again.

“Graham’s repeatedly said he picked a skull and crossbones tattoo off a wall in Croatia to commemorate surviving Ramadi and his friends who were killed there,” a spokesperson told The Post. “Graham has also since covered up the tattoo and answered countless questions about it.”

Critics noted this is a very unusual explanation, largely because most Americans commemorate military service with a shadow box, a challenge coin, or maybe a bumper sticker, not a symbol widely recognized from Nazi iconography.

Still, Democrats remain optimistic voters will focus on the important issues, like protecting democracy from mean tweets and banning gas stoves.

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Former Platner Staffer Calls BS On Dem’s “It’s Just A Military Thing” Excuse For Nazi Tattoo, Troubling Pattern Of Being A Democrat

Only an idiot would get a tattoo that [s]he had no idea of its meaning

Platner’s former political director said her boss [Vorgesetzter] knew the meaning behind his Nazi tattoo and “exhibits a pattern of dishonest behavior.” 

In a stunning act of basic human decency rarely seen in modern Democratic politics, the former political director of Graham Platner’s Senate campaign has blown the whistle on her ex-boss, alleging the aspiring lawmaker knew exactly what that SS lightning-bolt tattoo meant and has a well-established habit of, well, being the kind of guy Democrats rush to defend anyway.

In an op-ed for The Washington Post, former Maine state representative Genevieve McDonald revealed that her blind enthusiasm for the Platner campaign hit a brick wall the moment reality intruded.

“Taking the job meant leaving a position as a senior policy adviser at a government relations firm in the state, but I thought that Platner and I shared the same goal: fighting for the working people of Maine,” she wrote on Monday. “I quit the campaign in October, disturbed by what I learned about the candidate and concerned about his potential impact on the Democratic Party’s prospects in my home state.”

The op-ed serves as a dire warning to the Democratic Party as voters head to the polls on Tuesday to nominate someone—anyone—to lose to incumbent Republican Senator Sudan Collins in November.

Back in September, Platner casually informed McDonald that he had a “problematic” tattoo that might raise a few eyebrows, but assured her it was just a “military thing.” [Actually, it was a Nazi thing.]

“I believed him,” she wrote in the WAPO. “Then, I began receiving calls from Washington warning me he was not who he seemed: ‘Have you read his oppo file?’ I had not. I trusted that his out-of-state consulting team had thoroughly vetted him.”

Her account lines up with New York Times reporting that Platner was fully aware of the meaning behind his infamous Nazi SS tattoo, the same one he previously pretended was some mysterious ancient Celtic symbol for “diversity is our strength,” when, in fact, it means more like: "killing Jews is our national sport." 

McDonald finally jumped ship after old Reddit posts from 2013 resurfaced in which Platner downplayed sexual assault, because of course he did.

After departing, she turned down a $15,000 bribe to sign a nondisclosure agreement, proving she possesses more integrity than the entire DNC combined.

McDonald then took aim at the usual progressive suspects rushing to Platner’s defense, including Vermont Senator Comrade Bernie "Kill the Olagarks" Sanders, who shrugged, “Is he a saint? I guess not. I don’t know too many saints here.”

“His comment reflects one of the deepest problems in American politics today. We have learned to excuse what we should condemn,” McDonald wrote. “There are two other named candidates on Tuesday’s ballot. If Platner wins the nomination but later withdraws, Maine Democrats can hold a convention and choose a different nominee.”

“The answer to a broken political culture is not to accept it. Demand better from those entrusted with power or seeking it. Enough is enough,” she added.

Republicans, meanwhile, are sharpening their knives and stocking up on popcorn, fully prepared to turn every Platner scandal into a 30-second ad that writes itself.

With no serious opposition, Platner is heavily favored to cruise to victory in Tuesday’s primary. The only remaining mystery is how many Maine Democrats will hold their noses, vote for the guy anyway, and then spend the general election pretending they never heard of him while their Senate flip dreams go up in a cloud of swastika-shaped smoke.

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Why Graham Platner’s Top Adviser Has Democratic Operatives Practicing Deep Breathing Exercises

Maine Democrat Graham Platner is already running the sort of campaign that makes party strategists stare blankly into the middle distance while whispering, “Maybe we should have nominated literally anyone else.” Between allegations of emotional abuse, Nazi tattoos, racist Reddit posts, sexting scandals, and whatever fresh horror is scheduled to drop before lunch, the Platner campaign has become less of a Senate run and more of a live-action remake of a burning dumpster rolling downhill into a fireworks factory.

But now attention is shifting to Platner’s top aide, Morris Katz, who has reportedly inspired widespread panic among Democratic operatives after responding to the campaign crisis with the calm professionalism of a raccoon trapped inside a Chili’s kitchen.

Katz attempted to defend Platner by arguing that all these scandals prove the candidate is “authentic,” as in an authentic Nazi, which is a bold strategy considering most voters do not define authenticity as “possessing a complete archive of career-ending behavior.” 

Sources say the campaign briefly considered rebranding Platner as “a flawed but relatable human being,” before focus groups reportedly asked whether relatable humans normally have Nazi tattoos and leaked sexts floating around state politics circles.

When the sexting scandal exploded, Katz reportedly melted down and declared the exposure of Platner’s marriage problems was unfair and inappropriate, prompting veteran political consultants to gently explain that modern campaigns now treat human shame as a renewable energy source . . . except when it comes to Republicans.

Former Platner staffer Genevieve McDonald has become the campaign’s designated villain after allegedly leaking details of the sexting scandal. Her departure from the campaign came after Platner’s old Reddit posts surfaced, revealing racist and misogynistic remarks that apparently tested even Maine Democrats’ impressive tolerance for chaos, communism, anti-Semitism, and stupidity.

According to New York Magazine, Democratic strategists are now openly discussing whether images of Platner’s twigs and berries are destined to become the defining visual of the campaign season, a sentence that has likely caused several Maine voters to begin researching remote cabins in the Yukon.

“I am sure all of the other Democratic campaign consultants in New York are absolutely salivating at this,” said Mike Murphy, a top aide to both John McCain and Mitt Romney and a regular on the Sunday talk-show circuit. “You do a campaign in New York, which is the absolute nerve center of Democratic politics, and it works out, anything you do after is going to get a ton of attention and you get too much credit for what you do right and too much blame for what goes wrong.”

Translation: Katz briefly became the Democrats’ hot new wunderkind before discovering that fame in politics lasts approximately fourteen minutes and usually ends with leaked screenshots.

McDonald says Katz attempted to pressure her into retracting comments made to reporters after The Wall Street Journal contacted the campaign. According to her Facebook post, “After WSJ reached out to the Platner campaign for comment, Morris Katz demanded that I call the WSJ, retract my comments, tell them their reporting was inaccurate and send him a recording of the call.”

Political strategists reportedly reacted to this revelation the same way air traffic controllers react to hearing “What does this button do?” over the cockpit radio.

The Bangor Daily News reported Katz also warned McDonald that “If the story goes in its current iteration we’ll communicate directly on the record, and by name, that Genevieve violated the personal trust of Amy and Graham and shared explicit falsehoods to sabotage the campaign.”

Democratic consultants across New York allegedly cringed so hard upon reading the text that several suffered minor spinal injuries.

“First of all, you never put that kind of thing in a text message,” said one New York strategist. “And second of all, you never have a man do it.”

Added another strategist, “I think at some point you just have to realize that the person you are dealing with on the other side is not listening to reason and you have to cut bait and figure out how to respond.”

At this stage, many Democrats appear less concerned with winning the Senate seat than with preventing the Platner campaign from evolving into an eight-part Netflix documentary titled Too Online To Govern.

Katz and his fellow political wunderkinds reportedly still believe Platner remains an elite political talent after helping win a New York City mayoral race, which critics note is roughly equivalent to claiming strategic genius for successfully ordering coffee in Brooklyn while wearing a Che Guevara shirt.

And now, with rumors swirling that even more explicit material could emerge, party insiders are reportedly bracing for impact like passengers aboard a budget airline flight operated entirely by interns.

“Are we going to see pictures of Graham Platner’s penis before this is all over?” asked one strategist. “I think we almost certainly will.”

At press time, Democratic officials were reportedly attempting to replace the entire campaign with a moderately friendly houseplant and name it Joe.

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Dems Continue Bold Strategy Of Nominating Every Guy Who Looks Like He Owns 3 Burner Phones

"Jah das ist mein Totenkopf"

MAINE, ME, Democratic Senate hopeful Graham Platner entered the weekend with what political analysts are calling “a truly inspiring amount of self-inflicted damage,” after another round of bizarre allegations piled onto a campaign already held together with duct tape and panic.

Platner, who is attempting to unseat Republican Sen. Susan Collins, has spent the past several weeks assuring voters that his Nazi tattoo was somehow misunderstood, his sexting scandal was overblown, his Kik account was totally normal, and the growing accusations of emotional abuse from multiple women are all just part of a vast right-wing conspiracy against extremely online progressive men.

“The Democrats sure know how to pick them,” sighed one exhausted voter while deleting his “Believe Survivors” yard sign for the third time this election cycle.

Things became even stranger after Platner appeared on MS Now with Chris Hayes in what critics described as “the journalistic equivalent of being tucked into bed with warm milk and a bedtime story.” During the interview, Platner denied wrongdoing while somehow also admitting that the incriminating texts from the sexting scandal would “probably” leak eventually.

Political observers were particularly fascinated by the fact that Platner suddenly discovered the ability to deny allegations on television after apparently forgetting to do so when The New York Times first contacted him before publication.

Former Bernie Sanders aide Symone Sanders noticed the discrepancy immediately, reportedly asking the forbidden question in Democratic media circles: “Wait, if none of this happened, why didn’t you say that before?”

Comrade Sanders

Sources inside the campaign say staffers briefly considered answering the question before remembering they work in politics.

Meanwhile, viewers noted that MS Now carefully avoided asking whether the women involved were of legal age, whether the exchanges were consensual, or literally anything that might cause discomfort to Democratic operatives watching at home.

“It’s important journalists ask tough questions,” said one network producer before courageously asking Platner how difficult this has all been for him personally.

Campaign insiders remain optimistic, however, insisting that no matter what additional scandals emerge, voters will ultimately focus on the issues that matter most, like stopping fascism by electing a man with a Nazi tattoo and several mystery messaging apps.

At publishing time, CNN had reportedly launched a follow-up investigation confirming that Somali fraudsters in Minnesota are actually “victims of harmful stereotypes” and probably deserve another federal grant.

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Democrats Assured Candidate Has Finally Run Out Of Scandals

That is not a halo behind him 

WASHINGTON, D.C., Democrats reportedly breathed a cautious sigh of relief Tuesday after Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner assured them that he had finally exhausted the complete inventory of hidden personal disasters from his past.

During a private meeting with Senate Democrats, Platner attempted to calm fears that additional controversies could emerge before Maine’s Democratic primary, or possibly before lunch.

According to reports, comrade Bernie Sanders cornered Platner and asked the question haunting Democratic leadership for weeks: “Are there any more accusations coming?”

“There aren’t any,” Platner reportedly replied, while several senators immediately checked under the table for hidden burner phones.

Party leaders appeared eager to believe him after enduring what aides described as “the longest continuous scandal download since the invention of WiFi.” Democrats have spent recent weeks defending Platner through revelations involving explicit text messages, disturbing social media posts, questionable tattoos, and a Kik account that reportedly caused several staffers to quietly update their résumés.

“It’s not a secret I’ve had a messy, complicated life,” Platner told senators. “The worst of the rumors we’ve all heard are not true.”

Sources say Sen. Elizabeth Warren followed up by clarifying whether Democrats were dealing with “garden variety infidelity” or “career-ending criminal accusations,” prompting several lawmakers to nervously pretend to receive urgent phone calls.

Despite mounting controversies, many Democrats remain committed to Platner’s candidacy because Maine represents one of their best chances to flip a Republican Senate seat in 2026.

“We’ve already defended the Nazi-looking tattoo, the Reddit comments, the sexting, and the mysterious Kik account,” said one exhausted Democratic strategist. “At this point, we’re financially and emotionally invested.”

Sen. Peter Welch admitted afterward that he had “no idea” whether additional revelations might surface, while others expressed cautious optimism that Platner had finally reached the bottom of the scandal barrel.

“I didn’t go in needing assurance and I left feeling confident,” said Sen. Tina Smith, shortly before aides reportedly confiscated Platner’s old MySpace login information as a precaution.

Meanwhile, former Maine Gov. Janet Mills subtly reminded voters she technically still exists and remains on the ballot, leading several Democrats to briefly stare into the distance with the expression of people contemplating escape from a hostage situation.

For now, Democratic leaders appear determined to stand behind Platner, at least until the next batch of screenshots drops sometime Thursday afternoon.

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Chuck Schumer: "At least it isn't the really bad Nazi tattoo"

Oh golly, it's just a tattoo

WASHINGTON—In a display of rock-solid sleazy Democratic principles, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer announced Tuesday that he remains fully committed to scandal-plagued Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner, immediately quashing any naïve hopes that the party might pivot to someone who hasn't allegedly turned their campaign into a Tinder spin-off.

"I met with Graham Platner today," Schumer declared, repeating the sentence exactly five times like a malfunctioning animatronic at a very awkward Disney ride. "We're gonna beat Susan Collins and take back the Senate. Did I mention I met with him? Because I did. Five times. And that tattoo, what's it called again, oh yeah the Totenkopf, at least it isn't a swastika. They're evil. This tattoo is no big deal, and I say that as a proud Jew."

 
When reporters, exhibiting a shocking level of journalistic curiosity, pressed Schumer on whether the endorsement might budge in light of Platner's colorful extracurricular activities, the Senator simply stared into the middle distance and began humming the Democratic Party fight song.

Sources confirm he then mumbled something about "moving forward together" before power-walking toward the nearest exit.

Platner's campaign has been mired in what polite society calls "a teensy bit of controversy" for months. Recent reports revealed the candidate had been enthusiastically sexting at least six women while married, a hobby he apparently balanced alongside maintaining an active account on Kik, the anonymous messaging app beloved by America's youth and, apparently, married politicians with poor impulse control. 

Law enforcement has charmingly nicknamed the platform a "predator's paradise," which is exactly the brand vibe every Senate campaign dreams of.

Platner's wife, sweet Amy, got paid almost $30 thousand to go along with the program, and she did.

Since the sordid details emerged, Platner has displayed the political courage of a man who just remembered he left the oven on, ducking every interview request while campaign staff have taken to physically blocking reporters like overzealous bouncers at a particularly seedy club.

The Maine Democratic primary is set for next Tuesday, June 9, giving voters just enough time to decide whether they're comfortable nominating a guy whose campaign strategy seems heavily inspired by "delete your search history" rather than, say, policy positions.

Democrats remain confident that Maine voters will overlook the whole "sexting married guy on a predator app" situation because, at this point, what even is a scandal anymore? As one anonymous party strategist put it, "At least he wasn't on Truth Social."

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Sanders Says Platner Has 'Guts' To Fight Billionaires, Also Apparently Every Other Scandal Imaginable

WASHINGTON, D.C., President Donald Trump's longtime rival and part-time billionaire detector Sen. Bernie Sanders assured supporters this week that Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner remains uniquely qualified to battle wealthy elites, despite accumulating scandals at a pace usually reserved for Netflix documentaries.

According to comrade Sanders, the controversy surrounding Platner has nothing to do with his Nazi-linked tattoos, resurfaced Reddit posts, sexting allegations, or a profile on a controversial messaging platform. Rather, he suggested the real culprit is a vast billionaire conspiracy terrified of a man who apparently cannot go 24 hours without generating a new headline.

"What we're looking at right now is a situation where billionaires have already pledged to spend $90 million in a tiny state like Maine," Sanders said. "Trust me, that is a lot of money. They don't want him in."

Observers noted that while billionaires are often accused of influencing politics, they have rarely been accused of secretly forcing candidates to get questionable tattoos, post strange comments online, and sign up for Kik.

"And the reason that they do not want him in the Senate is he has had the guts to stand up to the big money interests, to fight for healthcare as a human right, to demand the billionaires start paying their fair share of taxes," the communist senator continued.

Sources close to the campaign confirmed that every time a new controversy emerges, staffers immediately assume another billionaire has somehow orchestrated it.

Platner's troubles began after footage surfaced showing a totenkopf, or death's head tattoo, on his chest. Since then, a steady stream of revelations has left reporters struggling to keep up and opposition researchers complaining about excessive overtime.

Despite the growing list of problems, Democrats remain focused on defeating incumbent Sen. Susan Collins. 

[Senator Collins, you might have observed, has an obvious tremor in her extremities and in her voice. It's a common neurological condition that she publicly disclosed last month and it is treated with medication. The cause is from a benign tumor that does not affect cognition or memory, so she is clearly no Joe Biden.]

"I think what we, as a nation, need to do is to focus on the important issues facing working families, 60% of whom are living paycheck to paycheck," Sanders said. "And I think that Graham and his wife, Amy, will work on their marriage, and I wish them the best."

Political analysts described the statement as one of the few times in American history a senator has pivoted directly from economic inequality to marriage counseling.

Collins, meanwhile, appeared exhausted by the daily revelations.

"I don’t have anything to add," Collins said. "Every day there's a new revelation about Graham Platner that reflects on his character."

Democrats backing Platner insist voters should focus on his authenticity rather than his ever-expanding collection of controversies.

Sen. Ruben Gallego argued that Platner has lived a "very, you know, real experience. He's talked about it."

"He's talked to his wife about it. There was, you know, the voters of Maine are gonna decide what they're gonna do, but, you know, we know that at this point, this man can still win the race, and as long as he continues, I think we'll all be there," Gallego said.

Republicans, meanwhile, have reportedly stopped spending money on opposition research and now simply subscribe to news alerts.

"I mean, this guy's a nut job," Sen. Eric Schmitt said.

"So, that's their call. But, you know, I won't hold my breath for the Democrats to sort of course correct on this. They're just, it's just about absolute power for them. So they want to support a dude with Nazi tattoos who has all this other stuff going on. I mean, that's on them."

At press time, campaign aides were bracing for Wednesday's scheduled scandal release, though they admitted they had no idea what it would be this time.

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