Sheldon Whitehouse Suddenly Became Mr. Due Process: here's why

Super Duper Over Achiever

There are few things more reliable in Washington than a Democrat discovering the importance of due process the moment the accused has a "D" next to his name. Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse apparently decided it was time to audition for the role of America's foremost legal philosopher during an appearance with the Compromised News Network's Jake Tapper.

Asked about the implosion of Graham Platner's Maine Senate campaign, Whitehouse [who will never live in his namesake residence] suddenly spoke with the solemn wisdom of a man who had just wandered out of a constitutional law seminar. Funny how that works when you're one step above plankton. 

Platner resigned only after rape allegations from Jenny Raciot became public, despite Democrats somehow managing to overlook the rather noticeable issue of the alleged Nazi oyster farmer's SS tattoo. Apparently, for some people, that was not quite enough to raise concerns. Better late than never, we suppose.

The real tell came when Whitehouse brushed aside the first accuser, Lyndsey Fifield, who happened to be a Republican. Quite the coincidence. Fifield, who for some reason was Platner's former girlfriend, alleged emotional and domestic abuse, but those accusations apparently failed the Whitehouse Test for Credibility, which seems to involve checking voter registration before listening. Forget about Platner admitted to choking the chicken in an outhouse, the left didn't care because he was their 'man.'

Even more amusing is that birdcage liner known as The New York Times managed to produce a story that centered on Fifield while somehow glossing over additional allegations and evidence she had provided. CNN later corroborated Fifield's claims, and Politico reported what the Times somehow missed, namely that Platner had also allegedly sexually assaulted other women. It turns out there was quite a bit more to the story than progressive media gatekeepers initially cared to acknowledge.

Then came Whitehouse's favorite line. As a former prosecutor, he assured viewers that due process matters.

That's almost as believable as a box of used car salesmen.

This is the same Sheldon Whitehouse who enthusiastically joined the political demolition derby against Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, complete with endless theater about "boofing," lurid insinuations, and accusations that never produced evidence sufficient to support the central claims. The media spectacle rolled on anyway, because due process apparently takes an extended vacation whenever the target is a conservative.

To this day, there remains no evidence that Christine Blasey Ford ever met Kavanaugh.

Amazing how Whitehouse's legal standards can stretch farther than a campaign promise.

The Babylon Bee is reportedly considering naming Whitehouse its 2026 "Selective Outrage Lifetime Achievement Award" winner after judges praised his remarkable ability to discover principles only when they become politically convenient.

Small standards. Small consistency. Same old Washington.

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