Why Graham Platner’s Top Adviser Has Democratic Operatives Practicing Deep Breathing Exercises

Maine Democrat Graham Platner is already running the sort of campaign that makes party strategists stare blankly into the middle distance while whispering, “Maybe we should have nominated literally anyone else.” Between allegations of emotional abuse, Nazi tattoos, racist Reddit posts, sexting scandals, and whatever fresh horror is scheduled to drop before lunch, the Platner campaign has become less of a Senate run and more of a live-action remake of a burning dumpster rolling downhill into a fireworks factory.

But now attention is shifting to Platner’s top aide, Morris Katz, who has reportedly inspired widespread panic among Democratic operatives after responding to the campaign crisis with the calm professionalism of a raccoon trapped inside a Chili’s kitchen.

Katz attempted to defend Platner by arguing that all these scandals prove the candidate is “authentic,” as in an authentic Nazi, which is a bold strategy considering most voters do not define authenticity as “possessing a complete archive of career-ending behavior.” 

Sources say the campaign briefly considered rebranding Platner as “a flawed but relatable human being,” before focus groups reportedly asked whether relatable humans normally have Nazi tattoos and leaked sexts floating around state politics circles.

When the sexting scandal exploded, Katz reportedly melted down and declared the exposure of Platner’s marriage problems was unfair and inappropriate, prompting veteran political consultants to gently explain that modern campaigns now treat human shame as a renewable energy source . . . except when it comes to Republicans.

Former Platner staffer Genevieve McDonald has become the campaign’s designated villain after allegedly leaking details of the sexting scandal. Her departure from the campaign came after Platner’s old Reddit posts surfaced, revealing racist and misogynistic remarks that apparently tested even Maine Democrats’ impressive tolerance for chaos, communism, anti-Semitism, and stupidity.

According to New York Magazine, Democratic strategists are now openly discussing whether images of Platner’s twigs and berries are destined to become the defining visual of the campaign season, a sentence that has likely caused several Maine voters to begin researching remote cabins in the Yukon.

“I am sure all of the other Democratic campaign consultants in New York are absolutely salivating at this,” said Mike Murphy, a top aide to both John McCain and Mitt Romney and a regular on the Sunday talk-show circuit. “You do a campaign in New York, which is the absolute nerve center of Democratic politics, and it works out, anything you do after is going to get a ton of attention and you get too much credit for what you do right and too much blame for what goes wrong.”

Translation: Katz briefly became the Democrats’ hot new wunderkind before discovering that fame in politics lasts approximately fourteen minutes and usually ends with leaked screenshots.

McDonald says Katz attempted to pressure her into retracting comments made to reporters after The Wall Street Journal contacted the campaign. According to her Facebook post, “After WSJ reached out to the Platner campaign for comment, Morris Katz demanded that I call the WSJ, retract my comments, tell them their reporting was inaccurate and send him a recording of the call.”

Political strategists reportedly reacted to this revelation the same way air traffic controllers react to hearing “What does this button do?” over the cockpit radio.

The Bangor Daily News reported Katz also warned McDonald that “If the story goes in its current iteration we’ll communicate directly on the record, and by name, that Genevieve violated the personal trust of Amy and Graham and shared explicit falsehoods to sabotage the campaign.”

Democratic consultants across New York allegedly cringed so hard upon reading the text that several suffered minor spinal injuries.

“First of all, you never put that kind of thing in a text message,” said one New York strategist. “And second of all, you never have a man do it.”

Added another strategist, “I think at some point you just have to realize that the person you are dealing with on the other side is not listening to reason and you have to cut bait and figure out how to respond.”

At this stage, many Democrats appear less concerned with winning the Senate seat than with preventing the Platner campaign from evolving into an eight-part Netflix documentary titled Too Online To Govern.

Katz and his fellow political wunderkinds reportedly still believe Platner remains an elite political talent after helping win a New York City mayoral race, which critics note is roughly equivalent to claiming strategic genius for successfully ordering coffee in Brooklyn while wearing a Che Guevara shirt.

And now, with rumors swirling that even more explicit material could emerge, party insiders are reportedly bracing for impact like passengers aboard a budget airline flight operated entirely by interns.

“Are we going to see pictures of Graham Platner’s penis before this is all over?” asked one strategist. “I think we almost certainly will.”

At press time, Democratic officials were reportedly attempting to replace the entire campaign with a moderately friendly houseplant and name it Joe.

Sex! Sexual! Sexy sex sex. Now that I have your attention, I want to say thank you for following Brain Flushings. Please take time to simply check out the sponsors on this page--it's one way to support my work and you don't need to purchase anything to do so. Of course, you can Buy Me A Coffee if you want to support me directly. And finally, don't be afraid to subscribe if you enjoy the blog--it's free, and worth the cost.

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Dems Continue Bold Strategy Of Nominating Every Guy Who Looks Like He Owns 3 Burner Phones

"Jah das ist mein Totenkopf"

MAINE, ME, Democratic Senate hopeful Graham Platner entered the weekend with what political analysts are calling “a truly inspiring amount of self-inflicted damage,” after another round of bizarre allegations piled onto a campaign already held together with duct tape and panic.

Platner, who is attempting to unseat Republican Sen. Susan Collins, has spent the past several weeks assuring voters that his Nazi tattoo was somehow misunderstood, his sexting scandal was overblown, his Kik account was totally normal, and the growing accusations of emotional abuse from multiple women are all just part of a vast right-wing conspiracy against extremely online progressive men.

“The Democrats sure know how to pick them,” sighed one exhausted voter while deleting his “Believe Survivors” yard sign for the third time this election cycle.

Things became even stranger after Platner appeared on MS Now with Chris Hayes in what critics described as “the journalistic equivalent of being tucked into bed with warm milk and a bedtime story.” During the interview, Platner denied wrongdoing while somehow also admitting that the incriminating texts from the sexting scandal would “probably” leak eventually.

Political observers were particularly fascinated by the fact that Platner suddenly discovered the ability to deny allegations on television after apparently forgetting to do so when The New York Times first contacted him before publication.

Former Bernie Sanders aide Symone Sanders noticed the discrepancy immediately, reportedly asking the forbidden question in Democratic media circles: “Wait, if none of this happened, why didn’t you say that before?”

Comrade Sanders

Sources inside the campaign say staffers briefly considered answering the question before remembering they work in politics.

Meanwhile, viewers noted that MS Now carefully avoided asking whether the women involved were of legal age, whether the exchanges were consensual, or literally anything that might cause discomfort to Democratic operatives watching at home.

“It’s important journalists ask tough questions,” said one network producer before courageously asking Platner how difficult this has all been for him personally.

Campaign insiders remain optimistic, however, insisting that no matter what additional scandals emerge, voters will ultimately focus on the issues that matter most, like stopping fascism by electing a man with a Nazi tattoo and several mystery messaging apps.

At publishing time, CNN had reportedly launched a follow-up investigation confirming that Somali fraudsters in Minnesota are actually “victims of harmful stereotypes” and probably deserve another federal grant.

Thank you for following Brain Flushings. Please take time to simply check out the sponsors on this page--it's one way to support my work and you don't need to purchase anything to do so. Of course, you can Buy Me A Coffee if you want to support me directly. And finally, don't be afraid to subscribe if you enjoy the blog--it's free, and worth the cost.

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CNN loses so many viewers, they lose some who don't even watch it in the first place

The Children's Neverland Network (CNN) has lost so many viewers that people who never watch it are watching it even less. "Reliable Sources" needs to change its title to "Unreliable Anonymous Sources," and their slogan: The Most Trusted Name in News™ needs to be changed to: "The Most Busted Duded in News."

CNN's rating are lower than whale poop and nothing seems to be changing. On the other side of the coin however, Fox News Channel (FNC) was the most-watched cable network in the 24-hour daypart in the final quarter of 2021, averaging 2.37 million viewers in primetime, while CNN came in with a mere 642,000, [about the equivalent of travelers on the rooftops of trains going from Chennai to New Delhi].

Once their number one nemesis, Donald Trump, was no longer in office after being kicked off social media, the only stories you heard wasn't so much by CNN, as they were about the network.

You had the silly Lemon to Fredo handoffs each night that sounded like they originated in a special woodworking class in junior high school. 

Then there was the disgraced Chris Cuomo situation where he worked behind the scenes, using his influence to help his disgraced brother, Handy Andy Cuomo, in trying to overcome his sex scandal and Covid incompetence, while concurrently having scandals of his own.

Then there's Don Lemon with his own sex scandal of allegedly putting his hands down the pants of another man in a bar and grabbing his junk. Most recently Lemon appeared on CNN's New Year's Eve Drunkfest where he bragged about being a grown "ass man," 

Do we really care about Lemon's sexual preferences? Or Jeffrey Toobin's Zoom masturbation scene? 

And let's not forget about Jake Tapper's producer, Rick Saleeby who is under criminal investigation for his involvement with children, and former producer John Griffin with his criminal charges and how he allegedly paid a mother to sell him her little girl in order to "groom" her sexually.

Once CNN didn't have Trump to "journalism" about round the clock, their ratings circled the bowl, and averaged 585,000 primetime views which put them into 17th place, probably behind Gilligan's Island and Matlock reruns.

TVNewser reported:

FNC averaged 1.44 million total viewers across the 24-hour day time period (total day), up six percent over third-quarter 2020. […] Fox News also averaged 2.37 million total viewers in primetime, No. 2 on basic cable (behind ESPN, which averaged 2.63 million). Fox’s 2.37 million average is less than -1% from Q3 ’21 and -37% from Q4 of ’20, which was a highly-rated quarter featuring a presidential election.

Meanwhile, CNN continued to tank, averaging just 492,000 total viewers across the 24-hour day time (total day) in the fourth quarter. As noted by TVNewser, the 492,000 was down 18 percent from third-quarter 2021, 67 percent down from fourth-quarter 2020, and an astonishing minus-73 percent compared to fourth-quarter 2020.

Meanwhile goofballs like Lemon and Brian Stelter still go after Fox News and look pathetic in their attempts to discredit the network and their viewers.

Obviously, CNN doesn't give a fiddler's fart if they're in a top-rated viewing slot. They're more interested in being with their colleague losers of the Left than appealing to a broader public as Fox News Channel obviously does. 

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And while FNC is center right, you can tell they're a lot more balanced than CNN (and the other leftist networks) when they have people like Geraldo Rivera, Jessica Tarlov, Leslie Marshall, and Harold Ford Jr. as voices from the other side. 

Also, they don't hide their opinion contributors from their journalists. You can easily tell the difference between Tucker Carlson or Sean Hannity from Bret Baier or Shannon Bream. You can't say the same about Don Lemon, Brian Stelter, or any of the others whose names I don't know because I don't watch that crap.

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Lester Holt: a closet liberal or a full-blown liberal?

Lester Holt may be a registered Republican, but it looks more like a coverup than his true political philosophy. He complied with the wishes of the Clinton campaign and while Trump blew it all by himself on several occasions, Hillary skated.

Holt called out Trump and interrupted him repeatedly, while Clinton got no questions about Benghazi or her emails. Trump, on the other hand, didn't bring it up when the issue of national security came up--that was his golden opportunity and he blew it.

The Clinton campaign gamed the system, according to the MRC (Media Research Center). Holt was in total compliance with their wishes. He pushed the birther issue, Trump's tax returns, and asked him about Clinton being "the first woman nominated by a party" and not having "the look."

The issue of the "deplorables" never once came up and Donald never went there--another big mistake.

It almost felt as if there was a conspiracy going on of a secret agreement between Trump and Clinton whereby he promised to give her the debate. Of course that's nonsense but Alex Jones will probably jump on that idea if it occurs to his paranoid brain. Can't you just see his lede: "Trump purposely throws the debate for Clinton--does she know something about him that she isn't telling?"

Dan Gainor of the MRC discussed six ways in which Clinton got to skate the debate and Holt was in the tank for the former Worst Lady.

First there's the issue of jobs. Holt shot two questions at Trump on how he planned to add jobs in spite of the fact that the first answer talked about renegotiating trade deals.

Next, Holt depicted the liberal tax plans where Clinton wanted to tax the rich and Trump supposedly was "calling for tax cuts for the wealthy." Trump had to correct him, which clearly showed Holt's bias.

On tax returns, Trump got slammed by Holt with questions on "business conflicts" but Hillary was never asked about her emails, her Goldman Sachs and other corporate speeches, or anything about Clinton Foundation business conflicts.

She was also never asked about money the Foundation received from misogynistic countries.

Fourth, Holt asked Trump about the "birther" question which went longer than Clinton's email answer and then asked Trump three separate follow-ups.

And fifth, he attacked Trump for supporting the Iraq War, never discussing how Clinton had voted to do the same. Also, it's important to realize that Trump wasn't privy to information about the Iraq situation whereas Clinton was and still voted for it. Holt never made that distinction either.

Finally, Holt asked Clinton about whether the police in the US are biased against African-Americans. She answered "I think implicit bias is a problem for everyone, not just police." Holt ignored the gaffe rather than challenge her wide brushstroke about everyone being bigoted.

I believe that Holt must have taken his cue as moderator from Candy Crowley. He was like a third debater and failed miserably, but so did Donald Trump.

Trump missed golden opportunities to destroy Clinton's position in the debate. When she accused him of being chummy with Putin, he might have replied, "I think he knows more about you, Hillary, just from reading through your emails."

It should never be the role of journalists to be the ones to make the news, anymore than an umpire or referee should determine the outcome of a game. Both sides need to be prepared, know the facts and challenge lies. It is never up to journalists to determine what is truth and what is lie.

Sometimes I wish the candidates could bring along YouTube video to prove their points. Both sides would be proven liars and the public would then have more information to make better informed decisions.

I think Clinton won this debate and I wish it wasn't so. But I'm not going to pretend that she didn't, in my opinion. Trump needs to monitor his narcissism (all presidential candidates need to be narcissistic in order to run for that office) and anticipate her strategy better than he did this time. He also needs to be able to use her attacks to his advantage--there's so much dirt on Clinton that just got swept under the carpet this time.

Finally, Trump's excuse to lay off Clinton because her family was in the room, and that he thinks Chelsea is a nice person, is not a good reason to throw the debate. 

Just lift the carpet and you'll easily show us the dirt. Chelsea knows it's there--she probably helped put it there.

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The Scandal Vandals

To say the Obama administration gets its people from Craigslist is an insult to Craigslist. The targeting of conservative groups by the IRS is looking into the emails of Lois Lerner and hoping to prove that she was doing the targeting, not some doofus in Cincinnati. So far, Lois, who had previously plead the Fifth Amendment, may be forced to testify because prior to he plea, she made claims of her innocence. She is a lawyer who should have known better, but perhaps her arrogance got in the way of her judgment.

The left wants the IRS targeting investigation to go away, but according to a Fox News poll, almost half of America believe the IRS was involved in the targeting. The public doesn't want it to go away--they want it pursued. One would think that both sides of the aisle would be concerned about an arm of government serving one party while attacking the other, but Democrats don't care about this while they're in power. Hopefully, this will change soon.

Benghazi is another issue the public sees as a cover up. Fully 61% of Americans across the political spectrum believe that what happened there on September 11, 2012 was incompetence mixed with a generous portion of cover up. There seems to be no doubt that Obama et al knew almost instantly that an anti Muhammad video had nothing to do with the attack. Certainly Hillary knew this when she lied to the families of the victims and told them that justice will be served when they incarcerate the poor slob who made the movie about the pedophile prophet of Islam. 

Hillary Clinton's words may continue to haunt her in 2016--one can only hope.  She knew it wasn't just a bunch of guys going out for a walk, and she knew it made a difference.

A New York reporter, is captured by Islamist terrorists who demand the release of three Gitmo prisoners in exchange for him. If the president refuses their demands, they plan to behead the reporter and videotape it for the Internet. But the United States doesn’t give in to terrorist’s demands and he has 24 hours before he is to be executed. The clock, as they say, is ticking . . .                                         

Jihad Joe Soft Cover

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My Brother's Spelling Bee Keeper"

My Brother's Keeper, Obama's distraction from the economy, scandals, and Obamacare, is getting a $200 million commitment from nine foundations. It's a program designed to help young men and boys of color by keeping them in school, and eventually have them train for good jobs. This is Obama using his pen and his phone to help his "brothers," but not his real brother; however, that's another story.

Hang Down Your Head, Somebody!!

The country is in trouble. I have no doubts. Benghazi seems to have become an old story that people have lost interest in, but we have no answers and four Americans are dead because of the deliberate inaction of this administration. 

There was a time in the past when an incident like Benghazi would have been met with a brutal response by us--we would send in the Marines or some military force, but now we just pretend if we don't talk about it, it'll go away. If we speak nicely about the Islamic terrorists who want us dead, maybe they will like us and not want to kill us. After all, if they want to build a mosque at Ground Zero, they have the right--it's religious freedom. If they are offended by our challenging aspects of their religion that directs them to kill us, and do so in a particular manner (beheading the enemy), we must shut up and be nice. All our politicians are doing it--we call it Political Correctness.