‘Opportunistic Cowards’: Local Man's Lifelong Quest To Offend Absolutely Everyone Continues

Campaign Staff Reportedly Begin Excavation Project After Discovering Candidate's Closet Contains Entire Cemetery

Maine Senate Democrat candidate Graham Platner is once again making headlines after old online posts resurfaced showing that, at various points in his life, he apparently attempted to alienate every voting bloc in the state simultaneously.

The latest controversy centers on comments Platner made in 2020 in which he described police officers as "opportunistic cowards" while mocking local law enforcement for requesting riot-control equipment during the nationwide unrest that followed the death of George Floyd.

Political observers say the discovery is merely the latest artifact recovered from what experts now describe as the Platner Digital Archaeological Site, a sprawling online ruin containing years of inflammatory commentary, ideological experiments, and what historians believe was an unsuccessful attempt to offend every demographic category known to man.

Retired federal special agent and Maine state Rep. Donald Ardell was unimpressed by the revelations.

"It just shows a complete lack of understanding of the way law enforcement operates," Ardell said. "They have to be prepared for eventualities."

Investigators soon uncovered additional comments in which Platner referred to a police chief as "thin blue line trash," embraced the slogan "all cops are bastards," and suggested corruption might be embedded throughout law enforcement.

Ardell noted that many officers have grown weary of the steady stream of discoveries.

"It's a series of consistent bad decisions, and it seems to be continuing."

The police remarks join an already impressive collection of campaign headaches. Before scrubbing nearly a decade of social media activity, Platner reportedly described himself as both a communist and a socialist, mocked rural voters as racist and stupid, and made remarks about a teenage girl's suicide attempt that critics characterized as cruel.

Meanwhile, scrutiny of his personal life has produced enough material to keep opposition researchers employed through at least 2034. His campaign acknowledged that he sent sexually explicit messages to multiple women while married. Questions have also persisted regarding a Nazi-linked tattoo and why former romantic partners seemed to understand its symbolism before he did.

Platner has defended many of the posts as jokes and internet "sh*tposting," while attributing some comments to PTSD stemming from military service.

The explanation has not convinced Ardell.

"This is not a guy that has a skeleton in the closet," the lawmaker said. "This is a guy that has a whole graveyard."

At press time, opposition researchers reportedly announced the discovery of three additional digital graveyards, a crypt, and what appears to be an abandoned mineshaft beneath Platner's old Reddit account.

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More on Graham Platner: a moron or an evil genius?

So who is Democrat presumptive candidate for U.S. Senate in Maine, Graham Platner? We know he's running in the 2026 primary as a heavy favorite with rival Gov. Janet Mills dropping out, and will face lifer incumbent Sen. Susan Collins this November.

Let's look at some of his history.

As a wrestler previously at Hotchkiss School, a private boarding school in CT, he was expelled due to behavioral issues and refusal to attend class.

He then attended John Baptist Memorial HS in Bangor, Maine in 2003 where he was voted in the yearbook, "most likely to start a revolution."

His military service began with the USMC 2004 to 2008, and later Maryland National Guard from about 2009/2010 to 2011.

In 2005 he was deployed in Iraq's Al-Anbar Province to east Fallujah, then the following year he was deployed to Ramadi as a machine gun section leader at the Government Center. In 2007 after voluntarily extending his service, was a machine gun section leader with Kilo Co. 3/8.

He was honorably discharged from active duty on April 29, 2008 and was awarded with Combat Action Ribbon, Iraq Campaign Medal, GWOT Expeditionary Medal, Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal (with gold star) and a Good Conduct Medal, which most Marines get unless they shoot another Marine. 

His Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) was 0331 Machine Gunner.

He enrolled at George Washington University (GWU) in Washington, D.C., after his initial Marine Corps service, using GI Bill benefits. His attendance in class was sporadic and while a student he worked the same job as AOC, a bartender. 

Evidently, Platner's brain was full and he withdrew from GWU without graduating. He had been majoring in History and it's highly likely his professors were socialists or at least, progressives.

He has no bachelor's degree or higher formal education. His background is often described in contrast to his family's more privileged/educated roots (e.g., father is a Dartmouth-educated lawyer), as he chose military service over college right after high school. 

Return and final period (2011–2016): He resumed classes while bartending at spots like the Tune Inn on Capitol Hill (popular with congressional staffers). He alternated between academics, military-related obligations, and personal struggles with PTSD, heavy drinking, and disillusionment. 

He was exposed to Edward Said’s Orientalism, which shaped his developing anti-imperial and anti-colonial views. [Moron that later.]

A class on the history of Indochina (Vietnam-era conflicts), which led him to draw parallels with U.S. wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, viewing them through a lens of colonial-style justifications and violence.
Initial goals: He planned to study Arabic with the aim of working overseas for the U.S. State Department. 

Platner has described inconsistent performance (“I either got As, or I had dropped classes”) amid PTSD, depression, and alcohol abuse. He left in summer 2016 to return to Maine for treatment and recovery. He has cited this period as one of deep personal struggle, during which many of his controversial Reddit posts (under “P-Hustle”) were made. 

[Democrats love victims, so this explains a lot about how he got to where he's at.]

Platner got his Nazi tattoo known as Totenkopf or 'death's head' in 2007 in Croatia (specifically mentioned as Split in one account), while serving in the Marine Corps [pronounced 'corpse' by Barack Hussein Obama].

In a June 2019 Reddit post (under the now-deleted account "P-Hustle," which Platner admitted owning), he commented on a helmet-cam video of U.S. Army Pfc. Ted Daniels (a Purple Heart recipient) being shot four times by Taliban fighters in Afghanistan in 2012. 

Platner wrote: “This video never gets old. Dumb motherf----r didn't deserve to live. At least his stupidity and fat ass wheezing are available for all future infantrymen to witness and hold in contempt. Poor marksmanship on the Taliban’s part is the only reason this mouthbreather made it home...”

What an American thing to say. What a guy this Platner is.

He has faced significant backlash for this disgusting anti-American comment, especially from us veterans. When confronted by Fox News, Platner did not apologize and instead pointed to his own service record (multiple combat tours), as if that gives him 'asshole immunity' for calling accusations of disrespecting veterans "slanderous and offensive." 

Platner has attributed some of his past online rhetoric to post-combat trauma/PTSD from his Marine Corps and Army National Guard service, and he has apologized for other old Reddit posts, but this specific incident has been highlighted in recent coverage of his U.S. Senate campaign in Maine.

So now he blames his PTSD, which seems to make him kind of wishy-washy.

Platner's anti-imperial views stem primarily from his combat experience in Iraq and Afghanistan, combined with intellectual influences during his time at George Washington University. 

He frames U.S. post-9/11 wars as "pointless," wasteful, colonial-style adventures that benefit defense contractors and elites while harming American service members, working-class communities, and people in the targeted countries. 

During his intermittent studies (history major, ~2008–2016), Platner encountered Edward Said’s Orientalism, which provided an anti-colonial and anti-imperial critique. A class on the history of Indochina (Vietnam era) was pivotal: he drew direct parallels between the justifications, violence, and patterns of those conflicts and U.S. actions in Iraq/Afghanistan. 

Evidently, Platner is easily influenced in the leftist direction.

Critique of Hegemony and Elites: Platner describes U.S. militarism as a mechanism to transfer taxpayer money to private interests “on the backs of working-class men and women, and on the backs of the people living in societies that we took the wars to.” He has referred to Washington as an “imperial capital.”

Fight the olagahkee, like Comrade Bernie suggests.

Bernie has been fighting the oligarchy since 1993--that's all he's got

Personal Radicalization: “My time in America’s imperial wars definitely radicalized me further.” He expresses ambivalence—pride in comrades and service, but bitterness toward politicians, brass, and the wars themselves.

Is Platner a socialist? 

Not in the sense of advocating for socialism as a system. He once self-identified that way online but currently distances himself and operates within the Democratic Party’s progressive/populist lane, in order to have a political chance of ever getting into office.

Critics who pay attention, still label him a communist/socialist based on the old posts to attack his campaign. Platner’s politics are best described as anti-oligarchy economic populism rooted in his veteran and working-class background, not orthodox communism or socialism.

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Dems complain of war zone PTSD ahead of scary midterm elections

Democrats who once thought of themselves as brave pioneers for socialism have a serious mental issue: they are scheduling psychotherapy visits due to "post traumatic stress disorder" along with "nightmares," and "anxiety" ahead of the 2018 midterm elections, according to Politico.

"Haunted by memories of 2016, liberals around the country are riven with anxiety in the campaign’s homestretch," Politico claims, and adding that leftists are dealing with the horrifying possibility that most polls — like in 2016 — are wrong, and that rumors of a "blue wave" are far overstated. 

"What if we die?" they think sub-vocally.

"Some report literal nightmares about a Democratic wipe-out," the Washington based outlet adds. "We're kind of just in the bed-wetting phase now," a Democratic pollster actually said out loud in an interview with Politico. 

A former Pelosi staffer admits that she has nightmares every night, after falling asleep reading the latest polls. All she has to do is not read the polls before bedtime, but obviously, if she worked for Nancy Pelosi, what can we expect from her?

According to a YouGov poll last week, some are complaining of symptoms of "post traumatic stress disorder" [PTSD]. Imagine if these creampuffs had to defend the nation. They wouldn't just wet the bed, they'd soil the bed, cry and hide under the covers in the stink.

Fully twenty-five percent of college students are suffering symptoms of PTSD according to the Journal of American College Health [an oxymoron if there ever was one], similar to those who've experienced school shootings--although all they've experienced is election results they don't like.

As I write this, I am waiting for the arrival of my "Liberal Tears" mug from the Daily Wire. I can't wait to use it.

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Bergdahl walks with dishonorable discharge

Garbage

The traitor who walked off his post 2009 in Afghanistan and had military personnel looking for him, some of whom were killed and others seriously injured for life, is getting a slap on the wrist. 

Bowe Bergdahl is getting no prison time and only a dishonorable discharge, which his lawyers are going to fight, they said. He has been demoted to private and will probably write a memoir which the left will gladly purchase.

"He served with honor and distinction," then National Security Advisor Susan Rice said of Bergdahl. She was also the person who, on five Sunday morning TV shows, blamed a video for the attack on the compound in Benghazi.

It turns out the honor she referred to was how he honored the Taliban, and the distinction was how he was distinctly a traitor.

President Trump, who had his Twitter account restored after a disgruntled employee shut it down for eleven minutes, tweeted:

"The decision on Sergeant Bergdahl is a complete and total disgrace to our Country and to our Military."

Bergdahl walked out of court Friday a free scumcrumpet after pleading guilty to endangering his comrades. He was fined, reduced to the rank of E1 and dishonorably discharged. That was all.

As part of his slap on his weak wrist, he will forfeit his pay of $1,000 per month for ten measly months.

The private was shaking and seemed emotional as the verdict was read. It is not known if he plans to have a sex change procedure but if he does, it's obvious the left will see him as an even bigger hero than they see him now.

In a moment of complete incomprehensible illogic, Bergdahl's defense attorney, Capt. Nina Banks, said it would not be justice to rescue Bergdahl from the Taliban "only to place him in a cell" now. She believes he has been punished enough and "paid a bitter price for the choices that he made."

So did a lot of dead and injured-for-life military people.

A psychiatrist testified that the scumcrumpet's decision to walk into the arms of the Taliban because he hated the United States was influenced by schizotypal personality disorder that made it difficult for him to understand the consequences of his traitorous actions that got people killed. That, coupled with post-traumatic stress disorder caused in part by a difficult childhood, should be reason enough to allow him to walk free with only a dishonorable discharge.

POS Bergdahl's thinking wasn't as clouded as the pseudo shrink asserted. After he was traded by Obama for five high-ranking, now missing, Taliban members, he said he walked off his post to draw attention to problems with his unit, describing to an investigating officer how he saw the missing-soldier alert unfolding. He also said the call goes "all the way up to Army command, it goes to Air Force, it goes to Marines . . . It goes to every high point and everybody finds out about it."

And this is why Trump is president.



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