Democrats Scramble to Replace One Embarrassing Candidate With Guy Who Had Kids With His Second Cousin

[COUSIN] BANGOR, ME — The Democratic Party, ever the champions of normalcy and family values, has once again demonstrated its unmatched talent for candidate selection. 

After Graham "HH" Platner withdrew from the Maine Senate race amid a rape allegation (which he called "categorically false"), party leaders tapped Troy Jackson as their shiny new replacement. A Maine Wire report soon revealed that Jackson and his high school sweetheart share the same great-grandparents, and the couple has two adult sons together. 

But at least they aren't siblings like Ilhan Omar.

Jackson, a former state senator and failed gubernatorial candidate, was formally nominated at the Maine Democratic Party's U.S. Senate Nominating Convention earlier this month. The report noted that such relationships are not uncommon in northern rural Maine and remain perfectly legal, a detail that only heightened the internet's reaction.  

Conservatives wasted no time celebrating the party's latest personnel decision."Can’t wait for Democrats to defend cousin marriage!," Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC), posted on X.

"If you thought Platner was a freak - meet Troy Jackson," former White House press secretary Sean Spicer posted on X.

"WTF?! Maine’s new Democratic Senate candidate Troy Jackson is in a ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP with his COUSIN, and has TWO CHILDREN with her. THIS is the guy the Democrat Party swapped Graham Platner out for," conservative influencer Nick Sortor posted on X.

I have no idea WTF stands for but it sounds bad.

"The Democrats are having a REALLY tough time finding candidates who aren’t total freaks," Sortor added.

"Troy Jackson's 'partner' is his second cousin, according to genealogical records found in Maine. Which means his kids are also his third cousins. Who said Democrats were anti-family?" Drew Berkemeyer, a writer for the Daily Wire, posted on X.

In a post on X, Independent Women's Forum Senior Policy Analyst Inez Stepman wrote, "Second cousins seem like relevant information here. But it is funny that Dems keep selecting candidates who fit the vicious stereotypes they hold about rural or working-class people: beats women, hooks up with cousin, etc."

"It's truly hysterical how Democrats can't seem to find one normal dude to run for office," conservative commentator Greg Price posted on X. The Republican account on X also posted, "Wellness check on Maine Democrats." 

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The Jackson campaign responded by changing the subject, telling Fox News Digital: "Susan Collins will do anything to distract from the fact that she votes with Trump 96% of the time and has sold out working people in Maine. Personal attacks on Troy's family are shameful and desperate."

Jackson will face incumbent Republican Sen. Susan Collins on Nov. 3 as Republicans work to protect their 53-47 Senate majority. In the meantime, Maine Democrats continue their proud tradition of proving that when it comes to finding candidates free of personal baggage, they remain the gold standard of political incompetence.

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