Thousands of US Flights Canceled Due To Unplugged Router

The following is satire, so don't have a cow.

While millions of passengers transformed airport terminal floors into impromptu California-style campsites, the entire architecture of American commercial aviation was brought to a screeching halt by a single, unglamorous reality. 

Somewhere in a dusty utility closet, a piece of hardware was sitting unplugged.

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy and FAA Administrator Bryan Bedford took to the podium on Saturday morning to explain that the nation's sky lanes were temporarily converted into a parking lot because a contractor may have accidentally kicked a plug out of its socket on their way to a coffee break.

The catastrophic technological failure, which stranded over 1.5 million travelers and triggered a nationwide ground stop, was not the work of sophisticated cyber warfare or malevolent artificial intelligence, or so they tell us.

Instead, we are to feel better over the crisis of the unplugged router because it wasn't caused by a cyber attack by Iran, or China, or Russia, or Bernie Sanders.

Officials spent frantic hours looking high and low, trying to untangle why seventeen different air traffic control facilities were suddenly losing radar feeds and radio frequencies. For four agonizing hours, the guardians of the skies stared at blinking lights while wondering if decades of aging infrastructure were finally collapsing under their own weight. 

As it turns out, the multi-billion-dollar aviation apparatus was brought down by an router hungry for its electric food.

Duffy used the catastrophe to pitch Congress for fifty billion dollars in emergency modernization funding. Yet the public is left to ponder a sobering thought about modern progress: human civilization can engineer supersonic flight and orbital tracking, a man on the moon, and flying cars, but our entire national transit grid remains vulnerable to an unplugged router, possibly caused by a guilty-looking feline named Aisha.

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Canadian pop singer solves Israeli-Palestinian kerfuffle with Instagram with a "free Palestine" whine

Has and causes indigestion

LOS ANGELES—In a geopolitical breakthrough that has finally brought peace to the Middle East closer than ever, pop singer Shawn Mendes has bravely solved the Israeli-Palestinian conflict from the comfort of his multi-million dollar Instagram account.

The "Treat You Better" singer courageously risked his Spotify royalties on Thursday by sharing a "Free Palestine" post to his 68.4 million followers, officially securing his status as a certified expert in centuries-old territorial disputes.

"There is a genocide happening before our eyes," he wrote in a butt-backwards claim. "The senseless killing in Gaza must stop. The children and families in Palestine have suffered for far too long, and they need our help." 

Senseless? After the Hamassholes and their terrorist jihadis attacked innocent Israelis on October 7, 2023 this mental cripple calls the Israeli response 'senseless' is obviously an antisemitic, newly minted trope that not only fails to take the massacre of over 1,200 Israelis slaughtered on that day, but also fails to take into account how exponentially the Gazan population has grown enormously over the years. If Israel wanted to commit genocide on the Gazans, there would be no Gazans. And Israel has Arabs [non-Jews, mostly Muslims] in the Knesset with the same political clout as Jewish members. 

As an added bonus, the Jewish state is a safe place for LGBTQ+yadda, yadda folks to coexist--not so much the case in any Islamic-majority countries, and certainly not Gaza. They hang or throw gays from buildings for sport.

Historians immediately discarded volumes of geopolitical research, realizing that all they needed was a 28-year-old Canadian guitar player who watched three TikTok videos and attended a concert benefit in Los Angeles. Mendes revealed he had been meticulously educating himself, which apparently meant bypassing actual Middle Eastern history and heading straight to the vanity metrics. We refer to people like Mendes as 'schmucks.'

"My friends and fellow artists, I know it can feel scary to speak up; I feel it now as I type this," he continued, clearly knowing he was in no danger. "I also feel the need to do something to help. The more of us that use our voice, the closer we are to change. If you agree please search your heart, find your courage and do what you can to help. These children in Palestine have had to be brave for too long. It’s our turn to do the same now."

Really now, this guy is a dolt at the highest level of dolt-ness. 

Critics at the United Nations were reportedly scrambling to replace their diplomatic corps with washed-up pop performers who understand that international borders can be fixed by simply urging people to vote and vibe.

The halfwit then added, "Lets normalize speaking up and standing up for those suffering from oppression," while asking fans to donate, educate, encourage, challenge, "hold those in power accountable, and vote."

Naturally, social media users were ungrateful for his sudden elevation to Secretary of State.

"You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about," one commenter wrote on his Instagram. "Not to mention there’s been a ceasefire FOR MONTHS. If a genocide is when you’re population continually increases then sure it is one."

Did I mention that Mendes is not the sharpest knife on his "Winter Holiday" tree?

Another person said they were "heartbroken" over his post, adding that they have "been adoring you since I was nine years old, never expected you to be the one to listen to people’s lies."

A third commenter told him to "Educate yourself more," and a fourth advised him to "Do some Research before you speak."

He may have wanted to but his brain was full.

"How sad it is that you are posting about a subject that is so far away from you and your knowledge," another added.

On X, a cynical observer noted that artists "literally only do this to revive their career it’s actually so pathetic and narcissistic" while another snarked, "Thank God for Rich privileged celebrities talking about political issues."

Despite the friction, a legion of devoted fans rushed to defend the cretin's profound sacrifice of tapping a screen between latte sips.

"Damn Shawn didn’t know you had game like that brb downloading all your songs," one mouth-breathing fan wrote.

"I won't lie shawn, [sic] these comments are showing their true selves and im [sic] glad you've shown yours," another person said, referring to the negative comments. "We knew you were there to treat us better," the sic fan said.

Another added, "Thank you for being human Shawn. I’m so so proud of you. Let’s keep the momentum going and never stop fighting for Palestine." 

At press time, world peace was delayed by approximately three business days while Mendes figures out how to fix inflation next.

Did I mention he's a schmuck?

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Trump Yanks Vance Off Iran File After Deal Gives Regime Extra Time To Count Oil Money, Reassigns Him To Full-Time Blue-State Corruption Beat

President Trump has removed Vice President J.D. Vance from any further involvement with Iran, a move sources describe as correcting the sole tactical error of the recent conflict. Officials say the notion that Tehran’s leadership would approach talks with anything resembling good faith proved unworkable in practice.

Just days earlier, Vance had pushed for direct negotiations with Iranian hard-liners. Two officials told reporters that Trump privately questioned the June memorandum of understanding Vance helped broker.

The Wall Street Journal reported:

“Trump in recent weeks has privately criticized the June memorandum of understanding that Vance helped negotiate and questioned whether it was a costly mistake, two officials said, arguing that it gave Iran critical time to regroup and rake in oil revenues before the U.S. imposed a naval blockade.”

In a public statement, Trump reassigned Vance entirely.

“I have asked Vice President Vance to focus his complete and total attention on the Massive Corruption and Crime taking place in Democrat run Cities and States throughout the U.S. The Blue States, such as Minnesota, California, Illinois, and many more, are all poorly run, corrupt disasters. Billions of Dollars is being stolen each and every month. Our Budget could be quickly BALANCED with the correction of this large scale criminal activity. CORRUPTION is in the Democrat Leadership’s blood! We don’t need a deal with Iran. Those days have long since passed. We’ve got their money, Hundreds of Billions of Dollars, and we’ve got their Strait! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DJT”

Administration aides say Vance will now devote his schedule to examining how multiple blue-state governments continue to lose track of large sums of federal money while main

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N. Carolina Dem flips 14th District, has Class H Felony Case

BREAKING: In a stunning upset that somehow still feels entirely on-brand, Democrat Lakesha Womack has flipped North Carolina’s 14th District, defeating Republican incumbent Tim Moore by a razor-thin 51.14%–48.86% (about 6,500 votes). 

Results remain unofficial pending certification.

Meanwhile, Womack has a pending Class H felony charge from Mecklenburg County for alleged willful failure to return a hired motor vehicle valued over $4,000 (N.C.G.S. § 14-167). 

Court records indicate she rented a 2019 Toyota Corolla from Budget in October 2019, due back by October 23, and the summons alleges she willfully failed to return it (vehicle valued around $20,000). Summons issued January 2020, originally unserved, then served in October 2026. 

Attorneys appeared for her on November 10; next hearing scheduled for December 1.

Womack has said she returned the car late while homeless with her young son, dealing with a medical emergency and ICU stay, living in a hotel, buying Dollar Tree food, and that Budget eventually retrieved the vehicle. She says she didn’t know a criminal case existed. These are her explanations; the case is still pending and she has not been convicted.

Reminder for anyone keeping score at home: a felony conviction does not automatically disqualify someone from serving in the House. Expulsion takes a two-thirds vote. House rules do address charged or convicted members regarding committees and floor privileges, but the Constitution sets the qualifications.

Just another Tuesday in American politics, where the only real crime is noticing the timeline, the statute, or the double standard.

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Amy Klobuchar Shows Us What She Really Wants Now That She's Governor-Elect

Behold the miracle of modern political metamorphosis. Just one day after being crowned governor-elect, former Senate wallflower Amy Klobuchar shed her carefully cultivated "moderate" costume faster than you can say bipartisan brunch. 

Fresh off an election victory where she swore up and down she was just a harmless centrist neighbor who loves hot-dish and moderate consensus, she bounded up to the microphone with unconcealed glee to announce her absolute favorite hobby: dismantling the Second Amendment, our right to bear arms.

Forget about the crushing tax burdens, the runaway government fraud scandals left behind by her predecessor, or the simple dignity of letting people afford groceries. No, the burning crisis keeping Minnesota awake at night is clearly that too many citizens own scary-looking plastic pieces on their rifles.

"The gun safety bill is going to get passed, and I am so excited to be working with the leaders on this, and it certainly should be one of our top priorities," Klobuchar said during a press conference. "I think that bill makes a lot of sense. I’m sure that we’ll make some changes … but the basics of that bill I hope will remain in place."

The legislative masterpiece she is so giddy to inflict upon the populace is SF 4067. 

Under this brilliant blueprint, ordinary law-abiding Minnesotans who want to keep the semi-automatic rifles they already legally own will just need to politely ask the state Bureau of Criminal Apprehension for permission slips, and then pay to renew those permission slips every three years like clockwork. Fail to do so, and you graduate from a peaceful taxpayer to a gross misdemeanor criminal in one easy step. It is compassionate governance at its finest.

Naturally, social media erupted as the sweet scent of authoritarian bureaucratic overreach filled the crisp Minnesota air.

"Democrats don't care about affordability. They only care about taking away our Second Amendment rights," conservative communicator Steve Guest posted on X. "Amy Klobuchar can't contain her excitement as she goes after law-abiding gun owners."

"In one of her first acts as governor-elect, Sen. @amyklobuchar affirmed that she will go after Minnesotans' firearms under the guise of ‘safety,’" the National Rifle Association (NRA) posted on X.

"When Amy Klobuchar told you over and over she was going to do a top-to-bottom audit, she meant of your guns, not your tax dollars," Minnesota attorney and former immigration judge Nathan Hansen posted on X.

"Why are you babbling about gun control?" Minnesota Miners, a pro-mining grassroots nonprofit in Minnesota, posted on X. "Instead you should be coming out with your plan to stop government fraud and lowering taxes. But you can't do that you have to come out attacking & trying to violate lawful gun owners constitutional rights."

"We have a duty to our nation to not comply," Minnesota Republican state Rep. Ben Davis posted on X. "Resist."

"AMY KLOBUCHAR ISN'T EVEN SWORN IN AND SHE'S ALREADY COMING FOR MINNESOTA'S RIFLES," conservative influencer Gunther Eagleman posted on X.

Fox News Digital reached out to Klobuchar’s team for comment on what aspects of the bill she does and does not support but did not receive a response, for some reason.

Perhaps her campaign handlers were too busy trying to figure out how to spin taking people's constitutional liberties away as a form of centrist harmony. After all, the governor-elect insists she is just trying to steer the ship forward.

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"I am committed as ever to moving our state forward, not moving our state to the left or to the right, but moving our state forward," Klobuchar said during the press conference.

Just forward, please. Straight off a cliff of government overreach, but at least you will be moving. Klobuchar easily defeated her Republican opponent earlier this month to inherit the desk of outgoing Governor Tim Walz, who wisely decided to exit stage left before the fallout from massive state scandals fully consumed him. Now, the torch of progressive utopia-building has been safely passed to a veteran politician who spent decades in Washington learning how to smile while telling you she knows what is best for your toolbox.

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House GOP Heroically Prevent Massie From Impeaching Hegseth, Thus Preserving Nation From Another Round Of Meaningless Hearings

Secretary of War Pete Hegseth remains free to continue doing his job after House GOP leaders successfully blocked a privileged resolution from Rep. Thomas Massie (RINO-KY) that would have forced an impeachment vote. The measure, which accused Hegseth of various high crimes related to military operations, was instead referred to the Judiciary Committee by a 211-204 vote Tuesday evening, a procedural step that in practice ends the matter.

So it seems that doing your job, one that requires cold decisions that put men and women in harm's way, is now considered a high crime. I guess if you hate the United States, it qualifies as such.

President Donald Trump, one of the most eloquent and loquacious  presidents in the history of presidents, marked the occasion on Truth Social by labeling Massie a "major LOSER" and praising Hegseth’s record on operations involving Venezuela and Iran. "The Democrats’ attempt to impeach Secretary of War Pete Hegseth has miserably FAILED!" Trump wrote, calling the result the "EXONERATION of a Great American Patriot."

The resolution itself contained eight articles covering the Iran conflict, strikes on suspected drug boats in the Caribbean, and Hegseth’s response to a seditious video from Sen. Mark Kelly (D-AZ), that urged troops to disobey "unlawful orders." Massie had filed it as a privileged measure, requiring consideration within two legislative days and overriding the normal preferences of House leadership. Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) nevertheless secured enough Republican votes to table it, even after the party’s recent midterm losses left leaders concerned about attendance.

Hegseth addressed the effort directly at a Tuesday morning news conference. "What one disgruntled and defeated congressman is attempting is not oversight, and it's not accountability. It's a political spectacle, a personal manifesto driven by ego and resentment," he said.

Every Democrat present voted to advance the resolution. Every Republican except Massie voted against it. Some members had expressed private worry earlier in the day that thin attendance could produce an unintended outcome.

"I'm going to vote no," Rep. Jake Ellzey (R-TX), told Fox News Digital. "I don't know if any Republicans other than Massie will be in support of his articles of impeachment, but I don't even know how many Republicans will be here by the time of the vote. The real question is how short are we. Numerically, if they're all here and we're not, what happens then?" Ellzey added that the push was "a ridiculous waste of time."

Even Republicans who have criticized Hegseth declined to back the sour grapes articles. 

"I think it's an effort to scapegoat Pete Hegseth for Congress shirking their own duty and, frankly, the president taking action that, in my view, is unconstitutional. but it's also not unprecedented," said Rep. Warren Davidson (R-OH). "What would be unprecedented is to hold the secretary of defense accountable for a decision the president makes. Or, frankly, it would have been unprecedented for the secretary of defense to kind of break ranks on something that is clearly not unprecedented in terms of what has become the standard operating procedure for administrations going back to the Korean War."

Rep. Don Bacon (R-NE), a frequent Hegseth critic, was similarly unmoved. "I'm personally not a fan of the secretary. I don't think he was the right guy in the job. But, also, when you read Massie's impeachment, I don't agree with it," he told reporters.

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Trump Reveals Brilliant New Plan To Deport Only The Illegal Immigrants Democrats Also Want Deported

President Donald Trump appeared on “60 Minutes” Sunday and casually announced that his signature mass deportation policy had gotten a little carried away, mostly by removing people who had jobs.

“I think it was too tough. I think it might be too tough, yeah. I think ultimately that hurt me,” Trump said in the interview without intimating that it was Trump who was being too tough.

He went on to describe the specific kinds of illegal immigrants he now feels bad about removing.

“I get very high marks for getting the bad ones out, but I get hurt because we also took people that had good jobs, that created one violation or breaking of the law that was that they came into the country illegally,” the president said, as he moonwalked in reverse.

“When you go into a hotel, and you have a woman that’s worked there as a maid, as a cleaner, as a this, as a that, as a waitress, a lot of good things, great jobs, and all of a sudden they’re being taken out of the country, it’s tough, it’s a tough thing,” he added, all of a sudden.

Conservatives reacted with the calm, measured tone for which they are known.

Josh Hammer, senior counsel at the Article III Project, said Trump’s comments were the “wrong conclusion from this election.”

Gee, ya think?

Fox News commentator Tomi Lahren responded with two telling words: “Come again?”

Mark Krikorian, executive director of the Center for Immigration Studies, pointed out a minor technical issue with the president’s framing.

“Whatever you think of this, there’s no such thing as people ‘that created one violation with breaking of the law, and that was that they came into the country illegally’ — all adult illegals commit multiple felonies: ID theft, ID fraud, tax fraud, Social Security fraud, perjury,” he wrote.

Political consultant Ryan Gidursky said a bipartisan deal scaling back Trump’s deportation effort “will kill the party.”

“After realizing that the Iran War hurt the party, he’s now proposing an idea that will kill the party,” he said.

Daily Wire host Matt Walsh suggested a different approach.

“There need to be more deportations, not fewer,” Walsh wrote. “The mistake was staging deportation theater with Kristi Noem out on ICE raids dressed like Tomb Raider. Don’t call so much attention to it. Don’t have government accounts on X posting spicy memes about it. Just go do it, efficiently and professionally. Is that option even being considered?”

The White House Rapid Response account quickly clarified that nobody had said the magic word.

“Wrong. The word ‘amnesty’ was never even said in this entire exchange,” the account wrote.

Florida Rep. Maria Salazar, one of the few Republicans to survive a heavily Latino district, celebrated the comments as the heart of her own immigration bill.

“Well done, Mr. President,” Salazar wrote. “Mr. President, I have said it repeatedly. YOU can bring Republicans and Democrats together to finally fix our broken immigration system. A 40-year problem. You can surpass Reagan’s legacy by delivering a historic immigration reform. This is your moment.”

Former Trump adviser Steve Cortes offered a shorter counter-proposal.

“Mr. President, when you’re pleasing Salazar, you’re losing America First,” he wrote. “Reverse course!”

Sources close to the negotiations say Democrats are open to a deal in which Trump gets to deport the “bad ones” while everyone else receives a path to citizenship, a new driver’s license, and a guest spot on The View.

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A Lesson in Indifference: The Judiciary, the Schoolroom, and the Eclipse of Common Sense

To survey the contemporary landscape of institutional life is to witness a civilization sleepwalking through its own dismantling, cheerfully dismantling standards of basic safety in the name of administrative convenience.

Consider the case of Ahmet Kerem Körkaya. 

We are invited to contemplate a mind that allegedly produced statements of such breathtaking malevolence that they defy ordinary comprehension. The words belong entirely to him, preserved in all their crude barbarity: “I’m gonna be the dirtiest f*cking doctor ever. I’m gonna poison her slowly.”

Federal prosecutors do not allege a passing indiscretion; they lay out a chilling dossier. This former medical student is accused of conspiring to transmit threats, of plotting to poison a University of Michigan regent, of fantasizing about driving his vehicle into a university president’s home, and of compiling a hit list that included an entire family. 

He allegedly traded in chatter about bombing and "going militant" as part of a wider campaign targeting university officials, the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Detroit, and local enterprises perceived to possess ties to Israel.

In a sane epoch, such a curriculum vitae would render an individual a stranger to polite society, let alone to positions of foundational trust. Yet in our era of institutional inversion, Körkaya has found a comfortable landing place. 

Today, he instructs fifth-grade mathematics and science and coaches boys’ soccer at the Salam School, a private institution administered by the Islamic Society of Milwaukee.

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Dave Chappelle Discovers New Career Low after heartless 'joke' about Charlie Kirk's Murder

As I've written before about Dave Chappelle's horrible comments during a 'comedy' set in Madison Square Garden, in which he stated how he feels better following the murder of Turning Poing USA founder Charlie Kirk, the decent people on social media didn't take it without pushing back.

Chappelle has apparently found a new subject for his comedy routine: celebrating the assassination of a conservative activist. The comedian, performing at Madison Square Garden during his "Karmageddon" tour, told a sold-out audience that he "feels better" since Charlie Kirk was murdered. The audience may have come expecting comedy, but they got a glimpse of something considerably less amusing.

Despite rules prohibiting cell phones at the Madison Square Garden show, video circulating on social media captured Chappelle making the remarks.

"I feel fu**ed up saying this. It’s scary being a public speaker. And I mean, look, ever since that guy, Charlie Kirk, got murdered, and I shouldn’t say this publicly, but, I feel better."

Chappelle apparently decided that wasn't enough, elaborating on his newfound sense of well-being.

"I know I shouldn’t say that, but it’s just a feeling. I didn’t ask to feel this way," Chappelle said. He then described his unexpected high spirits in the aftermath of Kirk's killing.

"I just be driving around like, ‘Why am I in such a good mood? Oh!'" Chappelle continued on Friday.

Turning Point USA directed Fox News Digital to Erika Kirk's statement on X, where she condemned the comedian's remarks and the broader spectacle of turning a political assassination into entertainment.

"A culture that laughs at assassination is one of profound moral decay. It threatens the very foundation of our country and the principles that hold our democracy together. You do not have to agree with someone’s politics to recognize the value of their life. This should not be so hard," she continued.

The reaction from other prominent figures was swift.

"Shame, shame, shame on Chappelle," Elon Musk posted.

Benny Johnson, host of "The Benny Show" podcast, called Chappelle's remarks "sick," while political commentator Meghan McCain asked, "What the h--- is wrong with Dave Chappelle?!"

Katie Miller, former communications director to former Vice President Mike Pence, tagged Live Nation, the entertainment giant that sold tickets for Chappelle's tour, and asked a rather pointed question:

"Is this something we agree with?"

Journalist Piers Morgan also weighed in, noting that Chappelle's comments were "especially egregious given that Chappelle himself survived an attack on stage in 2022."

That last detail deserves some attention. Chappelle knows firsthand what it means to have someone attack him while he is performing. Yet when another public figure was murdered in front of an audience, he apparently found himself in a particularly cheerful mood.

Social media users also pointed out an uncomfortable historical detail for Chappelle's defenders. Charlie Kirk had publicly supported the comedian following the 2022 attack, condemning the decision not to pursue more serious charges against his assailant.

Kirk wrote that refusing to charge the comedian's attacker sent "a clear message that public acts of political violence are justifiable." The man who attacked Chappelle was ultimately charged with four misdemeanors.

Kirk, meanwhile, was murdered at a TPUSA event at Utah Valley University in Orem on September 10, 2025.

Tyler Robinson, 23, the alleged shooter, has pleaded not guilty to all seven charges filed against him. His attorneys are seeking to block cameras from an upcoming hearing. A trial date has not yet been set.

<escape>[Image caption: Circulating video from Dave Chappelle's Madison Square Garden show captures him saying he "feels better" after the assassination of Charlie Kirk. (Photo by Arturo Holmes/Getty Images)]</escape>

Chappelle is no stranger to controversy. His edgier material has generated considerable backlash over the years, particularly his jokes about transgender people.

His 2021 Netflix special, "The Closer," sparked protests from a small group of Netflix employees who staged a walkout over his material.

But there's a distinction between offending people with comedy and publicly expressing satisfaction over the murder of another human being. Apparently, that distinction has become a little too complicated for some in the entertainment industry.

Kirk's assassination has also become material for other comedians, several of whom have discovered that jokes about a murdered conservative can generate plenty of attention.

Pete Davidson, for example, faced backlash after delivering an explicit joke about Kirk during Netflix's "The Roast of Kevin Hart" at the Kia Forum in Los Angeles.

"Tony reminds me of Charlie Kirk in that he’s definitely been on camera letting a guy unload in his throat," Davidson said during the roast.

"Saturday Night Live" "Weekend Update" co-anchor Michael Che also took a shot at Kirk's murder during his Netflix special, "Michael Che: Shot in Minnesota."

"I feel like Erika Kirk on this stage. That’s no disrespect to the Kirks, by the way," Che said.

Che also claimed he had never heard of Charlie Kirk before the activist's death, joking that he initially thought people were talking about "the dude from Star Trek."

Apparently, some comedians have decided that the assassination of a conservative activist is an inexhaustible source of material. The jokes keep coming, the applause presumably follows, and the entertainment industry continues congratulating itself on its fearless commitment to free expression.

Chappelle has every right to tell whatever jokes he wants. And audiences have every right to decide what those jokes reveal about the person telling them.

Charlie Kirk was a husband, father, and political activist who was murdered for exercising his right to speak publicly. Chappelle was once the victim of an onstage attack and received Kirk's public support afterward.

Now Chappelle is telling audiences how much happier he feels since Kirk was killed.

That's not particularly brave comedy. It's a rather revealing performance.

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Dave Chappelle Gets Laughs At MSG By Admitting Charlie Kirk's Murder Made Him Feel Better

Knowing that Chappelle smokes, makes me feel better

Apparently, some comedians have decided that celebrating the murder of a conservative political activist is now perfectly acceptable material for a night of entertainment.

Comedian Dave Chappelle took the stage at Madison Square Garden for back-to-back performances on his “Karmageddon” tour and delivered a rather revealing confession to a sold-out audience: He has been feeling better since Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk was murdered by a scummy coward with the same mindset as the "funny man."

Yes, that was the punchline. And judging by the audience's reaction, some sadistic morons in attendance found it hilarious.

“I feel fu*ked up saying this. It’s scary being a public speaker. And I mean look, ever since that guy Charlie Kirk got murdered … and I shouldn’t say this publicly but, I feel better,” Chappelle said, receiving applause and laughter from the crowd.

“I know I shouldn’t say that but, it’s just a feeling,” Chappelle continued. “I didn’t ask to feel this way. I just be driving around like, ‘why am I in such a good mood? Oh!'” [As if he's telling the truth.]

Video of Chappelle's remarks surfaced late Friday and went viral on social media Saturday night.

Charlie Kirk was shot in the neck and murdered on September 10, 2025, while doing something that apparently makes certain members of the entertainment industry uncomfortable: debating students and defending his political beliefs. The 31-year-old Turning Point USA founder was participating in his “American Comeback Tour” at Utah Valley University when the 23-year-old coward, Tyler Robinson, allegedly shot him. Robinson has been charged with Kirk's murder. Utah District Judge Tony Graf ruled in September that Robinson could face the death penalty if convicted. The evidence in the case is overwhelmingly against Robinson.

The reaction to Kirk's assassination revealed a disturbing divide in American culture. Memorials appeared around the world, professional sports organizations, including the New York Yankees, honored him with moments of silence, and heads of state and religious leaders paid tribute to his commitment to free speech and civil debate.

But there was another reaction, one that should embarrass anyone who still believes basic human decency is a universal value, which apparently not Chappelle's crowd.

Doctors, university officials, cable news personalities, and potentially hundreds of Defense Department personnel joined the chorus of people expressing satisfaction, mocking Kirk's death, or otherwise demonstrating that their tolerance for political disagreement apparently has some rather murderous limitations.

Chappelle has now joined that increasingly unattractive club of hateful cretins.

And here's where things get particularly interesting. Chappelle isn't exactly unfamiliar with the dangers of political and cultural hostility. In May 2022, he was attacked while performing at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles. The suspect rushed the stage while Chappelle was telling jokes about transgender people. Police said the attacker was armed “with a replica gun that could eject a knife blade when discharged correctly.”

One might think that someone who has personally experienced the terror of an onstage attack would understand why political violence should be condemned without qualification.

Apparently, that lesson didn't make it into the act.

Chappelle is certainly entitled to his opinions, just as Kirk was entitled to his. But there's a rather substantial difference between disagreeing with someone's politics and announcing to a cheering audience that their murder has improved your mood.

What a slime-ball!

Chappelle's remarks also arrive amid growing scrutiny of other disgusting public figures who have treated Kirk's assassination as an occasion for celebration. Over the weekend, several major companies, including Cash App, Chewy, Boll & Branch, and Lola Blankets, cut ties with Jennifer Welch's I've Had It podcast after Welch and co-host Angie Sullivan erupted into laughter over a tweet about digging up Kirk's corpse and “doing it again.”

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Apparently, corporate America is beginning to discover that celebrating political murder might not be the best public relations strategy.

Neither the New York Comedy Festival nor Live Nation, sponsors of Chappelle's Madison Square Garden performances, had publicly responded to his remarks at the time of publication.

For a comedian who has repeatedly defended his right to push boundaries, Chappelle seems remarkably comfortable mocking the ultimate violation of someone else's right to speak.

Charlie Kirk isn't around to answer him. That's precisely what makes the remarks so ugly and an intellectual act of cowardice.

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Mélenchon Unveils Plan for French Navy to Serve as Official Escort Service for Pro-Hamas Flotillas

Shahada finger, big mouth

Jean-Luc Mélenchon informed supporters at a Le Bourget rally that a government under his leadership would dispatch French naval vessels to accompany pro-Hamasshole flotillas headed for the Gaza Strip. 

The 2027 presidential candidate, hoping to score the Jew-hater vote, presented the arrangement as one element of L’Avenir en Commun, the platform of La France Insoumise, to an audience estimated at 17,000 to 20,000 people.

“French ships, like those of Italy and Spain, if necessary, will escort the flotillas of mobilized citizens,” Mélenchon said.

He devoted part of the address to Israeli Ambassador Joshua Zarka, who had observed in a June interview that he preferred almost any other outcome in the French election. “I would prefer anyone rather than Jean-Luc Mélenchon,” Zarka said. Mélenchon responded that his administration would “act head-on to help the Palestinians,” [but he really meant the terrorists]. 

Ignoring what Hamas, et al, did on October 7, 2023, and getting it butt-backwards, Mélenchon charged Israel with genocide in Gaza and with the gradual annexation of Judea and Samaria, and he objected to Israeli positions on southern Lebanon and the Golan Heights.

Zarka replied on X that evening: “It is a statement that would have done honor to one of his predecessors in the European fascist movements of the 1930s.”

He probably has a photo of Hitler on his bedroom ceiling.

The comments extended an ongoing exchange that began when Zarka described Mélenchon as dangerous for French Jews and likened the trajectory to Adolf Hitler’s ascent. Lawmakers from La France Insoumise then demanded that the French government address the remarks as interference.

Italy and Spain provided limited naval company to the Global Sumud Flotilla in September 2025 after organizers reported drone strikes, and those ships halted well before the blockade. Mélenchon offered no indication whether French vessels would be instructed to oppose any Israeli attempt at interception. The same platform also calls for sanctions on Benjamin Netanyahu’s government and an end to the EU association agreement with Israel.

French Jewish organizations have issued repeated criticisms of Mélenchon’s remarks concerning Israel and anti-Semitism. During the rally he additionally pledged higher taxes on wealthy households, an increase in the minimum wage, and France’s gradual departure from NATO. “We have no business being in NATO, nor in American wars,” he said.

Mélenchon is pursuing the presidency for a fourth time at age and IQ of 75. Current polling suggests he could advance to a runoff against Marine Le Pen while also indicating substantial obstacles to prevailing in that contest.

If France elects this scumcrumpet, they will further descend into the abyss.

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Local Podcast Heroes Convince World Unity is Achievable Through Archaeological Tomb Raiding

Welch

LOS ANGELES—In a stunning display of progressive healing, popular podcasters Jennifer ['The Face'] Welch and Angie Sullivan recently demonstrated that political discourse can transcend mere policy debates and venture directly into ancient Egyptian burial practices.

During a recent broadcast of the "I've Had It" hate-cast, the not so dynamic duo paused from discussing the intricacies of modern governance to celebrate Democratic midterm victories by reviewing social media posts that doubled as a public service announcement for grave robbers.

"Somebody posted, ‘I don’t care if you celibate or abstinent. Grab the nearest person available and do your worst. Abortion’s on me,’" Welch read, not pointing out the grammatical error of the cretin who posted it.

True to their commitment to inclusive comedy, the hosts found exceptional humor in the prospect of exhuming conservative activist Charlie Kirk.

"We're digging up Charlie Kirk and doing it again," Welch read, triggering a fresh wave of hilarity over the logistics of post-mortem political dissent.

Naturally, the laughter was balanced by high-minded political analysis. When addressing the tragic death of Kirk, who was killed during an event in Utah, the hosts provided groundbreaking forensic certainty by blaming his political opponents on themselves.

It doesn't get more disgusting and hateful than this.

Frick n' Frack

"Other than he was shot by somebody that was super MAGA," the execrable Sullivan said.

"He was shot by a MAGA person," Welch added, proving that investigative journalism is best conducted without the burden of voter registration records or facts. It turns out the shooter, Tyler Robinson, 22, was definitely not a MAGA supporter. He was registered as unaffiliated/nonpartisan and listed as an inactive voter. He had not voted in recent general elections.

Following immediate backlash from critics who apparently lack a sophisticated appreciation for corpse desecration, the hosts walked it back and issued a formal apology on Instagram, proving that nothing heals a fractured nation quite like donating advertising revenue to gun control lobbyists.

"On Thursday’s show, we laughed at a joke about Charlie Kirk. It was an insensitive joke, and we should not have laughed. We regret it, and we apologize," the statement read. "Whatever our political differences, there is nothing funny about gun violence. We’ve long supported common-sense gun safety reform."

"To that end, we’ve made a donation to Everytown for Gun Safety, the largest gun violence prevention organization in America," the statement continued. "We’ll keep using our platforms to fight for the safety of all Americans." But in reality, they're merely fighting for their jobs.

While Madison Avenue advertisers ponder whether gutter-dwelling audio broadcasts are a wise investment, the political left expressed profound gratitude for such helpful allies.

"As a Democrat, it is frustrating to watch Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan get treated like voices for the Democratic Party when so much of their own brand is railing against Democrats," said Democratic strategist Kaivan Shroff.

One can only wonder what the future of these two assclowns will be.

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Massachusetts Muslim Leader Repeatedly Calls On Allah To Kill Jews, Congregation Apparently Has No Objections

Post-digested waste

A prominent Muslim leader in Chelsea, Massachusetts, has apparently decided that the mosque pulpit is an appropriate place to ask Allah to kill Jews simply because it's in the koran, their 'holy' book.

But this was not an isolated outburst. It has reportedly become a recurring feature of his Friday hate-littered sermons.

Hassan El-Alami, board president of the Al-Huda Society, has repeatedly stood at the mosque's minbar and delivered prayers asking God to defeat “the aggressor Zionists,” “kill them, and strike them with a severe blow.” Don't be fooled--by 'Zionists' he is referring to Jews, and those who don't wish them dead.

His translated prayer leaves little room for interpretation: “O God, Revealer of the Book, Mover of the clouds, Swift in punishment, Defeater of the Confederates: defeat the aggressor Zionists, kill them, and strike them with a severe blow.”

El-Alami has reportedly delivered this prayer during Friday services on January 16, February 20, April 17, May 15, June 19, August 21, September 18, and October 16, 2026.

The original Islamic supplication invokes God's defeat of “the Confederates,” referring to the coalition that besieged Medina in 627. But the references to “the aggressor Zionists,” “kill them,” and “strike them with a severe blow” appear to be additions improvised by El-Alami. Apparently, the traditional wording needed a little updating for modern audiences, and besides, there are plenty of other anti-Semitic references in the holy koran.

Gerald McDermott, an Anglican priest, theologian, author, and academic specializing in Christian-Jewish relations, was less than impressed.

“El-Amani’s prayer is a disgrace,” McDermott said. “He’s calling on God to kill Zionists in front of audiences of men who are instructed on a regular basis that they are supposed to be instruments for God’s purposes. This is incitement, pure and simple.”

Doesn't McDermott get it? Islamic scripture is definitely not Jew-friendly. It isn't even Christian, atheist, Hindu or "not-the-correct-Islam" friendly.

The April 17 sermon was particularly revealing. Speaking in English, El-Alami recounted the story of Jews in Medina allegedly betraying Muhammad, their prophet pedophile, then connected the episode to Gaza before launching into his prayer for the deaths of Zionists.

Videos posted on YouTube show dozens of worshippers attending his sermons. Sometimes the hall is packed. On other occasions, attendance is considerably lighter. But there is one conspicuous detail in the footage reviewed: not a single person visible on camera appears to object to the repeated calls for God to kill Zionists.

Not one raised voice. Not one apparent protest. Just a congregation listening as its board president asks Allah to deliver death and destruction upon Jews because, hey, it's always the Jooooooze!

It isn't like this dirtbag is criticizing the Israeli government and their policies. No, it's anti-Semitism at the very core of their "religious" mandate. This is the essence of why Hamassholes attacked Israel on that October 7th day a few years ago. This is why no Jews live in Muslim countries. They're either dead or have wisely booked it.

El-Alami's congregation may regard these sermons as acceptable religious expression. The rest of civilized society should recognize them for what they are: an appalling display of Jew hatred being delivered from a so called house of worship.

One has to wonder what it is they actually worship.

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Iran regime's January crackdown murdered 221 children

In late December 2025, economic grievances ignited nationwide protests in the Islamic Republic of Iran that rapidly escalated into systemic demands for fundamental political change. Spreading across all 31 provinces and reaching roughly 200 cities, the demonstrations posed a profound challenge to the ruling clerical regime.

The Tehran government answered these domestic demonstrations with unbridled lethal force, mass arrests, and an immediate digital blackout to obscure its actions from the international community. According to the United Nations Independent Fact-Finding Mission on Iran, security forces—utilizing elements such as the Basij—transitioned from standard crowd-control measures to live ammunition on 8 and 9 January. Over this critical 48-hour period, state forces fired directly into crowds of demonstrators and bystanders alike, committing what has been termed a large-scale massacre.

While Iranian authorities have acknowledged a death toll exceeding 3,000, and human rights organizations have verified more than 6,000 fatalities, classified documents cited by outlets such as Iran International and subsequent assessments place the true total of those killed at approximately 40,000. Among the casualties documented by the United Nations mission were at least 221 children, including infants as young as four months old, alongside thousands of others who suffered severe wounds and amputations.

Following the initial suppression of the streets, the regime institutionalized its crackdown through the accelerated use of the death penalty. Human Rights Watch notes that at least 29 individuals arrested in connection with the protests were executed between March and August 2026, often following expedited trials characterized by coerced confessions and the systemic denial of legal representation. Dozens of additional prisoners remain under imminent sentence of death.

Despite the scale of these atrocities, international institutions and Western governments have largely sustained a disproportionate focus on traditional geopolitical flashpoints. Observers note a stark double standard: while specialized United Nations mandates target democratic states, the egregious crimes against humanity perpetrated by the regime in Tehran continue to escape commensurate diplomatic censure, formal indictment before the International Criminal Court, or dedicated investigative mechanisms commensurate with a tragedy claiming tens of thousands of lives.

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Biden's Border Policy Makes Another Unwanted Appearance Near the White House

Suspect: Ronny Yordrix Guanipa Chrinos

Washington, D.C., has no shortage of visitors, but an armed illegal immigrant allegedly showing up in a stolen car with three guns and a reported mission to assassinate President Donald Trump is a particularly disturbing addition to the capital's visitor log.

The illegal alien, a Venezuelan national, who allegedly told Secret Service officers that Spanish-speaking voices in his head had directed him to Washington to kill Trump, was arrested Thursday evening near the White House, according to the Department of Homeland Security (DHS).

U.S. Secret Service officers approached the suspect after spotting him "acting suspicious in his car while it was parked on Constitution Avenue in Washington, D.C.," DHS told Fox News.

When questioned, the suspect reportedly told officers he had heard voices instructing him to travel to the nation's capital and kill Trump. “Ve a Washington y mata al presidente Trump, por favor,” it politely commanded him.

Guns, ammo, AR-15 style rifle, Mac 10 and Glock 43X in suspect's car

Things went downhill from there, at least for the suspect. Officers discovered the vehicle had been reported stolen, and he admitted to having weapons inside. One weapon, not a boatload of weapons.

A subsequent search reportedly uncovered three firearms, including an AR-15-style rifle and two handguns, along with dozens of rounds of ammunition. Apparently, the trip to Washington involved considerably more than sightseeing.

The suspect was identified as Ronny Yordrix Guanipa Chrinos, a Venezuelan national who illegally crossed the border into Texas in March 2024. U.S. Border Patrol arrested him at the time, but he was subsequently released into the country under the Biden administration because there was a good chance he would vote blue if he voted at all.

That decision has aged about as well as gas station sushi.

Following Thursday's arrest, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) lodged a detainer against Chrinos with the U.S. Marshals Service, which currently has him in custody.

The Secret Service warned that the incident illustrates the growing threat posed by armed individuals "drawn to the White House complex."

"This is the latest example of Secret Service personnel relying on extensive training and experience to de-escalate a volatile situation that posed an imminent threat to our protectees and other Americans," U.S. Secret Service Director Sean Curran said in a statement.

"While our personnel are trained to respond to situations like this, and we remain confident in our tactics, we are alarmed by the increase in threat cases that continue to arise."

Curran added that the agency would continue to "focus on proactively investigating and identifying individuals" who raise suspicion before they make it to Washington.

DHS Secretary Markwayne Mullin also praised the Secret Service for stopping the armed suspect before anyone was hurt.

Markwayne Mullin

"This is just an example of the incredible work done by the men and women of the Secret Service every single day as they put their lives on the line to protect our nation’s leaders," Mullin said in a statement.

Chrinos faces an impressive list of charges, including carrying a rifle outside a home or business, three counts of unlawful transportation of a firearm, three counts of possessing an unregistered firearm, three counts of possessing unregistered ammunition, possession of certain dangerous weapons, carrying a pistol without a license, unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, theft and receiving stolen property, and a partridge in a pear tree. [Just checking to see if you're reading this post.]

In other words, Thursday's alleged assassination plot came with a rather extensive criminal itinerary, one might say.

Unfortunately, the incident is hardly an isolated example of bizarre and potentially dangerous activity around the nation's capital.

Just three months ago, a California resident was discovered near Capitol Hill after driving cross-country with an operational 10-foot guillotine in his pickup truck. The man was identified as Philan-Tam-Duy Le.

In two other incidents, suspects rammed vehicles into security barricades near the White House, one in March 2026 and another in October 2025.

President Trump has spent years warning about the consequences of an unsecured border. Now, the Secret Service is dealing with an alleged armed assassin who entered the country illegally, was released under Biden, and reportedly arrived in Washington after hearing voices telling him to kill the president.

The Secret Service deserves credit for stopping him. But Americans have every reason to ask how many more people with criminal intentions were given the opportunity to enter and remain in the country under the previous administration.

And now we must wonder what's going to happen after the results of the midterm elections. Go left, young man, go left. 

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