FBI evidently confronted Eric "Boom Boom" Swalwell over the weekend and hoo boy

It has been a rough stretch for former Rep. Eric "Boom Boom" Swalwell. You know, the guy who's known for the fart heard round the world.

First, the sexual misconduct claims torpedoed his time in Congress and his dreams of running California.

Then came word that he allegedly scooped up illegal donations from a suspected Chinese spy. Now the FBI has decided to stop by for a chat. 

Sources report that federal agents met Swalwell at San Francisco Airport on Saturday armed with search warrants. They confiscated his electronics, including his cell phone, as part of an ongoing federal criminal probe into the sexual misconduct allegations. Agents later used additional warrants to search his Washington residence on Sunday and carted off more potential evidence.

Swalwell began Saturday in Washington, where he still keeps a home with his wife and three kids. He flew west to California later that day, only to find the feds waiting when he got off the plane. According to sources, he played nice and cooperated.

Authorities have not said exactly what they grabbed from the D.C. house, per news outlet The Daily Mail. 

But on the not so bright side, at least four women have accused Swalwell of sexual misconduct, including a former staffer. One woman claimed he drugged and raped her in 2018. Two others said he sent them unsolicited pictures of his private parts. Incredibly, his wife stands with him for some inexplicable reason.

Swalwell has stayed mostly out of sight since quitting the California governor's race and resigning from Congress. He continues to deny any wrongdoing tied to the sexual assault and misconduct claims.

In related news, the same guy who once lectured the nation about democracy and foreign influence is now watching agents dig through his devices over claims that range from creepy texts to far more serious allegations. The Chinese spy donation story just adds a nice layer of extra flavor to an already eventful week.
 

I wonder what Fang Fang thinks.

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Former Oakland Mayor Sheng Thao's home raided by FBI and woo hoo, it's interesting

Sheng Thao is the former mayor of Oakland, California (2023–2024), the first Hmong American to lead a major U.S. city. She was narrowly elected in 2022, recalled by voters in 2024 amid crime concerns and other issues, and faces an ongoing federal bribery and corruption case with a trial scheduled for October 2026.

Background and rise to office

Thao was born in 1985 in Stockton, California, the daughter of Hmong refugees who fled Laos. She grew up in poverty, experienced domestic violence, and was homeless for a time in her early 20s (including living in her car with her infant son). She later earned degrees from Merritt College and UC Berkeley.

She worked as a staffer for Oakland City Council member Rebecca Kaplan, then won election to the Oakland City Council (District 4) in 2018—the first Hmong American on the council. She served as president pro tem. In November 2022, she narrowly defeated fellow councilmember Loren Taylor in a ranked-choice mayoral race (by roughly 682 votes) and took office in January 2023 as Oakland’s 51st mayor. She emphasized addressing crime, homelessness, and affordable housing, with goals including building tens of thousands of new housing units.

Mayoral tenure and recall

Her time in office was turbulent. Early on, she fired Police Chief LeRonne Armstrong. The city faced ongoing challenges with crime, business closures, homelessness, and budget issues (including deficits). Crime later declined in some metrics, and she pointed to efforts on housing, violence prevention (including a ceasefire strategy), 911 improvements, and other initiatives.

A recall campaign gained traction, driven by frustration over public safety and questions about her leadership. The Oakland police union called for her resignation. On November 5, 2024, voters approved the recall with about 60.6% in favor—the first successful mayoral recall in Oakland history. She left office in mid-December 2024 after results were certified.

Federal investigation and charges

In June 2024 (shortly after the recall petition was certified), the FBI raided Thao’s home as part of a corruption probe. In January 2025, a federal grand jury indicted her, her longtime partner Andre Jones, and father-son businessmen David and Andy Duong (associated with California Waste Solutions, Oakland’s recycling contractor, and related housing ventures such as Evolutionary Homes).

Prosecutors describe an alleged “pay-to-play” scheme. They claim that around the 2022 election and afterward, the Duongs provided campaign support (including financing roughly $75,000 in negative mailers against Thao’s opponents) and payments to Jones for a “no-show” job (about $95,000 of a promised larger amount), in exchange for Thao using her influence to help their businesses—such as with recycling contracts, city purchases of modular/container housing, favorable appointments, and other favors. Additional allegations in court filings have included claims of sharing sensitive information, creating fake employment records, and other actions.

All four defendants pleaded not guilty. Related figures, including political operative Mario Juarez (a key alleged participant/informant) and former San Leandro Councilmember Bryan Azevedo, have pleaded guilty in connected matters and are expected to be witnesses. Prosecutors have listed dozens of potential witnesses (including city staff, officials, and others).

Recent developments (as of August 2026)

The case remains active with a jury trial set to begin around October 19, 2026 (jury selection earlier that month). On August 14, 2026, Thao appeared in federal court in Oakland for a pretrial motions hearing. New court records include allegations that she pressured the Duongs to pay about $10,000 to a reporter’s associate to suppress a potential story about alleged drug use and sexual conduct during a 2023 Vietnam trip funded by California Waste Solutions. Prosecutors also reference claims involving secret recordings or materials of politicians held by one of the businessmen. Defense teams have sought to exclude various evidence; the judge is reviewing those issues.

Thao has maintained her innocence through counsel. The case is being closely watched in the Bay Area as it involves local politics, city contracts, and allegations of influence-peddling.

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Socialist Candidate Reportedly Finds Love Right Where Democrats Always Said You'd Meet Mr. Right: Outside ICE Facility With Lawyer For Al Qaeda Terrorists

In what political strategists are already calling the Democratic Party's hottest new networking event, presumptive Democratic congressional candidate and Zohran Mamdani-backed socialist Darializa Avila Chevalier has confirmed she's dating Ramzi Kassem, the attorney best known for defending al Qaeda terrorists. Apparently Cupid has updated his résumé and now specializes in progressive legal circles.

Chevalier confirmed the romance in a statement to City & State.

"Ramzi Kassem and I met outside an ICE detention facility, both working to free someone unjustly held," she said. "Over the years, as we collaborated on different projects, our professional acquaintance became a friendship, which grew into a romantic relationship. I'm deeply grateful for such a loving, supportive partner – he's been a refuge these past few years."

Nothing says "modern romance" quite like meeting during an effort to oppose immigration enforcement. Hallmark reportedly has several scripts in development.

According to City & State, the couple officially got together in 2023 after Kassem assisted Chevalier with a graduate research paper analyzing "the racism and Islamophobia of a Customs & Border Protection anti-terror unit." Because if there's one thing guaranteed to bring two hearts together, it's critiquing the people trying to stop terrorists while dating the lawyer representing them.

Mamdani appointed Kassem as his chief legal counsel in January. Before becoming one of New York City's rising socialist insiders, Kassem built a career representing several Guantanamo Bay detainees, including Ahmed al-Darbi, who was convicted for the bombing of a French oil tanker, and Shaker Aamer, described as a "close associate of Osama bin Laden" who fought alongside al Qaeda during the Battle of Tora Bora.

Democrats once insisted six degrees of separation was enough to destroy a Republican career. Apparently, direct professional association now qualifies as diversity.

The ideological overlap hardly ends there. Both Kassem and Chevalier immersed themselves in anti-Israel activism during their years connected to Columbia University.

Kassem previously campaigned to rename an "Israeli wrap" in a campus dining hall because he argued the name was offensive to Muslims. Somewhere, the sandwich has likely entered a witness protection program.

Chevalier co-founded Columbia University Apartheid Divest, the militant student organization that openly supports Hamas's "armed resistance" and famously declared "Death to America" after the United States launched military operations against Iran. Kassem later defended Syrian-born Columbia activist Mahmoud Khalil after the Trump administration revoked his green card, proving once again that progressive legal work increasingly resembles a casting call for people who dislike America.

Political observers also noted that Chevalier's relationship with Kassem predates her congressional campaign, placing her squarely inside Mamdani's political orbit before securing his endorsement. City & State reported that Mamdani "has been aware of their relationship for some time" and even discussed Chevalier's campaign with Kassem before endorsing her.

Veteran Democrats might recognize the strategy. Kamala Harris famously dated California power broker Willie Brown before launching her own political career. The old saying is that it's not what you know, but who you know. In today's Democratic Party, it's apparently also who you're dating.

Republicans, meanwhile, are expected to continue making the rookie mistake of submitting résumés instead of relationship applications.

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California's Political Family Reunion Interrupted After FBI Reveals Someone Actually Wore A Wire: OMG!

There are few things more sacred in California politics than the unshakable belief that everyone in the room is on the same team. Apparently, that confidence took a slight detour when one of the Democrats brought recording equipment instead of campaign talking points.

Attorney McGregor Scott, representing former California chief of staff Dana Williamson, says Democratic political operative Alexis Podesta had been quietly cooperating with federal investigators since at least June 2024. Somewhere in Sacramento, every politician who ever uttered the phrase "this stays between us" is suddenly remembering every lunch meeting they've had for the last two years.

As Scott bluntly put it, “Alexis wore a wire, and Dana did not.”

That single sentence probably produced more panic in California's political class than a surprise audit from the IRS.

Williamson pleaded guilty in May to conspiracy to commit bank and wire fraud, filing a false tax return, and making false statements to the FBI. Prosecutors allege she helped divert roughly $225,000 from a dormant campaign account belonging to former Xavier Becerra. According to prosecutors, the money was disguised as consulting payments while benefiting Becerra's former chief of staff, Sean McCluskie.

The scheme has all the familiar ingredients of modern political consulting. Money leaves one account, appears in another, everyone calls it "consulting," and nobody can quite remember who actually consulted on anything.

The revelation also explains a mystery that had been puzzling Sacramento insiders for months. Last fall, lobbyists and political figures began receiving FBI letters informing them that some of their phone calls had been intercepted.

Republican Assembly member Josh Hoover was among them.

“A lot of people received letters essentially informing us that there were certain periods of time where the FBI was given access to follow phone calls,” Hoover said.

“I don’t know how these investigations work, but it sounds like they cast a pretty broad net across the Capitol community to see what they could find.”

Translation: when Washington says it's only a "limited inquiry," buy extra coffee because everyone is about to have a very stressful week.

Another Sacramento insider reportedly received one of those letters despite never having met Williamson.

“Dude, I got this f—ing letter. I never even met with Dana Williamson!”

“Their curiosity was that they never even met with Dana Williamson, so they were wondering what this is all about,” another source explained. “And now you have the answer.”

Nothing says "healthy political ecosystem" quite like discovering that your innocent phone call about lunch reservations has been preserved forever in an FBI evidence locker.

The investigation has now grown beyond Williamson. Last month, Governor Gavin Newsom announced that he, his wife Jennifer Siebel Newsom, and members of his inner circle were themselves under federal investigation.

Newsom immediately shifted into his favorite role: the misunderstood hero battling the forces of evil.

“Just in the last week, I’ve learned his campaign has reached my own home: to get me, he’s coming after my wife, Jen. A public servant. A woman who has dedicated her life to supporting women and girls. Someone who has done nothing wrong, other than having the temerity to advocate for what she believes in. If they can’t intimidate me, they’ll go after the mother of our children,” Newsom said.

He continued with characteristic theatrical flair.

"Donald Trump picked the wrong target. We have nothing to hide. His political operatives can take every record and read every page. But they’ll be looking in the wrong place. Because if they really want to find corruption, look no further than 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue," he added.

That is one strategy. Another might be waiting to see what investigators actually uncover before delivering the closing argument.

According to a source familiar with the matter who spoke to Semafor's Shelby Talcott, there are "several investigations" involving Newsom. The inquiries reportedly focus on his wife's taxes and his chief of staff. They also reportedly originated out of Sacramento rather than DOJ headquarters and involve whistleblowers.

Newsom, never one to let an investigation interrupt a campaign speech, declared himself part of President Trump's "hit list" while accusing Trump of "selling the presidency" through golf courses, private jets, cryptocurrency, and his sons' overseas business ventures.

“You can subpoena my records. You can investigate me. You can harass me,” Newsom added. “Put my name on every and any enemies list you have, but leave my wife and family out of your personal vendetta.”

It is a familiar script. When questions arise, the story quickly shifts from "What happened?" to "Why are you asking?" It is a bit like being caught with your hand in the cookie jar and insisting the real scandal is the invasion of your privacy.

The irony, of course, is delicious. California's political establishment spent years assuring Americans that only conspiracy theorists imagined corruption lurking behind the polished press conferences and carefully curated Instagram posts. Now it turns out someone actually was wearing a wire.

The Babylon Bee could hardly improve upon the premise: an entire political machine built on carefully managed narratives discovers that the microphone wasn't just for campaign speeches after all. Sometimes reality writes satire all by itself.

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‘Sleazebag’ Dad Caucus founder Rep. Jimmy Gomez admits to cheating on wife after Post exposé

WASHINGTON — Congressional Dads Caucus founder Rep. Jimmy Gomez (D-CA) finally fessed up Tuesday that he cheated on his wife, right after The NY Post dropped the April bombshell that he was caught playing tonsil hockey with a congressional aide outside a DC party. 

We don't know if he scored.

The Post’s report lit the fuse on a House Ethics Committee investigation that dug up all kinds of gross new details, absolutely torching Gomez’s painstakingly polished image as America’s most devoted family man.

“Years ago, I made personal mistakes outside my marriage that have caused real pain to my wife and family,” Gomez told CNN, describing the extramarital relations as “consensual.”

“I sincerely apologize to my wife, family, friends and the people that I have the privilege to serve,” said Gomez after he was caught, who in January 2023 wore his baby son in a sling around his neck during marathon votes for House speaker like the world’s most committed dad influencer.

“I sought professional assistance to help re-center and heal the relationships that mean everything to me, and move forward with the honesty, transparency, and respect that everyone deserves from the people they love. I continue to do this work.”

The Los Angeles Democrat was spotted making out with a much younger congressional aide for a different lawmaker outside the home of then-Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA), The Post revealed in April.

Gomez, who is married, was making out with the aide at Swalwell’s bash to celebrate the start of that year’s August recess. Attendees did not recall seeing his wife or 11-month-old son anywhere in the vicinity. Shocking.

Swalwell, the man known for "the fart heard round the world," resigned in disgrace following a series of sexual misconduct allegations against him earlier this year. Birds of a feather and all that.

“This guy [Gomez] is a sleaze-bag. He should resign and use his free time to trade war stories with Swalwell,” said one Democratic source familiar with the matter.

“Hopefully he doesn’t hook up with another chief of staff at Eric Swalwell’s house. One is too many.”

Gomez and the younger Hill staffer were seen kissing by a stunned group of Democratic congressional aides, two of whom recounted their surprise to The Post. A third source heard of Gomez’s alleged relationship with the woman from additional Democratic sources.

The Post did not initially publish the name of the woman involved.

Gomez, a close Swalwell friend, strongly denied The Post’s reporting in April and his confession did not specify particular wrongdoing. How convenient.

A spokesman did not immediately offer comment on whether he was confessing to the relationship reported by The Post — after his blanket denials.

Gomez, who represents a heavily Democratic district in Los Angeles, also gave no indication that he planned to resign. Of course he didn’t.

“Although my actions were consensual in nature and haven’t violated the law or House ethics rules, that doesn’t diminish the impact that these mistakes have made on those I care about the most,” Gomez said in his statement.

“I take full responsibility and have committed myself to working through the pain privately with my wife and family.”

Sure, Jimmy. Keep that Dads Caucus membership card warm.

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NBC News sides with Chinese agent, worried her arrest would cause racial backlash

Well, this headline from NBC News proves that the brain rot on our college campuses seeps into the workplace—you already knew that. You saw glimpses of it at The New York Times when they forced Bari Weiss, a liberal by the way, out of her job over her pro-Israel and free speech stances. 

When an elected official is busted for being a foreign agent, that’s a problem. It’s a story. What’s not a story is the speculation that some racial backlash could happen. Alas, that’s what the outlet found to be the most pressing matter (via NBC News):

The resignation of a Southern California mayor who pleaded guilty to acting as a foreign agent for China has sparked backlash and reignited fears of anti-Asian discrimination.

Earlier this week, Eileen Wang, 58, admitted to federal law enforcement that she “secretly served the interests of the Chinese government,” according to the FBI. She agreed to plead guilty to a single count of acting as an illegal agent of a foreign government and resigned as mayor of Arcadia, a predominantly Asian city in the San Gabriel Valley east of Los Angeles.

Political figures including Bernadette Breslin, a spokesperson for the National Republican Senatorial Committee, said the indictment was another example of Chinese-led plans to weaken the United States from within.

But racist comments began to appear on social media feeds soon after FBI Director Kash Patel announced on X the case against Wang. Many replies to Patel’s post announcing the charges suggested investigating other prominent Asian American women political figures. Others suggested violent punishment for her.

Advocates said they are concerned that this rhetoric is part of a long history of fear and discrimination that has proliferated for generations in regard to Asian communities, especially Chinese immigrants. Experts who spoke to NBC News said Asian people in the U.S. are often treated as perpetual outsiders, which can motivate violence in some cases.

It seems that those perpetrating acts of political violence are anti-Trump leftists, but it obviously goes against the narrative.

Brain Flushings tried to reach Eric Swalwell for his take on the situation, but he was indisposed with someone who goes by the name Fang Fang--just kidding, sort of.

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Arcadia Mayor Caught Red-Handed As Chinese Spy, Immediately Claims "It Was Just A Personal Thing With My Fiancé"

Arcadia Mayor Eileen Wang reached a federal plea agreement after being accused of acting as an unregistered foreign agent for China, promoting the country’s propaganda.

Wang admitted to posting Chinese government-directed content, including articles denying Uyghur persecution in Xinjiang. Because nothing says "dedicated public servant" like copy-pasting Beijing's greatest hits while wearing the mayoral sash.

Wang, who is a Democrat, naturally, served as mayor of the San Gabriel Valley suburb, entered into a plea agreement with prosecutors over charges that she acted under the control of the People’s Republic of China to promote propaganda in the U.S. between 2020 and 2022, according to court filings.

She was previously elected to the City Council in November 2022, stepped down as mayor on Monday hours after the plea agreement was unsealed. Arcadia officials and Wang’s attorneys said the conduct described by federal authorities occurred before Wang was elected, making her a pre-elected spy, of sorts. Just a harmless little hobby, they insist. Like scrapbooking, but with espionage and genocide denial.

Wang appeared in federal court in downtown Los Angeles during a brief hearing Monday, where a judge instructed her lawyers to set a date when she would formally enter a guilty plea.

The maximum sentence for the charge is only 10 years in prison.

Dressed in a blue suit jacket and skirt and accompanied by four lawyers, Wang listened to the proceeding through a Mandarin interpreter, because as a mayor of a California town, speaking English is evidently not disqualifying. 

She sniffled throughout the hearing, wiping at her eyes and her nose drippings with her hand and a tissue.

The magistrate judge ordered a $25,000 bond and for her to surrender all of her passports and travel documents. Assistant U.S. Attorney Amanda B. Elbogen asked that the judge order Wang to refrain from any communication with the Chinese government, including consular officials in the U.S.

“Individuals in our country who covertly do the bidding of foreign governments undermine our democracy,” said First Assistant U.S. Attorney Bill Essayli in a statement Monday. “This plea agreement is the latest success in our determination to defend the homeland against China’s efforts to corrupt our institutions.”

In a statement, Wang’s attorneys, Brian A. Sun and Jason Liang, said “she apologizes and is sorry for the mistakes she has made in her personal life,” as if working as an agent for our enemy is a 'mistake,' a simple 'oopsie.'

“Her love and devotion for the Arcadia community have not changed and did not waver. She asks for the community’s understanding and continued support,” her attorneys said. 

The city of Arcadia’s website said Wang was “vacating her position” [aka quitting] and the process of selecting someone to step in as mayor would begin at the next City Council meeting.

“We understand this news raises serious concerns, and we want to be direct with our community about what we know and where we stand,” City Manager Dominic Lazzaretto said in a statement. “The allegations at the center of this case, that a foreign government sought to exert influence over a local elected official, are deeply troubling. We take them seriously.”

From late 2020 through at least 2022, Wang worked with Yaoning “Mike” Sun, her former fiancé, to run a website called U.S. News Center that branded itself as a news source for Chinese Americans, according to the plea agreement unsealed Monday. Both Wang and Sun “executed directives” from Chinese government officials, posting requested articles and reporting back with screenshots showing how many people viewed the stories, the agreement says.

On June 10, 2021, the agreement says, Wang received a message from a government official about “China’s Stance on the Xinjiang Issue,” which included a link to a letter to the editor in the Los Angeles Times from the consul general of the People’s Republic of China in Los Angeles. The consul general had been responding to a Times editorial supporting a boycott of products made with cotton produced in the Xinjiang region of China.

At the time, news reports were highlighting the Chinese government‘s campaign of incarceration, persecution and “reeducation” of Uyghurs in the Xinjiang province.

“There is no genocide in Xinjiang; there is no such thing as ‘forced labor’ in any production activity, including cotton production. Spreading such rumor is to defame China, destroy Xinjiang’s safety and stability,” read the message from the Chinese government official, according to the plea agreement.

Minutes after receiving the link, Wang posted the article on her website and responded to the Chinese government official with a link to the article on her website, according to the court filing.“So fast, thank you everyone,” the government official responded, the court records show.

Prosecutors also say Wang edited articles at the request of officials and shared information showing the reach of the posts.

“Thank you leader,” she wrote on Aug. 20, 2021, after being complimented for a post that was viewed more than 15,000 times, according to the plea agreement.

Wang never disclosed that the Chinese government had directed her to post the content, according to court documents.

Wang’s attorneys stressed in their statement “that the conduct underlying the information and the agreement with the government relates solely to Ms. Wang’s personal life — i.e., a media platform that she once operated with someone whom she believed to be her fiancé — and not to her conduct as an elected public official.”

Prosecutors charged Sun, a resident of Chino Hills, in December 2024 with conspiracy and acting as an illegal agent of a foreign government. Wang said her relationship with Sun ended in the spring of 2024.

Sun had also served as campaign manager for her City Council campaign to lead Arcadia, a landing spot for many Chinese and Taiwanese immigrants. Prosecutors accused Sun and his Chinese government contacts of cultivating Wang in hopes that she would rise in politics and help them strengthen China’s influence in California.

“We broke up the fiancé relationship,” Wang told the City Council after he was charged. “We keep the friendship.”

Sun was sentenced in February to four years in federal prison after pleading guilty in October 2025 to one count of acting as an illegal agent of a foreign government.

Sun worked as an illegal agent for the People’s Republic of China, submitting reports to high-level government officials about work he was doing on the government’s behalf, according to a federal sentencing memorandum. This activity included combating Falun Gong, a spiritual practice banned in China, and supporters of Taiwanese independence. Sun also was accused of monitoring the then-president of Taiwan during her April 2023 trip to the U.S.

Facing calls for her resignation on the heels of her former fiancé’s indictment, Wang vowed at the time not to step away from the council, emphasizing that she was “not responsible for the action of others.”

Wang said in a 2024 interview that she moved to Southern California from China 30 years ago. Her mother was a Chinese medicine and acupuncture doctor and her father was a physician in Sichuan province before working at USC, she said.

Wang appeared as usual at last week’s city council meeting, shepherding along discussions on street paving, the upcoming budget and a potential e-bike ordinance. Lazzaretto, the city manager, said in his statement that the city has conducted an internal review related to the charges and found no wrongdoing.

“We can confirm that no City finances, staff, or decision-making processes were involved,” Lazzaretto said in a statement. “We have found no actions that require reconsideration or that are invalidated as a result of these developments.”

In other news, sources confirm the "personal life" defense is now being workshopped by every CCP asset currently holding elected office in California.

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Gender dysphoric male, AB Hernandez dominates females in 3 jumping events at Calif. postseason track meet

Male in disguise

YORBA LINDA, Calif. — In a stunning display of biological supremacy that shocked absolutely no one with a functioning grasp of reality, a California high school track meet opened Saturday with a "Save Girls’ Sports" rally and concluded exactly as physics demanded: a dude absolutely vaporizing the female competition in the jumping events.

The CIF Southern Section Division 3 preliminaries in Yorba Linda kicked off with protesters outside the gates bravely pointing out that boys aren’t girls, a controversial take in the Golden State. Inside the stadium, however, AB Hernandez, a male senior from Jurupa Valley who previously dabbled in girls’ volleyball, once again reminded everyone why men’s sports and women’s sports used to be separate categories.

Hernandez, competing in the girls’ division per California’s “be whatever you feel like today” policy, dominated the long jump, triple jump, and tied for first in the high jump. His long jump of 20 feet, 4¼ inches left the next closest actual girl more than a foot behind, because apparently “inclusion” now means “leave the girls in the dust, literally.”

In the triple jump, Hernandez launched a 42-foot-4-inch leap that made the silver and bronze finishers look like they were hopping over puddles. Sources confirmed the gap was large enough to drive a semi-truck labeled “Title IX Violations” through.

One grandparent attending to cheer on Moorpark High summed up the mood of the evening: “It happened last year and I thought it’d be done, but it’s California.” He then reportedly shrugged so hard his shoulders filed for workers’ comp.

Another parent from Yucca Valley offered the enlightened progressive solution: “I think they should have their own division. I just don’t like bullying one kid.” When asked to clarify which kid was being bullied, he gestured vaguely toward the entire girls’ team currently staring at Hernandez’s spike marks in the sand pit.

Adding a delicious layer of satire to the proceedings, Hernandez tied for first in the high jump with Reese Hogan, the same athlete who previously made headlines by dramatically claiming the top podium spot after Hernandez won an earlier event. This time? A wholesome tie. Everyone clapped. Several biological females in the stands were heard quietly calculating how many scholarships just evaporated.

Outside, former NCAA athlete Sophia Lorey led the “Save Girls’ Sports” rally, because apparently it now takes protests just to maintain the radical notion that women should be allowed to win women’s sports.

As of press time, California officials were reportedly still defending the policy while Governor Gavin Newsom’s office bravely announced that he was “not personally named in the DOJ lawsuit,” which is exactly what you want from your state leadership when teenage girls are getting their dreams long-jumped into oblivion.

The results board, meanwhile, continues to commit hate crimes by displaying objective measurements.

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CBP busts 28 in huge child pornography operation aboard 8 cruise ships, including Disney vessel

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers decided to crash the party on eight cruise ships docked in San Diego, California last month, including one of Disney’s floating cash machines, and hauled off 28 people in a serious child sexual exploitation material investigation. 

Sounds Goofy to me, Mickey.

Federal agents boarded the vessels between April 23rd and 27th, a spokesperson for the agency told TMZ.

“After boarding the vessels and interviewing 26 suspected crew scumcrumpets from the Philippines, one suspected crew member from Portugal, and one from Indonesia, officers confirmed all individuals were involved in either the receipt, possession, transportation, distribution, or viewing of CSEM or child pornography,” a CBP spokesperson told the California Post.

The official added that the offenders’ visas were then canceled and that they were being removed from the United States.

Disney, in its usual corporate damage-control mode, wouldn’t say exactly how many of the pervs were on their payroll. The Mouse House did claim that most of the arrests did not involve staffers from its ship.

“We have a zero-tolerance policy for this type of behavior and fully cooperated with law enforcement,” a Disney spokesperson told the New York Post. “While the majority of these individuals were not from our cruise line, those who were are no longer with the company.”

The Disney cruise had just returned from a five-day voyage that included stops at Catalina Island and Ensenada in Baja California, Mexico.

Video footage hit the internet this week showing immigration enforcement officers nabbing Disney employees right at the San Diego International Airport after the Disney Magic docked. This naturally sent the usual anti-ICE crowd into full meltdown mode.

One vacationer, Dharmi Mehta, caught video of a man she said was her server getting detained.“He was full in uniform, which was in a blazer, tie. Some of the other employees were still in their chef’s uniforms with their name tags on it,” Mehta said during a press conference on Tuesday.

Before anyone knew what the arrests were actually about, the usual immigration rights groups were already screaming bloody murder. Even after the child exploitation details came out, plenty of advocates still insisted these clowns deserved full U.S. criminal prosecutions instead of a quick ride out of the country. Priorities, folks.

The Port of San Diego made it clear their local cops stayed far away from the whole thing.“The Port of San Diego Harbor Police Department did not have any involvement in the reported enforcement actions on April 23rd or April 25th at the B Street Cruise Terminal,” a spokesperson for the port told NBC San Diego, emphasizing that Harbor Police does not enforce federal immigration law.

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We Have Allen's Manifesto

Unless you've been living in a hermetically-sealed room on the moon, or perhaps Somalia, you are probably aware that the White House Correspondence Dinner (WHCD) was disrupted by a man named Cole Allen, a 31-year-old man from Torrence, California when he attempted to breach security and shoot people, most likely President Trump, and others in his administration. Fortunately, he was stopped after shooting a Secret Service agent in his tactical vest. 

Allen was tackled and taken into custody. Both he and the agent were taken to the hospital for non-life- threatening injuries.

While the motive is being sold to us as unknown, Allen apparently attended a "No Kings" rally and later admitted to targeting President Trump, his lovely wife Melania, Vice President JD Vance, and other top officials and congressional folks who attended the dinner.

Like all good psychopaths, Allen wrote a manifesto and we have a copy (via NY Post):

Hello everybody!

So I may have given a lot of people a surprise today. Let me start off by apologizing to everyone whose trust I abused.

I apologize to my parents for saying I had an interview without specifying it was for “Most Wanted.”

I apologize to my colleagues and students for saying I had a personal emergency (by the time anyone reads this, I probably most certainly DO need to go to the ER, but can hardly call that not a self-inflicted status.)

I apologize to all of the people I traveled next to, all the workers who handled my luggage, and all the other non-targeted people at the hotel who I put in danger simply by being near.

I apologize to everyone who was abused and/or murdered before this, to all those who suffered before I was able to attempt this, to all who may still suffer after, regardless of my success or failure.

I don’t expect forgiveness, but if I could have seen any other way to get this close, I would have taken it. Again, my sincere apologies.

On to why I did any of this:

I am a citizen of the United States of America.

What my representatives do reflects on me.

And I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes.

(Well, to be completely honest, I was no longer willing a long time ago, but this is the first real opportunity I’ve had to do something about it.)

While I’m discussing this, I’ll also go over my expected rules of engagement (probably in a terrible format, but I’m not military so too bad.)

Administration officials (not including Mr. Patel): they are targets, prioritized from highest-ranking to lowest

Secret Service: they are targets only if necessary, and to be incapacitated non-lethally if possible (aka, I hope they’re wearing body armor because center mass with shotguns messes up people who *aren’t*

Hotel Security: not targets if at all possible (aka unless they shoot at me)

Capitol Police: same as Hotel Security

National Guard: same as Hotel Security

Hotel Employees: not targets at all

Guests: not targets at all

In order to minimize casualties I will also be using buckshot rather than slugs (less penetration through walls)

I would still go through most everyone here to get to the targets if it were absolutely necessary (on the basis that most people *chose* to attend a speech by a pedophile, rapist, and traitor, and are thus complicit) but I really hope it doesn’t come to that.

Rebuttals to objections:

Objection 1: As a Christian, you should turn the other cheek.

Rebuttal: Turning the other cheek is for when you yourself are oppressed. I’m not the person raped in a detention camp. I’m not the fisherman executed without trial. I’m not a schoolkid blown up or a child starved or a teenage girl abused by the many criminals in this administration.

Turning the other cheek when *someone else* is oppressed is not Christian behavior; it is complicity in the oppressor’s crimes.

Objection 2: This is not a convenient time for you to do this.

Rebuttal: I need whoever thinks this way to take a couple minutes and realize that the world isn’t about them. Do you think that when I see someone raped or murdered or abused, I should walk on by because it would be “inconvenient” for people who aren’t the victim?

This was the best timing and chance of success I could come up with.

Objection 3: You didn’t get them all.

Rebuttal: Gotta start somewhere.

Objection 4: As a half-black, half-white person, you shouldn’t be the one doing this.

Rebuttal: I don’t see anyone else picking up the slack

Objection 5: Yield unto Caesar what is Caesar’s.

Rebuttal: The United States of America are ruled by the law, not by any one or several people. In so far as representatives and judges do not follow the law, no one is required to yield them anything so unlawfully ordered.

I would also like to extend my appreciation to a great many people since I will not be likely to be able to talk with them again (unless the Secret Service is *astoundingly* incompetent.)

Thank you to my family, both personal and church, for your love over these 31 years.

Thank you to my friends, for your companionship over many years.

Thank you to my colleagues over many jobs, for your positivity and professionalism.

Thank you to my students for your enthusiasm and love of learning.

Thank you to the many acquaintances I’ve met, in person and online, for short interactions and long-term relationships, for your perspectives and inspiration.

Thank you all for everything.

Sincerely,

Cole “coldForce” “Friendly Federal Assassin” Allen

PS: Ok now that all the sappy stuff is done, what the hell is the Secret Service doing? Sorry, gonna rant a bit here and drop the formal tone.

Like, I expected security cameras at every bend, bugged hotel rooms, armed agents every 10 feet, metal detectors out the wazoo.

What I got (who knows, maybe they’re pranking me!) is nothing.

No damn security.

Not in transport.

Not in the hotel.

Not in the event.

Like, the one thing that I immediately noticed walking into the hotel is the sense of arrogance.

I walk in with multiple weapons and not a single person there considers the possibility that I could be a threat.

The security at the event is all outside, focused on protestors and current arrivals, because apparently no one thought about what happens if someone checks in the day before.

Like, this level of incompetence is insane, and I very sincerely hope it’s corrected by the time this country gets actually competent leadership again.

Like, if I was an Iranian agent, instead of an American citizen, I could have brought a damn Ma Deuce in here and no one would have noticed shit.

Actually insane.

Oh and if anyone is curious is how doing something like feels: it’s awful. I want to throw up; I want to cry for all the things I wanted to do and never will, for all the people whose trust this betrays; I experience rage thinking about everything this administration has done.

Can’t really recommend it! Stay in school, kids.

It appears that Cole Allen is a mentally ill, narcissist whose fifteen minutes of fame should land him life in the slammer. What a schmuck.

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White House Correspondents' Dinner.shooter had a manifesto

In a conversation with Fox News' Maria Bartiromo, President Trump praised the "unified" response of guests and law enforcement after a gunman opened fire at the Washington Hilton, injuring a Secret Service agent and forcing the evacuation of the entire Cabinet during the White House Correspondents' Dinner.

The suspect in the White House Correspondents’ Dinner shooting told law enforcement after his arrest Saturday night that he intended to target Trump administration officials, senior federal law enforcement sources confirmed to Fox News.

Authorities identified the suspect as 31-year-old scumwafer Cole Allen, of Torrance, Calif. He prepared a manifesto outlining his intent and shared anti-Trump and anti-Christian rhetoric on social media. As the dinner was underway, Allen allegedly rushed a Secret Service checkpoint at the Washington Hilton while armed with multiple weapons and opened fire, striking a Secret Service officer in his ballistic vest. 

Agents returned fire and tackled the shooter to the ground. The suspect and the injured officer were transported to a hospital. The Secret Service agent is expected to recover and the Democrats are expected to find a way to blame Trump.

This incident adds to a growing list of threats against President Donald Trump, including two confirmed assassination attempts and a recent incident involving an armed intruder at Mar-a-Lago.

Overnight, the FBI and local law enforcement secured Allen’s home in Torrance, California. A federal judge in the Central District of California is expected to approve a search warrant, which would allow investigators to search the residence.

The White House said Sunday that Allen’s brother contacted the New London Police Department in Connecticut prior to the shooting. He reported that Allen had sent family members an alleged manifesto outlining his intent to target administration officials.

Officials also said Allen’s social media included anti-Trump and anti-Christian rhetoric. President Trump, speaking on Fox News’ "The Sunday Briefing," described Allen as "a very troubled guy," citing the manifesto. He said that if the White House had the ballroom he wanted, this would have never happened. 

He's probably right.

Allen’s sister, Avriana Allen, told investigators in Rockville, Maryland, that her brother had made increasingly radical statements and often spoke about doing "something" to address issues in the world.

She said he had purchased two handguns and a shotgun, which he stored at their parents’ home without their knowledge, and that he regularly trained at a shooting range.

She also told authorities that Allen was affiliated with a group called "The Wide Awakes" and had attended a "No Kings" protest in California, indicating that in all likelihood, he is a dedicated Democrat.

Investigators believe Allen traveled from Los Angeles to Washington, D.C., by train, with a stop in Chicago, according to acting U.S. Attorney General Todd Blanche. He said the investigation is ongoing and that more details are expected as formal charges are filed.

Blanche also noted that while the motive remains under investigation, authorities preliminarily believe Allen was targeting administration officials.

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Comrade Bernie Sanders-backed group just endorsed a billionaire in governor's race

Millionaire Comrade Bernie and his bad breath

Well, here’s a twist you almost have to admire for its sheer lack of self-awareness. Sen. Bernie Sanders (Communist-VT) used to attack millionaires and billionaires, but now that he has become a millionaire, it's only the billionaires now that he goes after. Hypocrisy much?

Billionaire California gubernatorial candidate Tom Steyer has just landed the endorsement of Our Revolution, a group tied to Bernie Sanders that has made a name for itself railing against… billionaires.

Yes, really.

To their credit, the group didn’t try to dodge the obvious contradiction. They leaned into it, acknowledging Steyer’s billionaire status in a press release while insisting that “it matters what he is doing with that power: pushing for taxes on the wealthy, expanding universal programs, and dismantling corporate influence in our politics.”

So, the problem isn’t billionaires; it’s the wrong billionaires. 

“Tom Steyer understands that California’s affordability crisis is not inevitable, it’s the result of a political system shaped by concentrated wealth and corporate power at the expense of working people,” said Our Revolution Executive Director Joseph Geevarghese.

“At a moment when too many defend the status quo, Tom has taken a different path, challenging the very system that benefits people like him,” he added.

And if you’re keeping score at home, the group even noted on X that this is the first time they’ve endorsed a billionaire for public office. Historic stuff.

Steyer, for his part, was more than happy to accept the nod, saying he’s “honored” and promising that “as Governor, [he’ll] work tirelessly to realize our shared vision of a California that works for working people.”

Meanwhile, Our Revolution’s own website still proudly calls for efforts to “Defund Oligarchy” and to “eliminate in the influence of corporations, billionaires and consultants in our political process.” Apparently, there are exceptions, especially when the billionaire in question is writing checks in the right direction.

Steyer, a climate activist who made his fortune founding Farallon Capital, is worth about $2.4 billion, according to Forbes. He’s poured tens of millions into saturating California’s airwaves, something he also did during his unsuccessful 2020 presidential bid.

And here’s the kicker: it might actually be working because he has a 'D' after his name and that's all it takes for the left.

Polling aggregated by RealClearPolitics suggests Steyer is currently the top Democrat heading into the June 2 top-two primary.

The race, however, is anything but settled. Eric Swalwell dropped out and resigned from Congress following multiple sexual misconduct allegations, blowing up what many thought was the Democrats’ strongest hand.

The field is still crowded, with Steyer facing off against Katie Porter, Xavier Becerra, and Matt Mahan, among others. Betty Yee has already bowed out after weak polling, and Gavin Newsom hasn’t tipped his frenetic hand on a successor.

On the Republican side, Steve Hilton and Chad Bianco are still putting up respectable numbers—enough to raise the outside possibility of a Democratic lockout in California’s “jungle primary.”

In that system, the top two vote-getters—party labels be damned—advance to November.

And if current trends hold, one of them could very well be a billionaire endorsed by a group that exists to oppose billionaires. 

Politics doesn’t get much cleaner than that.

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Calif. proposes a bill to criminalize undercover journalism

California Democrat Assembly-member Mia Bonta authored bill AB 2624 which has advanced out of the Assembly Judiciary Committee on a reported 11-2 vote as of April 13th. It has yet to become law, but if it does, the Golden State will become even more Orwellian than it already is.

Let me 'splain.

Assembly-member Carl DeMaio and independent journalist and YouTuber Nick Shirley along with other critics, have dubbed the bill the "Stop Nick Shirley Act," asserting that it would put the kibosh on investigative journalism by allowing taxpayer-funded organizations [particularly those serving immigrant communities] to demand the removal of videos that record in or even around their facilities, while imposing civil penalties, (such as fines up to $10,000 in some descriptions). 

Nick Shirley has used public filming to expose alleged fraud in daycares, hospices, and government-funded programs, and opponents say the bill is a direct response to shield such entities from scrutiny.

So the 'Learing Centers' will remain in business by not providing services to children who don't go there, for example.

Supporters frame the bill as protecting privacy, particularly of those committing fraud, preventing doxxing/harassment, which is exceedingly a tactic on the left, and safeguarding vulnerable organizations or clients (e.g., in immigration support services and other 'Learing Centers') rather than broadly banning journalism. 

The bill targets the release or use of recordings in specific contexts involving fraudulent government-funded entities, not all undercover work. 

This is not the first time California has seen proposals affecting undercover or hidden-camera investigations. Past efforts included "ag-gag" [agriculture gag] style bills aimed at farms (to restrict secret filming of animal cruelty), some of which failed or were challenged on free speech grounds. An older bill (AB 1671 from 2016) sought to punish media for publishing certain undercover videos of health care providers but did not broadly pass in the criticized form.

Similar "ag-gag" laws in other states have faced court challenges for restricting First Amendment-protected news-gathering. As of April 15, 2026, AB 2624 remains in the legislative process (likely needing further votes in the Assembly and Senate, plus the governor's signature to become law). Some internet platforms make claims that it has already "passed" but it is only at the committee stage.

The bill's final scope, constitutionality (especially regarding public recordings or news gathering), and enforcement would depend on its exact text if enacted.

For the latest status, check the official California Legislative Information site (leginfo.legislature.ca.gov) for AB 2624. Free speech concerns around restrictions on filming in public or semi-public spaces tied to government funding have drawn significant criticism from journalists and transparency advocates across the spectrum.

Journalism is not dead--it's on life support.

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Swalwell accuser comes forward with photo evidence

Lonna Drewes and Rep. Eric Swalwell, (D-CA) are shown in a photo presented at Tuesday's news conference. It purports to show her and the congressman in 2018 at the opening of Avra restaurant in Beverly Hills. "Provided by Drewes and attorney Lisa Bloom."

An attorney for Eric Swalwell accuser Lonna Drewes blasted the outgoing congressman's public response Tuesday. She called his comments "blather and spin" and "a slap in the face to the victims."

At Tuesday's Beverly Hills news conference at the law office of attorneys Lisa Bloom and Arick Fudali, the legal team said it would immediately file a police report with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office.

Bloom blasted Swalwell's recent statement in which he said he was "not perfect" and "not a saint" and framed the matter as one between him and his wife.

"Your statement that this is all just a matter between you and your wife is laughable, if not for the fact that it is a slap in the face to the victims," Bloom told reporters. "Your statement [Monday] that you just made, 'mistakes in judgment' is defensive and minimizing.

"Stop it. Own your behavior."

Bloom said her team would provide investigators with evidence including text messages, journal entries, a photograph and witness information.

"We will not rest until we get justice for Lonna," Bloom said.

Dropping out of the gubernatorial race and resigning from Congress is not enough, Bloom added.

"Losing one's job is not a sufficient consequence for these types of allegations," she said. "We feel that the criminal investigations are the priority."Bloom also argued Swalwell's resignation was not an act of accountability, but an effort to avoid further scrutiny.

"I do not, in my opinion, see that as an act of accountability at all," Bloom said. "I see it as an effort to avoid the expulsion hearing that was coming."

Bloom also issued a broader call for other possible accusers or witnesses to come forward. She said she had already received messages from other women and that her firm was available to speak with them confidentially.

"Enough is enough," Bloom said. "I'm sick and tired of women being victimized by men in power."

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