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Friday, June 16, 2017

New parenting trend: paranoid lunacy

(Photo: Heat Street)
"Boo-boo, winky wee," a mother began, then finished the sentence, "may I pweeze pick you up, little Waven?"

The boy's response is to fill his diaper with organic veggie crap and free-range chicken eggs as his mommy picks him up and realizes what she needs to do next.

Cool, trendy mothers are literally asking their illiterate, pre-verbal babies for permission to pick them up lest they grow up to be rapists, an article in Heat Street said.

No, I'm not kidding.

These 'with it' parents believe they're expanding the boundaries of consent to infants who can't even say the word 'no' at this stage of their lives. These are the same parents whose own parents believed back in the day, that talking to plants would keep them happy and help them grow.

They claim that if you pick your kid up without checking in with them first, you are providing them with an unspoken aspect of "rape culture" and that raising them without involuntary lifting will make certain their sons don't become rapists in later life. 

Based on this logic, almost every male should have already grown up to be a rapist.

This bizarre trend began on social media last week. Nisha Moodley posted a selfie with Raven, her six-month-old son (who will probably grow up gay with a name like Raven) and described her approach:
"Since the moment he was born, we've always asked before we pick him up. I always feel for his "yes". Why? Because we want him to know that his body is his, and that others' bodies are theirs, and no one gets to make choices about someone else's body. . #lessonsinsovereignty #bornfree #endrapeculture.  Sidenote: If you ever want to hold someone else's baby, my suggestion is to ask the parent, then ask the kid. It always touches my heart when someone takes a moment to connect with him and says "Can I hold you, dude?"
She can "feel for his 'yes'" sounds a lot like leftist talk. Even if it isn't, she apparently has her own identity issues and one commenter described her approach as "liberal horse-shittttt".

Others who were incredibly gullible and supportive said they do the same thing. 
She didn't say 'may I'

Over 600 users "liked" the post, but she believes there are myriads more who simply didn't get permission to "like" it.

Moodley was also asked in an exclusive interview with my source (who only goes by the name "Vinny,") if she can "feel" it when Raven has to take a dump.

She admitted that it isn't so much about feeling as it is about smelling it. 

"I don't ever want my son to be a sexual perpetrator or the victim of one, and the best thing I can do is honor his choice about his own body."

But when it comes to abortion, one wonders if she believes in giving the same honor to the unborn baby who didn't give permission to be killed.

So if Raven decides he wants to poop on his ice cream cone, it's okay, it's how he rolls.

"That's a goooood boooy . . . that's a goooood boooy."