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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

North Korea's Kim blows off steam by blowing stuff up

The chubby ruler of North Korea, Kim Jong Un, gets all frustrated and upset whenever the US makes demands, said his dad's former sushi chef, Kenji Fujimoto, who wisely relocated to Japan. It appears that Kim has his skivvies all bunched up from our sanctions, so now he's getting ready for the next launch of a missile that goes "BOOM!". 

Fujimoto, after a recent trip to beautiful Pyongyang, said that Kim admitted to his ornate need to fire missiles whenever he gets upset with us.

"I have no intention of waging war," Kim said, according to the chef. "It's that whenever a diplomat tries to approach the U.S., they come up with unreasonable demands. They aggravate me, so I launch missiles."

That and basketball with Dennis Rodman are Kim's ways of blowing off steam.

Fujimoto, now working as an advisor on North Korea-Japan relations, suggested that Kim was pissed off by our sanctions and military threats from South Korea. 

"[Secretary Kim] said that he thought it would be a good idea if I played a bridging role between Pyongyang and the Japanese government," Fujimoto said.

In another way for Kim to blow off steam, the North evidently built a half-size mock-up of South Korea's presidential palace at a firing range. Rumor has it that Kim will set up a "blow-up" replica of the president of the South just so he can blow her up.

He may be the leader of a country, but he's truly an idiot.