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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Heir to the Throne is Born

Lady Chelsea Clinton Mezvinsky, daughter-in-law of the great Ed Mezvinsky gave birth to a girl, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky. This gave the Queen Grandmother and King William their second heir to the throne and their first grandchild. Chelsea, of course, is first heir.

The Clinton's are ecstatic and so is some woman in a red dress who keeps lurking around Bill and Hillary's place after sunset.

Clinton spokesman, Kamyl Bazbaz (no relation to Buz B. Bazbaz of Bismark, ND) said little Charlotte was born on Friday, but the rest of the details are confidential or none of our business. The Mezvinsky's live in the Big Apple, if you really care to know.

In a tweet (the method of communication Democrats favor over face-to-face communication and as threats to terrorist organizations) Chelsea wrote: "Marc and I are full of love, awe and gratitude as we celebrate the birth of our daughter, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky.

Now the question remains: will Hillary still run for POTUS in 2016 or become a doting grandma? My money is on the White House, to hell with grandma crap. Hillary's come too far, pointed at too many people in the crowds of low-information women who adore her, and put up with too many "I did not have sex with that woman in the red dress" shenanigans from Bill to give up now. This is her time and she doesn't want to be "on the wrong side of history," (as if history took sides).

Killery Hillary called the idea of becoming a grandmother her "most exciting title yet," but she was as honest as her hair is blond. But becoming a grandmother is a nice bump for her in the polls because it makes her seem less than a do-nothing opportunist and more like a person from this planet.

Bill, on the other hand, sounded sincere when he said, "I just hope being a grandfather doesn't hurt my chances at impressing some of my staff, if you know what I mean."

Like her parents, Chelsea is "dead broke," only able to scratch together about $75,000 for each speech she makes on college campuses. She is so destitute that she is considering creating a website for cash and credit card donations to help by little Charlotte baby clothes and diapers. All donations will be tax deductible she said.