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Saturday, March 29, 2014

Latest Terms from the North American Infidel Dictionary

Well, here's what you've been waiting for: a concise and accurate glossary of some Islamic terms as defined by the North American Infidel Dictionary, 2014 edition. This list is by no means complete but that's because I want you coming back for more. I have also taken the liberty (which is something you probably won't find in most Islamic nations) of not putting the list in alphabetical order.

Mujtahid: a guy who specializes in interpreting Islamic rules and regulations using 4 major Islamic sources: 1) the Koran (a.k.a. The Islamic Military Field Guide), 2) Hadith (a collection of tales about the life of Muhammad--peas be up in him--and his army of beheaders, 3) conscience of the community (if you are a woman in Saudi Arabia, for example, forget about the car), and 4) reasoning (an Islamic oxymoron).

Muslim Piece Prize: not to be confused with the Nobel Peace Prize, although it's possible to be awarded both, (see Yasar Arafat,  Al Gore, and Barack Obama). The Piece Prize is awarded to a noble jihadist who creates the most human damage as measured by the greatest number of body parts found in the aftermath of a suicide bombing. The prize is awarded posthumously to the proud parents and/or spouse of the lucky winner, and the jihadist is awarded 3 extra brown-eyed virgins in Paradise. However, in order to be eligible, the words "Allahu Akhbar" must be screamed out before the contestant gets his "Islamic Haircut."

Shari'ah: rules and regs of Islam, sponsored by Muhammad, peas be up in him. Some of the rules sound misogynistic but make perfect sense, especially if you're a man, or better still, an imam. Women get half the rights of men. If a woman is raped, she must have 4 male witnesses testify for her defense, but failing that, she is to be buried up to her shoulders and stoned to death. Shari'ah rules that if you steal, your hand is cut off. If you're Jewish and you steal, you're beheaded. If a father dies and has land, the daughter only gets half that which her brother gets, but if she has more than one brother, she gets whatever is left over after they divide it up. If she's Jewish, she's beheaded. If you leave Islam, you're put to death. If you're gay, you're put to death. If you're a lesbian, you're put to death. If you're a Jewish lesbian, you're beheaded.
A religious man of peace

Religion of Peace: American presidents all agree--it's Islam.

Salat: Obligatory prayers. They are prayers that have less influence on Allah than spontaneous, heartfelt prayers, but hey, a fragile ego must be assuaged, so give Allah his due. If you are able to perform Salat, but fail to do so, you might be put to death, depending upon the conscience of the community (see Mujtahid, above).

Zakat: Obligatory charity, which means it isn't actually charity. Often these "alms" are used to assist those who wage jihad against infidels. Suicide vests, cell phone bombs, swords, AK 47s, and the like, cost money, and your Zakat dollars go to fund these worthwhile causes. Often Zakat is obtained from Dhimmies who live (for the time being) in Muslim communities. They must pay their "fair share" or face Shari'ah's wrath.

Dhimmie: any person of the genus infidel, who believes that Islam should and must be tolerated at all costs (see liberal, Salon Magazine, and Madonna). The most dangerous dhimmies are those who are in charge of our security, for, like Neville Chamberlain, they have their head up their butt and are likely to get us all killed.

Khums: Just one more thing on the obligatory "To Do" list. It's a tax disguised as not a tax--much like Obama said of Obamacare, but the Supreme Court had to pass it as a tax in order for it to be legal. Of course it isn't legal, but, like Shari'ah uses a Mujtahid to interpret it, we use Obama, who changes it as he sees fit.

Muslim: A person who migrates to other peoples' country, is intolerant of the host country's culture, and expects them to be tolerant and fully deferential to theirs. They play the role of victim so incredibly well, that they can kill your neighbor while simultaneously making you feel that they are the victims. Most Muslims are not terrorists, but most terrorists are, well, you know.

Zed Nill, a New York reporter, is captured by Islamist terrorists. They demand the release of three Gitmo prisoners and if the president refuses, they plan to behead him and videotape it for the Internet. But the United States doesn’t give in to terrorist’s demands and Zed has 24 hours before he is to be executed. The clock is ticking . . .