Seattle Pride getting budget cut as corporate sponsors dwindle due to removal of noggins from nether region

Let's dive into the rainbow-colored dumpster fire that is Seattle Pride’s financial meltdown!

According to reports, Seattle Pride is staring down a $350,000 shortfall, and they’re blaming it on—wait for it—corporations ditching the DEI bandwagon. That’s right, the woke cash cow is drying up, and now the glitter’s hitting the fan!

Seattle, the granola-crunching, Birkenstock-wearing capital of lefty land, is apparently struggling to keep its Pride parade afloat. KOMO News says this mess is “attributed to recent rollbacks in initiatives and political challenges facing the LGBTQIA2S+E=Mc2 community.” 

Translation: Companies are tired of footing the bill for identity politics while losing income, and the alphabet soup is feeling the squeeze. 

Enter Patti Hearn, Seattle Pride’s Executive Director, who’s out here sounding like she’s auditioning for a TED Talk on victimhood. 

Hearn told KOMO, “We have seen shifts in corporate sponsorship as companies assess their budgets and priorities, and some sponsors have not yet renewed their commitments this year.” 

Oh no, Patti, you mean businesses are acting like businesses and not your personal ATM? 

She goes on: “We are still in conversations with many of them — it’s important to us that we partner with organizations that demonstrate genuine and sustained support for the LGBTQIA2S+ community year-round. This is especially imperative as our community faces ongoing political attacks.” 

Eye roll. Political attacks? Or maybe people are just over the corporate virtue-signaling?

But wait, it gets better! Hearn’s got a plan to save Pride: ditch the suits and go full communist! She said, “We know that relying on corporate sponsorships is not the future of Pride. The future is community [communism]. That's why we're leaning into grassroots partnerships and radical mutual aid.” Radical mutual aid? What is this, a Pride parade or a Marxist bake sale? 

Good luck funding your floats with hugs and good vibes, Seattle!

The Seattle Times piles on, quoting Hearn blaming—you guessed it—Trump! “Hearn said the retreat in financial commitments by major corporate sponsors is a sign big-name companies may be following the lead of the Trump administration, which has launched a sweeping campaign against diversity, equity and inclusion efforts and the LGBTQ+ community, particularly transgender people.” 

There it is, folks! The Orange Man strikes again, single-handedly tanking Seattle Pride from Mar-a-Lago. Give me a break.

Hearn’s out here whining, “It’s a really rough world for queer people, and this just feels like it’s part of that package.” Rough world? They get a whole Pride Month while veterans get a day!

Try running a business in Biden’s economy, Patti! 

She refuses to name the corporations ghosting her, saying her team is “still in some conversation” with them. Sure, sounds like those Zoom calls are going great. She told The Seattle Times, “Typically, we’d have a lot more companies who’d sign on the dotted line much earlier than the deadline. What we’re seeing is a bit of uncertainty.” 

Uncertainty? Or maybe companies are waking up to the fact that pandering doesn’t pay the bills.

Hearn says this year’s parade is safe, but 2026 might be a different story unless they can scrape together some cash. Her big plan? Beg for donations, chase grants, and throw fundraisers. Sounds like Seattle Pride’s about to become the world’s most fabulous GoFundMe.

So, what’s the takeaway? Woke Inc. is tightening the purse strings, and Seattle Pride’s learning the hard way that you can’t guilt-trip your way to a balanced budget. 

Maybe it’s time to rethink the “radical mutual aid” nonsense and focus on something sustainable. Or, you know, just keep blaming Trump. That’s bound to work. 

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