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The following is satire.
Or perhaps, as Adam Schiff might claim, "Zhang is working for the Chinese government hand-in-glove with Trump. We need to investigate further, but I have it on good sources that there's evidence Trump knows her and I call on a special council to probe the matter."
In any case, the federal government is opening an investigation into what they believe may be an incident of international espionage, and top Congressmen were briefed and are looking into the matter.
Here's what went down:
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A woman, most likely a Chinese national, holding a Chinese passport, tried to elude the alert security personnel and sneak onto Mar-a-Lago grounds over the weekend. She was carrying a laptop police say was filled with "malware," possibly designed to tap into secure technology installed at the president's Florida home.
"[A]ccording to a criminal complaint filed in the Southern District of Florida, 32-year-old Zhang made it through checkpoints and all the way to the main reception area of the Mar-a-Lago club before she was stopped from going any further when a receptionist determined she wasn't on an approved guest list. Secret Service agents did halt her at multiple points to question her purpose for being there," CBS reports.
Trump was staying at Mar-a-Lago over the weekend, playing golf and watching Fox News, but he reportedly missed out on the action, unless you believe Adam Schiff's claim.
"[A]ccording to a criminal complaint filed in the Southern District of Florida, 32-year-old Zhang made it through checkpoints and all the way to the main reception area of the Mar-a-Lago club before she was stopped from going any further when a receptionist determined she wasn't on an approved guest list. Secret Service agents did halt her at multiple points to question her purpose for being there," CBS reports.
Trump was staying at Mar-a-Lago over the weekend, playing golf and watching Fox News, but he reportedly missed out on the action, unless you believe Adam Schiff's claim.
The President left to play golf around 9:30 am and returned to the main house after 3:00 pm. The Chinese woman was caught trying to sneak into the club just after noon Florida time, but Schiff believes Trump may have slipped her a key, although there is no evidence of that claim.
Federal agents, the Miami-Herald reports, are now looking into whether Zhang, who was "previously unknown to law enforcement" might be part of a larger Chinese counter-intelligence operation designed to infiltrate the President's Florida residence, perhaps on the theory that Mar-a-Lago has less security than the President's home and office in Washington, D.C. If true, Zhang and her colleagues need to go back to spy school.
Federal agents, the Miami-Herald reports, are now looking into whether Zhang, who was "previously unknown to law enforcement" might be part of a larger Chinese counter-intelligence operation designed to infiltrate the President's Florida residence, perhaps on the theory that Mar-a-Lago has less security than the President's home and office in Washington, D.C. If true, Zhang and her colleagues need to go back to spy school.
"Maybe Zhang was invited there by the president who planned to give her access to their computer system with the intention of helping the Chinese government and overthrowing himself," Schiff may have been thinking as he planned to visit the studios of the Comedy News Network.
When confronted, Zheng initially claimed to be a member of Mar-a-Lago, then told security personnel she was just there to use the pool. Finally, when pressed, she claimed to be an attendee of a United Nations-organized "friendship event" at the mansion -- a nonexistent event -- at the behest of a man named "Charles" whom she'd contacted on a Chinese texting app. When that didn't work, she insisted the only reason she was at the mansion was to use the ladies' room.
Zheng was eventually arrested and authorities discovered the aforementioned laptop, as well as four cell phones, an external hard drive, and a USB device loaded with malware of its own.
The FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force is also looking into whether the incident involving Zheng is connected to Li “Cindy” Yang, the south Florida massage parlor owner at the center of a massive human trafficking and prostitution bust (the same bust that netted Patriots' owner Robert Kraft). Yang reportedly organized and held events for Chinese businessmen at Mar-a-Lago, according, also, to the Miami Herald, to try to get close to Trump.
Yang's efforts apparently did not bear much fruit, but attracted the attention of authorities concerned that Mar-a-Lago may not be properly outfitted to host the President.
The Secret Service say the south Florida mansion is treated like any of the President's "temporary residences," and security is handled accordingly. Not so great, but accordingly.
Zheng was eventually arrested and authorities discovered the aforementioned laptop, as well as four cell phones, an external hard drive, and a USB device loaded with malware of its own.
The FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force is also looking into whether the incident involving Zheng is connected to Li “Cindy” Yang, the south Florida massage parlor owner at the center of a massive human trafficking and prostitution bust (the same bust that netted Patriots' owner Robert Kraft). Yang reportedly organized and held events for Chinese businessmen at Mar-a-Lago, according, also, to the Miami Herald, to try to get close to Trump.
Yang's efforts apparently did not bear much fruit, but attracted the attention of authorities concerned that Mar-a-Lago may not be properly outfitted to host the President.
The Secret Service say the south Florida mansion is treated like any of the President's "temporary residences," and security is handled accordingly. Not so great, but accordingly.
Follow Brain Flushings and have a few laughs while you get a conservative viewpoint. Politics is the new NFL without the mindless kneeling and this blog will both inform you and will hopefully entertain you bigly.
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