Chubby Kim wants to shut U.S. up about military options

"Look Kim, a dead bird"

Seoul -- North Korea is looking to acquire military "equilibrium" with the U.S. in order to put an end to talks about using military options for dealing with Pyongyang, the obese dictator Kim Jong Un said after he launched another missile over Japan's mainland.

Corpulent Kim told his top missile unit that NoKo would continue to run "full speed and straight" toward military parity with us, reported the state fake news agency known as Korean Central News Agency (KCNA; aka Comedy Centrifuge).

The latest missile launch was the second one in three weeks. This time it flew over 2,300 miles from the launch site in Pyongyang and over the northern Japanese city of Hokkaido, home to some of Japan's finest sakes and world renown Sapporo Beer.

And Kim better not mess with our beer.

Fortunately for the fat man and Japan, the missile landed in the Pacific Ocean, but with a range like that, it could have easily reached Guam, which is about 2,100 miles from the launch site.

Kim has been threatening to "envelop" Guam with missiles, but if he did, it's highly likely we'd envelop his fat butt with enough fire power to make Pyongyang and the rest of NoKo indistinguishable from a Smokey the Bear nightmare.

In the meantime however, President Trump and other world leaders have retaliated with strong words of condemnation, which we all know scares the bejeezus out of Kim and will get him to think hard about what he has done.

Not!


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