Friday, July 7, 2017

Trump vows to act "very strongly" and grammatically on NoKo missile threat

Warsaw -- President Trump pledged to confront North Korea "very strongly" after its latest ballistic missile launch. He called upon other nations to stand with him and show Pyongyang that "we will collectively kick Kim's fat ass from here to Timbuktu, wherever the hell that is, if he doesn't just cut it out."


Trump's imitation cracks up Putin at G20
U.S. political analysts are trying to determine exactly what the president means by 'collectively kick' but one such analyst, who wishes to remain anonymous but goes by the name 'Vinny Boombots,' believes that Trump is not referring to an all-out war with the hermit nation, but a one-on-one wrestling bout with him versus Kim.

"After all," Boombots said, "Trump looked good in the doctored CNN wrestling video, and he believes he'd get good TV ratings if he and Kim went toe-to-toe in the ring."

North Korea test launched an intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) on the Fourth of July to show us "American bastards" what he's made of--aside from the lard. Some experts believe the ICBM could reach Alaska and even Hawaii and could carry a large nuclear warhead.

Trump spoke at a joint news conference with Polish President Andrzej Duda. (As the Polish President spoke, an open mike caught President Trump humming the tune "Camptown Races.")

Mr. Trump asserted that North Korea was "a threat, and we will confront it very strongly." Speaking very, very plainly, he said the United States was considering "severe things" for North Korea but unlike his failed predecessor, Barack Hussein Obama, he would not draw a "red line" and then punk out when push came to shove.

Trump went on to say with Trump-like simplicity: "They are behaving in a very, very dangerous manner and something will have to be done." But strategically, he didn't say what he would do.

SecDef Jim Mattis said the missile launch by itself wasn't a prerequisite to war and stressed that our focus was on diplomacy to pressure corpulent Kim's regime.

As we continue with sanctions on North Korea, the people of that nation have declared grass to be a vegetable.

Sad!


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