Diversity "experts" ordered the team to "open their minds" and enlist more white female lesbian and straight shooters, Chinese, Japanese, Hopi Indian, Jewish, Hindu, Jain, gay white men, straight white men, transgender this and thats, Muslim women, Muslim men, gay Muslim men and women, Apaches, Vietnamese 'little people' (a rarity in basketball) and the blind.
Insofar as their white opponents go, The Washington Generals, they need to be allowed to win half the games and the same diversity measures that need to be applied to the Globetrotters must also be applied to them, according to diversity "experts."
"It's ridiculous that the Globetrotters never lose. I mean like what's the point of coming to a game if you already know who's going to win?" Gladys Finklemeister told Brain Flushings reporter Vinny Boombots.
"And why is everyone on the Globetrotters black? Can't there be a few white people and people of variegated colors playing for them? It's crazy," she said.
The team's sponsor, Inner Mongolia Mengniu Dairy Industry, a manufacturing and distribution company of dairy products in the People's Republic of China, is the official marketing partner of the Harlem Globetrotters.
Mengniu claims that it's their concern as to how many tickets are sold to the games the team plays, but it isn't their concern to meet diversity quotas and they anticipate no changes in the team's race or sexual orientation.
But social justice warriors aren't giving up so easily. They plan to march outside Globetrotter events until things change and the Washington Generals win one for a change.
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