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Thursday, March 2, 2017

The celebrity presidential debate for 2020

Former talk show host and entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey told the audience at a Bloomberg TV show that Donald Trump has inspired her to run for the presidency. 

Although she's aware that she lacks the necessary experience to run this country, she figures why not give it a shot. If Trump can run the nation, maybe she could too. And because she is known for giving stuff away on her former shows, leftists will love her.

"Oh gee, I don't have the experience," the entertainer said. "I don't know enough. And now I'm thinking, 'Oh? Oh!"

Nobody knows how serious Oprah is regarding the presidency, but the Democrats are definitely looking toward the 2020 Presidential election and the candidates they're seriously thinking about are in the worlds of sports and entertainment.

So here we have Oprah going up against Kanye West, Meryl Streep and Robert DeNiro for the Democratic Party nomination. 

There aren't as many sports figures who are interested in running on the Democratic ticket because sports is too similar to conservative ideals which require hard work and is entirely merit-based.

Imagine the start of the debate. Chris Matthews is the moderator and is currently suffering from restless leg syndrome. 

Matthews: I can't believe four years have passed since Donald Trump became our dictator. The first question is to Kanye. 
Mr. West, in your view, what do you see as our biggest threat over the last four years?

West: Thanks for the question, mutha******. It's the lack of available b*****s, man. There was a time when a dude could score just by walking into a bar, now you gotta show them you gotta job. Know what I'm sayin'?

Matthews: I hear you, man. Oprah, same question, go.

Winfrey: The biggest problem, Chris, is obvious. It's obesity and the lack of free cars to this audience watching this debate. So I'm giving each and every one of you A FREE CAR!

(Applause.)

Matthews: Meryl . . . what do you think?

Streep: I think Karl Lagerfeld still owes me an apology and that Donald Trump has no business being president of this great country. His instinct to humiliate by someone in the public platform, by someone powerful, it filters down into everybody's life, because it kinda gives permission for other people to do the same thing. Disrespect invites disrespect, violence incites violence. And when the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose.

Matthews: Those words are very familiar, Meryl. Where did I hear them before?

Streep: I stated something similar to that in the 2017 Golden Globes, of which I won 30, and I stand by those words today. Vote for me--I'm a winner. I won 3 Academy Awards and have been nominated 17 additional times. I'm a winner and I will make America the greatest again.

Matthews: And what about you, Robert? What do you think of the job that President Trump is doing after almost four years as president?


De Niro: Trump is totally nuts. God help us . . . he talks how he'd like to punch people in the face? Well, I still like to punch him in the face. Yeah.

Matthews: So you're saying you don't think he's doing a good job even though the Dow is above 25 thousand?

De Niro: No. He's doing a lousy job. I can't even get a good Mexican gardener to trim my f***ing hedges now that he built that f*****g wall and hired all those border agents.

West: I say we bust a cap in the muth******!

(Audience goes wild with cheers.)

And Oprah wins the debate because of the free stuff.