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Thursday, February 16, 2017

Susan Sarandon says her sexuality is "up for grabs" but who's grabbing?

The 70-year-old star of Thelma & Louise says her sexuality is "up for grabs" for anyone, anyone at all, and please hurry because she knows she isn't getting any younger.

Sadly, the septuagenarian hasn't gotten many offers from sighted people, both male and female, but she is still hopeful and plans to send out feelers to a local retirement home.

Ms. Sarandon is a mother of three children and one grandchild, Marlowe Mae Martino. She was married to Chris Sarandon for 12 years and then Tim Robbins for 21 years, but they split up in 2009.

Sarandon told PrideSource, an online LGBTQ far left website: "I'm a serial monogamist, so I haven't really had a large dating career."

She then went all dramatic: "I married Chris Sarandon when I was 20, and that went on for quite a while--each of my relationships have. I haven't exactly been in the midst of a lot of offers of any kind. I'm still not.

"I don't know what's going on but I think back in the '69s it just was much more open."

When asked about her sexuality she said, "Yeah, I'm open. My sexual orientation is up for grabs, I guess you could say."

The aging actress revealed an affair she had with homosexual British actor Philip Sayer who died in 1989.

She said that "I did at one point have a very successful and very loving and wonderful affair with a man who then wasn't with another woman after me, and that worked out fine."

So beware you men out there who are thinking about having sex with Susan Sarandon: one it's over, you may never have sex with a woman ever again.