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Monday, December 5, 2016

Biden says he'll run in 2020 if he's still above ground

America's favorite gaffester, Uncle Joe Biden, has announced that he plans to run for president in 2020 if he's still above ground. He made that brave announcement just 27 days after Donald Trump was elected the 45th President of the United States.

Joe, never at a loss for a quick kiss or a playful grab of a young admirer, is still going fairly strong at 74 and hopes to be able to remember to throw his hat in the ring when he's 78. He told reporters that he is going for the gusto in just four more years.

Chances are Joe will have to go up against Hillary in 2020 for the Democratic bid because there is no way she'll go quietly into the night--she needs the position to keep the foundation going. And she will be the same age Joe is now.

"I'm going to run in 2020," Biden told the reporters at the Capitol. "So, uh, what the hell, man." Duh.

When asked if he was joking, Biden paused for a moment and sighed, checked his fly, and smiled. "Yeah, I am . . . Yeah, I am . . . We're going to run again."

Reporters pressed him on the same question and he backed off a bit and said, "I'm not committing not to run. I learned a long time ago fate has a funny way of intervening."

If heaven forfend Biden does run in 2020, he will turn 78 soon after the election. Ronald Reagan was a few days short of turning 78 when he left office, making him the oldest person to serve as POTUS, a record that Biden wants to break, if he doesn't break a hip first.