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Saturday, August 13, 2016

Kurdish forces capture Manbij

Kurdish Syria Democratic Forces (SDF) have captured the town of Manbij in northern Syria. Although Manbij doesn't boast a local Costco or decent shopping mall, it was an ISIS stronghold and is a feather in the Kurdish Keffiyeh. This came after two months of heavy fighting.

As a result, hundreds of civilians were freed who had been used as human shields by jihad-observant Muslims, Syrian Kurdish officials and an opposition activist group told the media.

Nasser Haj Mansour of the SDF told the Associated Press that Manbij "is under full control." He said that operations are ongoing in search for any ISIS scumcrumpet who might have stayed behind because it was too difficult to leave with a sex slave.

The SDF push to capture Manbij began in late May with the aid of U.S. airstrikes. Manbij lies along a key supply route between the Turkish border and Raqqa, the de facto capital of the Islamic State's self-proclaimed caliphate. 

The route also is the only place sporting clean rest rooms and a camel urine machine for travelers who get motion sickness from riding the beast.

Amateur video seen online showed men celebrating in the streets after the city was captured by the SDF and women uncovering their average-looking faces. ISIS, you may recall, imposes harsh penalties for any violation of Islamic orthodoxy including women showing skin, and men not praying five times a day to the moon god, Allah. Of course, there was a mandatory dress code.

A keffiyeh
One religious civilian, a young man, shouted to the sky, "May God destroy them. May they not live for a minute."

No response from the sky.

According to the AP, the videos appeared to be genuine, especially the one of a young woman uncovering her face and lighting up a cigarette as she flashed a victory sign.

Under ISIS, the religion of peace demands that women have to wear burqas and the men have to grow beards. Smoking was banned but ISIS jihadists could sell opium and other illicit drugs on the black market to buy arms and ammunition. 

Allah makes exceptions when it came to Mohammed and war.

Some ISIS fighters were captured but others fled to nearby villages. Haj Mansour said that the sweep will continue in the villages until they are all cleaned up of scumcrumpets.

According to those keeping score, Manbij was the biggest defeat for ISIS in Syria since July 2015 when they lost Tal Abyad, another town without a decent bagel shop and borders Turkey.

SDF fighters have been cautiously advancing into Manbij and other nearby villages, if you believe the media. The fighting supposedly killed about 450 people, but that number may be inflated under the Obama administration.

Meanwhile, ISIS still controls a large part of Syria and Mosul in Iraq. But with the administration lying to us, it doesn't feel so bad and we can pretend that there's nothing to be so darn concerned with.