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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Chubby Kim kills 2 top officials

North Korea -- In a move to reduce the pain of execution and the need for having to provide graves, the lard-body leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un, removed two top officials by having them shot with anti-aircraft guns. 

They never knew what hit them, but elephantine Kim enjoyed the show.

The JoongAng libo (not to be confused with Obama's Choom Gang) identified the victims of paunchy Kim's favorite pastime as former agriculture minister Hwang Min and senior education ministry official Ri Yong Jin.

Due to rotund Kim's desire to remain on friendly terms with Dennis Rodman, reports of executions and additional government purges are kept on the "down-low" and therefore are difficult to confirm. In once incident last May, a former N. Korean general was believed to have been executed but later was found to be alive, thus embarrassing South Korean intelligence. 

But South Korea has been mum regarding Tuesday's report on the executions.

Butterball Kim has ordered a series of executions, purges and dismissals since 2011, when his father died. This was his way of tightening his grip on power.

JoongAng libo reported that Hwang was blown to smithereens due to his policy proposals which were seen as a challenge to jelly-belly Kim. 

Ri's transgression was that he caught a few "Zzzs" during a meeting with Kim the dictator. He was also accused of corruption but this didn't need to be proved once he was practically vaporized. 

In 2015, South Korean intelligence said that North Korean defense chief Hyon Yong Choi was blown to bite-size bits by anti-aircraft fire for falling asleep during a meeting and disagreeing with the corpulent dictator.

The whereabouts of the two victims are unknown, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was discovered that the "Crisco Kid" ate their remains.