Friday, April 29, 2016

Zuckerberg armed to the teeth with protection

"When you're famous, like me, you can't spend enough on personal security. I mean, people want me dead. ISIS wants to cut my freaking head off. It's scary. I'm scared. I'm worried and I'm going to protect myself, even though I'm anti-gun for the common man. I'm not common and I'm not going down without a fight (by my bodyguards). 

These are not the actual words of Facebook founder and billionaire Mark Zuckerberg, but his actual uncensored thoughts picked up by a mind reading device I got on EBay for a great price.

The Zuckster spent $7.8 million for protection in 2014 and $6.5 million last year. The total amount of money his company has paid to keep him from being "offed" is around $19 million. 

The Facebook CEO is scared, very scared, and has no less than 16 big strong people protecting his rich butt at his California home.

But who can blame him? He has been threatened by ISIS and others whose FB privacy settings were allegedly messed with.

He doesn't fly on public airlines but has FB pay for private jets, security cameras, alarms, parachutes, safe spaces in buildings he visits, and earmuffs given to him by his mom.

Nobody knows the actual number of legal firearms Zuckerberg has to protect him, but like others who hate the Second Amendment, he's a scaredy cat hypocrite.


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