The Justice League of N, Korea

Seoul-- Kim Jong Un may be calling upon his North Korean Justice League to wage an indiscriminate "pre-emptive nuclear strike of justice" on South Korea and the U.S. if we don't stop our military exercises with S. Korea. If this actually happens, President Obama, under the direction of Michelle Obama, will try to "grow a pair" and retaliate . . . or not.

But fear not, my fellow patriots, Kim has a tendency to make empty threats as he realizes that, to do what he says he would do, is a tad suicidal. 

However, the threats usually increase dramatically whenever Washington and Seoul put on their annual defensive war games in the spring--it rattles Kim's cage.

When Kim's dad died in 2011, forcing North Koreans to shed crocodile tears lest they join him, Kim the Pudge took over North Korea, a "Rube Goldberg"  type of  country. He ruled with a fat iron fist to make it clear who was the boss.

Kim liked to threaten larger countries and wield his power by killing family members whose only crime might have been that they belched at the dinner table. 

He also killed a few generals who may have smiled at what they thought was a Kim joke. In fact, just for kicks, he had one of the generals killed by mortar fire just so he could watch him die. 

Kim claims the war games are actually rehearsals for an invasion of his little country, a country that if it were a person, would be suffering from leprosy and the heebie-jeebies.  Listen up, Kim, nobody cares to for North Korea--you can have it all to yourself.

The North is threatening strikes in the South as well as U.S. bases in the Pacific, and even the U.S. mainland, claiming its enemies "are working with bloodshot eyes to infringe upon the dignity, sovereignty and vital rights' of North Korea."

The only one with bloodshot eyes is Dennis Rodman, but they go nicely with his new floral dress.

A statement by the North said, "If we push the buttons to annihilate the enemies even right now, all bases of provocations will be reduced to seas in flames and ashes in a moment." This has led U.S. intelligence sources to believe that Kim may on hallucinogenic drugs.

North Korea's rocket arsenal most likely does not have the capability to reach our west coast, but if a missile detonates close enough to create a great surf, I know a bunch of dudes who are ready with their baggies.


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