Monday, May 18, 2015

Iraq's Chickens Left Home Refusing to Roost

Thousands of not so committed Iraqis fled Ramadi today after their government led the charge in the predictable retreat from the Islamic State (aka Muslim orthodox jihadists). One U.S. military official (who wanted to remain anonymous because he believes the IRS would make his life miserable if word got out that he told the truth) conceded that the fight for Ramadi was "pretty much over."

About 8000 people ran like gazelles as IS went door-to-door looking for government heads to put on sticks.

Muhannad (pronounced Mohammad) Haimour, a spokesman for the Anbar provincial government told NBC News that "There have been executions in the streets of Ramadi," and adding, "The situation in the city is absolutely terrible. The city is in very bad shape."

John Kerry, that good ole cockeyed optimist said, " It is possible to have the kinds of attack that we have seen in Ramadi, but I am absolutely confident, in the days ahead, that will be reversed." 

Kerry has never actually seen the kind of attack that "we have seen in Ramadi," and it's highly unlikely that even in Vietnam, where Kerry served on a swift boat for several months, ever saw what "we have seen in Ramadi."

IS orthodox Muslims overran Ramadi using bulldozers rigged with explosives and suicide bombers (who believe that by killing the enemies of the 'true Islam,' that they will get 72 virgins in Paradise). 

After their latest performance, the Iraqi army is now touted to take gold at the "I Came, I Saw, I Ran Like Hell Olympics" to be held in the new caliphate being constructed in Iraq with the help of U.S. policies of "no boots on the ground, no doobie left unsmoked" by Barack Hussein Obama.

Iraqi insecurity forces fled from their Anbar Operations Center in Ramadi last night, leaving like thieves in the night while IS took over the city. The Iraqis, as is their wont, left all their gear, including Humvees and armored vehicles, for the orthodox Muslim jihadists who, Allah willing, will make good use of them in their fight against everyone who doesn't have an IS membership card.

Overall, there were only several hundred IS fighters against thousands of Iraq's "not so brave" and look who came out ahead and with their head intact. 

IS fighters went door-to-door, storming the homes of police and pro-government tribesmen and detained about 30 Al Bu Alwan tribe. Some homes and stores owned by pro-government Sunni militia (known as the Sahwa) were looted and torched.

Youssef al-Kilabi, a spokesman for the Shi'ite militias told the Associated Press that the Iranian-backed forces have planned a counter-offensive and will be kicking the crap out of those Sunni dudes before you can say, "Allahu Akbar."

John Kerry responded with a hearty, "Allahu Akbar" of his own.

An anonymous Iraqi source told the media, "We need Kerry like camels need more humps." 


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