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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

First Lady: Nutritionist Extraordinaire

It's so good for you, don't even try it once.

First Lady snorting broccoli
At least that's how students are thinking when it comes to their nutritious, not-so-delicious, school lunches, the result of the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act passed (like explosive flatulence) in 2010.

Where there are kids left on their own (without a parent to tell them that there are people starving in Kathmandu, or some other lesser-known place) there will always be plate waste. 

The National School Lunch Week and National School Boards Association joined forces last week and released a survey showing that 84% of nationwide school districts show serious food waste by students. The survey also showed that 82% reported added lunch costs, and 77% reported a dramatic plunge in the number of kids eating in smelly school cafeterias.

Joey Vaughn, the director of the Child Nutrition Program in Huntsville, AL said, "We can offer dessert, but you end up where you can't offer it because then you can't meet the calorie limit. Basically, school food is now hospital food," (without the risk of Ebola, I might add).

Kids would rather eat food that doesn't taste like page 456 of War and Peace than eat the "food" they serve in school. 

This has upset such notable nutrition experts like Michelle Obama. When asked about why kids don't like the food she recommends she answered: "I'm the First Freaking Lady and I don't give a s**t what those little bas***ds like; they're gonna eat what I tell them they're gonna eat. They don't know what's good for them, and they better get with the program if they know what's good for them. 

"It was that damn George Bush who said he hated broccoli--it's his damn fault."