The Compleat Islamic Encyclopedia: Incompleat Edition

1. Allah: the main god, the moon god, who rules the world and all seven levels of heaven from a cloud upon which he sits.
2. America: an Islamic continent that must be retaken  Inshallah, in order to ensure that Allah reigns on his  planet and peace can prevail. (see also Europe).
3. Ape: a Jew. Do not let their Nobel prizes fool you--Alfred Nobel was probably a Jew too. According to the Noble Qur'an, the Jew is among the worst of people, and we are still exploring why we think Allah (SAW)created them and left it up to us to destroy them after first destroying Israel. Even trees talk to us and tell us when Jews hide behind them, so that we can come and kill them. Killing is what we do best.
4. Balls: what suicide bombers have that lesser Muslims lack. However, paying money toward jihad gets you at least one ball and 35 virgins. Moron that later.
5. Barbarians: People who insult Islam and keep us from spreading Islam throughout the world. Don't let their automobiles and electronic gadgets entice you into believing that they are cool. They are so not cool because they do not have Islam in their miserable lives. Most of them do not even know how to properly ride a camel or wipe clean their tool with a stone after relieving themselves.
6. Beard: hair growing out from the chin and below sideburns and which must be worn without a moustache in order to imitate our incredibly powerful, cool, superhuman Prophet, Muhammad (PBUH). Dying the beard with red henna imitates the Prophet of Islam (PBUH) down to the tee. He would have really liked that about us if He were walking on earth today.
7. CAIR: (Council on American-Islamic Relations)an organization dedicated to the proposition that all Muslims are created equal (save for Muhammad, peace be upon Him) and whose goal is to ensure that all Muslims are treated with the respect accorded to the supreme religion of the world. While CAIR is an unindicted co-conspirator in the Holy Land Foundation trials, be assured that Eric Holder will go no further with any procedures, and CAIR will continue to flourish, helping Islam continue to flourish, throughout our land, which rightfully is ours in the first place.
8. Christians: People who believe Muhammad, the Fantastic Prophet of Islam (PBUH), was a man with a mental illness and Jesus was the son of Allah. How little they know, these People of the Book. Why did they corrupt the scriptures and anger Allah? Isn't it obvious that Muhammad, Peace Be Upon Him, was the greatest human being of all time?
9. Da'wa: Spreading the word of Islam and its Prophet, (peace be upon Him), oh, yeah, and Allah too.

10.   Defensive warfare: any warfare committed in the name of Islam, since all the earth belongs to us and all religions must bow to Allah and the Prophet of Islam, the late, great, Muhammad, peace be upon Him.

11.   Dhimmie: a non-Muslim appeaser who thinks of us as dangerous, and good that he does since he is willing to pay us a tax, just to keep his head on his shoulders. If all the dhimmies in the world united against us, along with those already against us, we'd be up the Nile without a paddle.

12.   Extremists: a term used to describe Muslims who get caught.

13.   FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation): an organization in the USA whose sole purpose is to rid the land of the leaders of the one true religion. Never, under any circumstances, aid or assist these corrupt kaffirs if they should come to your door with questions. 

14.   Gabriel, Angel: the head angel of Allah who spoke to Muhammad, peace be upon Him, and recited the Noble Qur'an, the eternal, perfect book of Allah. In spite of the perfection of the Noble Qur'an, there are a number of verses, or Suras, that don't really count anymore--the older ones, which were told by Angel Gabriel to Muhammad, peace be upon Him, while He was in Mecca and had only fifty or so believers. When Muhammad, peace be upon Him, went to Medina with his ten thousand Muslims, he heard stronger, less peaceful, more warlike, and terror-based Suras, which, could not be merely a coincidence with the strength of Muhammad's, peace be upon Him, army, and should be considered proof that the Qur'an is Allah's word, given to Muhammad, peace be upon Him.

15.   Guantanamo Bay (Gitmo): a prison in Cuba where the infidel Americans are holding our heroes hostage and pouring water on their heads to make them give information about Al Qaeda operatives. Because our Mujahideen prisoners are unafraid of death, and love it more than the infidel Americans love life, they will never talk . . . wait, this just in: many of them will not talk but a few might.

16.   Hell: a very hot place where you go if you are not Muslim and your skin is burned off and replaced with new skin by a loving, caring god, Allah, under the advice and tutelage of his fine, holy, super Prophet, Muhammad, peace be upon him.

17.   Honor Killing: running over with your cab, cutting the throat with your kitchen knife, choking with your bare hands, your daughter, for not wearing a cloth on her face, or actually attempting to have a happy life that coincides with hers, not your, criteria for happiness.

18.   Immigration: Just another form of jihad, often called 'procreation jihad' or 'screwing jihad.' You and your family moves to an infidel country and just keep having little Muslims, or Muslimettes. Over time we will overtake these infidels and close the country off to them and simply make it 'bhad.'

19.   Islamophobia: a term bought into by the media and the left. It is a term that capitalizes on 'white shame' originating from a time when the USA had slaves and treated them even worse than we currently treat our own slaves. Of course we sometimes put the Americans to shame with how we treat our slaves, but that's a slave of a different color. Islamophobia is a term that should be used much the same way the left uses the term 'racist.' That is, use it anytime anyone anywhere disagrees with you and attacks your beliefs. "You're just saying that because you're Islamophobic and a racist," is a good catchall.

20.   Jizya: a tax owed to us by the infidel dhimmies for being too frightened to do anything about us. This tax is not very dissimilar to what the IRS does to its infidels, and the concomitant fear it triggers is similar as well.

21.   Ka'aba: a Meccan shrine you just have to see once in your lifetime. Seriously; you have to see it or you're going to freaking hell.

22.   Khomeini, Ayatolla: practically an infidel because of his Shi'ite beliefs, Ayatolla Khomeini died in 1979 after learning that they named a university after him in Italy. It is called "Ayatolla U."

23.   London Bombings: an unfortunate bombing in London in 2005 where not enough infidels were killed for jihad.

24.   Marriage: what happens to a woman starting at age 9 and usually no later than age 12, when a man decides that her fields are ready to be plowed, if you know what I mean. A man can have up to 4 wives (except for Muhammad, peace be upon Him, as he was allowed to have as many as he wanted because he was a privileged character), and women can have as many as one husband. Men, due to their superior nature, are permitted to encourage their wife's compliance to their every wish and may use corporal punishment to get it. Sometimes when corporal punishment does not work, more severe methods may be used (see honor killing).

25.   Muhammad, peace be upon Him: the super, divine, perfect human being to ever grace the earth with his feet to the sand, and to grace his camel's back with his sphincter to the hump. Muhammad, peace be upon Him, was on par with Allah, and when he passed gas, the angels would sing. He could do no wrong, and if you questioned anything he did wrong, well, you're on your way to Hell, where the skin burns and gets replaced, and your eyeballs fall out of your head, and you scream in agony for all eternity, because Allah, all Wise, all Merciful, is pissed when you criticize his leader, er, prophet.

26.   Nuclear Weapons: the next logical step in spreading the word of god.

27.   Obama, Barack: the Will Rogers of Islam. Obama hasn't met a Muslim he doesn't like and his policies prove it.

28.   Palestine: what Israel is going to become once we push all the Jews into the sea.

29.   Qurayzah: a Jewish tribe in which 800 men and pubescent boys lost their heads when Muhammad, peace be upon Him, and his merry band of jihadists, chopped them off and threw them into a ditch. Muhammad's, peace be upon Him, kindness should not be forgotten, however, as he refused to leave the poor widows and mothers of the slain in a state of being uncared for--he and his lusty band of randy Muslims, married some of the women, made slaves of the others, and took the children as slaves too. Who said that Islam isn't sensitive?

30.   Rape: a useless term made up by infidels.

31.   Shirk: worshipping others besides Allah and Muhammad, peace be upon Him.

32.   Taqiyya: hey, a Muslim's gotta do what a Muslim's gotta do. If you have to lie for the sake of Islam, it's fine.

33.   Ummah: the Muslim community, coming to a neighborhood near you.

34.   Verse of the Sword: Surah 9:5 "Then when the sacred months have passed, slay the idolaters wherever you find them, and take them (captive), and besiege them, and prepare for them each ambush. But if they repent and establish worship and pay the poor-due, then leave their way free. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." If ever questioned about this by an infidel who has power over you, tell them it's taken out of context--that usually works. But as you know, this Sura came second from last in Muhammad's, peace be upon Him, life, so it wipes out the pussycat ones previous to it from his time in Mecca. Quote the pussycat Suras like "There is no compulsion in religion," and ones like that. Kaffirs will never know.

35.   Wilders, Geert: a pain in the butt infidel from Holland, with more problems than just wooden shoes. This guy has to go. He has actually read the Qur'an and quotes it (it's bad when they quote it), and is badmouthing Islam all over the world. So far, the infidels aren't catching on, but they might.

36.   Zionism: a right-wing ideology that Jews are not pigs and actually deserve to live. With Saudi money going toward colleges across North America, we are hoping this un-Islamic attitude changes.

 

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