34,000 dead folks found on NC voter rolls

North Carolina just dropped a fun little bombshell: they have unearthed around 34,000 dead people chilling on the state's voter rolls. Because nothing says "secure elections" like a roster that includes folks who have been pushing up daisies for years. This delightful discovery comes as the Tar Heel State is also busy checking to make sure its registered voters are, you know, actual living American citizens.

According to WTDV, the North Carolina State Board of Elections stumbled upon this afterlife voter bloc after running a thorough comparison between the state's rolls and the federal Systematic Alien Verification for Entitlements database, also known as SAVE.

Sam Hayes, the executive director of the State Board of Elections, said in a statement, "While we expected to find some cases, this is higher than we anticipated. The benefit of entering into cross-state and federal database checks is that it allows us to uncover issues like this. Our goal is to use every available and legal tool at our disposal to achieve the most accurate voter rolls possible."

He added, "Now, we must roll up our sleeves and begin the hard work to act of verifying that every person registered to vote in North Carolina is eligible. Our team, along with our state and federal will do what's necessary to meet this responsibility."

Democrat voting blocks

Election officials were quick to assure everyone that finding tens of thousands of deceased voters on the rolls does not necessarily mean anyone was out there committing voter fraud in their names. Of course not. Those ballots probably just filled themselves out. The state board will now team up with county officials to start the thrilling process of removing these phantom voters before the next election cycle turns into a séance. 

Democracy: it's alive and well. Mostly, but not so much for Democrats.

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