Tuesday, March 17, 2026

Ali Larijani [aka Lory Jane] threatened Trump and POTUS answered: BAHDAHBING!



Ali Larijani, one of the most powerful mullahs in Iran's theocratic clown show, got himself taken out by the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) after spending months yapping threats at President Donald Trump and U.S. service members like he was auditioning for a starring role in his own demise. Israel’s Foreign Minister Gideon Sa’ar confirmed the strike, pointing out that Larijani had a $10 million U.S. bounty on his head.

“Ali Larijani had a $10 million prize on his head. We did it for free,” Sa’ar said.

The 67-year-old hardliner had popped up as Tehran's go-to mouthpiece after getting tapped to head the National Security Council in the wake of that 12-day war mess. He was fingered for running the regime's savage January crackdown on protests, which racked up over 30,000 dead by some counts. The U.S. slapped sanctions on him for being one of the first to “call for violence” against the demonstrators.

In the lead-up to his dirt nap, Larijani was all over social media, slinging increasingly unhinged warnings at the United States, including direct threats against President Donald Trump and promises to “hunt down” American troops.

This guy was a regime lifer, holding down gigs like head of Iran's state broadcaster, chief nuclear negotiator, security adviser to the late Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and speaker of parliament until 2020. He was tight with the IRGC, that delightful U.S.-designated terrorist outfit, and even commanded during the Iran-Iraq War.

Sure, some left-wing journalists tried to paint him as the pragmatic type you could sit down and negotiate with, but in January he was out there saying Iran would have “no choice” but to go nuclear if the U.S. or Israel hit them. On March 1, after the U.S. strike, he declared Iran “will not negotiate with the United States.”

Since January, The New York Times was claiming he was basically running Iran because Khamenei handed him the wheel amid the protests and the looming war vibes with the U.S. and Israel. Just last week, Larijani was posting pics and videos from a Quds Day protest in Iran, mingling with the crowds like he was untouchable and the regime was rock-solid.

“Mr. Hegseth! Our leaders have been, and still are, among the people. But your leaders? On Epstein’s island!” he tweeted.

In another post about the protest, he blathered that the combo of brave people, brave officials, and brave leaders “cannot be defeated.”

Larijani never bothered toning down the crazy. In the weeks before the IDF turned him into yesterday's news, he was flooding social media with tough-guy threats aimed at the U.S. military, regional allies, and President Donald Trump. Here are some highlights from the greatest hits collection:

“We will make the Zionist criminals and the shameless Americans regret their actions. The brave soldiers and the great nation of Iran will deliver an unforgettable lesson to the hellish international oppressors.” (2/28/2026)

“To the countries of the region: We are not seeking to attack you. But when the bases located in your country are used against us, and when the United States carries out operations in the region relying on these forces, then we will target those bases. For these bases are not part of the land of those countries; rather, they are American soil.” (3/1/2026)

America and the Zionist regime have scorched the heart of the Iranian nation. We will scorch their hearts… (3/1/2026)

“TRUMP HAS BETRAYED “AMERICA FIRST” TO ADOPT ‘ISRAEL FIRST.’” (3/2/2026)“Iran, unlike the United States, has prepared itself for a long war…We will fiercely defend ourselves and our six thousand years old civilization regardless of the costs and will make the enemies sorry for their miscalculation.” (3/2/2026)

“Trump’s wishful thinking has dragged the whole region into an unnecessarily war and now he is rightly worried about more American casualties. It is indeed very sad that he is sacrificing American treasure and blood to advance Netanyahu’s illegitimate expansionist ambitions.” (3/2/2026)

“The story has not ended yet, and the martyrdom of Imam Khamenei will come at a heavy price for you, God willing.” (2/4/2026)

“Some American officials have said that they intend to enter Iran on the ground with a few thousand troops. The valiant children of Imam Khomeini and Imam Khamenei are waiting for you to expose those corrupt American officials with a few thousand killed and captured. The land of Iran is no place for the hellish dance of demons.” (3/5/2026)

“It has been reported to me that several American soldiers have been taken prisoner. But the Americans claim that they have been killed in action. Despite their futile efforts, the truth is not something they can hide for too long.” (3/7/2026)

“When the enemy attacks us from bases in the region, we respond — and we will continue to respond. This is our right and a standing policy. Regional countries must either prevent the US from using their territory against Iran, or we will have no choice but to do it ourselves.” (3/7/2026)“Some American soldiers have been captured. They are lying that 5-6 American soldiers have been killed. Later, they will inflate the number of deaths under the pretext of an accident too.” (3/7/2026)

“We won’t let #Trump off the hook; he must pay the price—he’s martyred our leader and our people. This isn’t a simple matter; we won’t let it go until we retaliate in kind.” (3/7/2026)

“The Ashura-loving nation of Iran does not fear your hollow threats. Those greater than you could not eliminate the Iranian nation. Watch out for yourself lest you be eliminated!” (3/10/2026)

“Trump has said ‘we can take apart Iran’s electric capacity within one hour, but we have not done it.’ Well, if they do that, the whole region will go dark in less than half an hour and darkness provides ample opportunity to hunt down US servicemen running for safety.” (3/12/2026)

“Trump says he is looking for a speedy victory. While starting a war is easy, it cannot be won with a few tweets. We will not relent until making you sorry for this grave miscalculation. #TrumpMustPay” (3/12/2026)

Talk about going out on a high note of delusional bluster. The IDF just sent the invoice for that $10 million bounty, courtesy of the free market in consequences.

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