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So, Rep. Tim Burchett (R-TN), a guy who’s never met a conspiracy theory he didn’t at least give a side-eye to, is out here dropping bombs about the Epstein files.
Burchett’s got his tinfoil hat on, suggesting the Biden administration might’ve been rummaging through those files like a raccoon in a trash can, planting evidence to frame President Trump. Why? Well, apparently, the Wall Street Journal decided to stir the pot with a report claiming Trump sent Jeffrey Epstein a "bawdy" birthday letter back in 2003, complete with a hand-drawn nudie doodle.
Trump’s response with a full-throated denial and a $10 billion defamation lawsuit slapped against the Journal, Rupert Murdoch, and the reporters who thought they could just scribble "Trump did it" and call it a day.
Now, Burchett’s not exactly whispering this in the group chat. He went on CNN and laid it out like a man who’s seen one too many X-Files reruns. "The reason I‘m worried about these files now is the fact that the Biden Administration, who, in my opinion, has a history of corruption, has tampered with these files, and we‘re never going to get to the bottom of it. I think stuff could have been placed in those files," he said, probably while adjusting his metaphorical detective hat. No proof, just a "gut feeling" and a vague nod to "historical reference," which is politician-speak for "I’ve got nothing, but trust me, it’s shady."
Burchett’s not alone in this circus. He’s one of ten Republicans backing Rep. Thomas Massie’s (R-KY) discharge petition to pry those Epstein files open. You can almost hear the dramatic music swelling as he doubles down: "Do I have proof? No, I don't, but I have a gut feeling and a historical reference, which is every [inaudible] time something like this happens in this town, it gets covered up and it needs to stop." Then, in a move that’s pure political theater, he throws in, "I salute President Trump for pushing to move forward on those records that they have."
Look, this whole thing smells like a reality show pitch gone wrong. You’ve got Trump suing the pants off the Wall Street Journal, and I hope he wins, Burchett playing Scooby-Doo with zero evidence, and the Epstein files sitting there like the world’s most cursed piñata.
Now, Burchett’s not exactly whispering this in the group chat. He went on CNN and laid it out like a man who’s seen one too many X-Files reruns. "The reason I‘m worried about these files now is the fact that the Biden Administration, who, in my opinion, has a history of corruption, has tampered with these files, and we‘re never going to get to the bottom of it. I think stuff could have been placed in those files," he said, probably while adjusting his metaphorical detective hat. No proof, just a "gut feeling" and a vague nod to "historical reference," which is politician-speak for "I’ve got nothing, but trust me, it’s shady."
Burchett’s not alone in this circus. He’s one of ten Republicans backing Rep. Thomas Massie’s (R-KY) discharge petition to pry those Epstein files open. You can almost hear the dramatic music swelling as he doubles down: "Do I have proof? No, I don't, but I have a gut feeling and a historical reference, which is every [inaudible] time something like this happens in this town, it gets covered up and it needs to stop." Then, in a move that’s pure political theater, he throws in, "I salute President Trump for pushing to move forward on those records that they have."
Look, this whole thing smells like a reality show pitch gone wrong. You’ve got Trump suing the pants off the Wall Street Journal, and I hope he wins, Burchett playing Scooby-Doo with zero evidence, and the Epstein files sitting there like the world’s most cursed piñata.
Will we ever get the truth? Probably not. D.C.’s got a black belt in cover-ups, and this story’s got more plot holes than a Michael Bay flick. But hey, it's entirely possible that Burchett's gut is accurate. We just don't know.
Stay tuned, though, because something tells me this rabbit hole’s about to get weirder.
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