Buttigieg wants us to spend $20M on women crash dummies but can't define woman

The Honeypot Pete Buttigieg

The "What, me worry" gay Department of Transportation Secretary Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg wants Congress to spend $20,000,000 in taxpayer money to develop female crash test dummies. Yet when asked "what is a woman?' answered, "I am not an expert in that field by any means, as I am not a biologist nor attracted to women, both cis and trans."

"But why women dummies?" Brain Flushing reporter Jim Schortz asked.

"Because women, whatever they are, deserve to get mangled in auto accidents just like men. Why should they be allowed to get away with not being crash dummies when men are the better drivers?"

"If men are the better drivers, why do women get lower insurance premiums? Statistically, don't they have fewer accidents than men?" Schortz asked.

Buttigieg clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. "They only have fewer accidents because they drive so slowly, which pisses off men. I know; I'm married to one and he told me just how he feels when a woman in front slows him down. I don't drive cars, by the way, I take my bicycle to work to help keep the environment pollution-free."

"Okay, I get your point. But how would you know if the crash test dummy is actually a woman dummy and not a transman?" the intrepid reporter asked.

"Next question." Buttigieg insisted.

Schortz asked, "You say you bike to work, but there are images of you being driven by men with guns in a black SUV taking you to a point close to where you work and letting you out with your bicycle to go the rest of the way. Isn't that hypocritical?"

"If I didn't bike the rest of the way, think of the implications. I have to set an example to the public but I don't have the time in my busy work schedule to bicycle all the way from where I live." 

"Final question: with inflation skyrocketing, isn't twenty million dollars a lot of money to spend on these women dummies?" Schortz asked.

"That's not a problem. All we have to do as a nation is print more money and inflation will take care of itself."

Tweet