Military on high alert after discovering President Biden was awake before 9 a.m.

"Umm"

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The US Air Force and US Navy was put on high alert after President Joe Biden made a speech in the Rose Garden at 8:30 a.m. today. The speech discussed the nation's security and military readiness after a drone was downed by a Russian military jet on Tuesday morning over the Black Sea.

Due to the early hour that the Biden speech was mumbled, it came as a warning that a clear and present danger must exist between the two countries. Joe never gets up this early unless Hunter is in trouble.

NORAD was put on high alert and the US has scrambled a number of B-1B Lancer bombers, and dozens of B-52 Stratofortresses using all female pilots.

"President Biden is, um, you know, he's known to rise early," Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told a gaggle of reporters after Biden's speech was poorly read. "When he's up before 10:30 you know it's important," she said.

"What about the drone?" Chris Cuomo, who is now a beat reporter for a newspaper shouted. "What's he gonna do about the freaking drone that Russia destroyed?"

KJP looked at her notes and replied, "The President is working on that as we speak, Chris. I'm sure he'll handle it well. The American people have nothing to worry about."

"Are we going to war?" asked MSNBC reporter Jim Schortz. "Is the President ready to do something about the Russians--he never wakes up this early. Is it that serious? If it isn't that serious, just how serious is it?"

"Jim. calm down," Jean-Pierre said. "We are not going to war. Just because our President woke up early is no cause for concern. He is, um, meeting with his military advisers in the White House as we speak, and er, he is being assessed of the situation."

"What does Gen. Milley think about the situation?" asked an African reporter who was ignored by Jean- Pierre. 

Peter Doocy from Fox News chimed in, "Why is the President and his military leaders so concerned about equity in the military rather than military readiness?"

"Sanjay, you had a question?" Jean-Pierre said, pointing to Dr. Sanjay Gupta, who was in the immediate area of the White House and was sent to cover the breaking news by CNN.

"Yes. Is President Biden still as physically fit as he was when I last saw him bounding up the stairs of Air Force One?"

"That's all, folks. I'll get back to you this afternoon. Have a good morning," Karine Jean-Pierre said as she closed her folder and walked into the "People's House."

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