Kim Jong Un has agent face firing squad for Googling 'Kim Jong Un'

If you google Kim Jong Un you would learn that he wasn't a very good student at the Liebefeld Steinhölzli state school in Köniz near Bern, Switzerland. His grades actually kind of sucked and he is very protective over all the information one might find on Google.

Kim is so protective, in fact, that a North Korean agent who actually did google his name is now facing a firing squad. At least he isn't being sent off on a pogostick in a minefield, I guess.

The fact is, nobody in the hermit kingdom is allowed to use the internet without authorization from the big guy--no, not Biden--Kim.

But this poor guy isn't the only one caught surfing the web as several others from the regime's hush-hush Bureau 10 have been caught with their pants down surfing the web--figuratively, of course.

The regime does all it can to keep its citizens from learning about the outside world and this even includes its agents.

A secret source said the agents were ratted out by a colleague in a Dwight Schrute [of The Office] type of move. The rat was from the Ministry of State Security who didn't get the job belting out "Sound of Music" parodies on YouTube.

And while searching the web in North Korea is really wrong for those who bought green bananas and expect to eat them once they're ripe, falling asleep in a meeting headed by the supreme leader for life and a Dennis Rodman buddy, can make you the moving target for anti-aircraft gun practice.

The secret source said: 'Bureau 10 departments are given access to the internet, which had allowed agents to turn off their search word recording devices and search the web as much as they like without issue.

"But after a new bureau chief took over, even these previously routine issues have turned into major incidents." 

Even public whistling or carrying a happy tune can get you ten hard ones in the NoKo slammer.

Greg Scarlatoiu, director of the Committee for Human Rights in North Korea, said the regime's information firewall was falling apart. "Even the most trusted agents of the Kim regime are now attempting to access information from the outside world," he said.

And then the secret source told of even worse atrocities that cannot be mentioned here, but use your imagination as to what one can do with a decent pair of pliers, dry ice, and jalipiños while listening to 'The Greatest Hits of Tiny Tim.'

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