You deserve a meat today: McDonald's scrapping fake meat

McDonald's is scrapping its McPlant burger from its menu because when people want a burger, they want something that gave their life for them, not something that tastes like it came from the soil. The plant-based manufacturer Beyond Meat left customers with a bad taste in their mouths because like saccharin, it ain't the real thing.

Mickey D's had 600 locations serve the "burgers" across the country on a trial basis in February after trying the fake burger at eight restaurants in November of last year. But since it sucked as far as McDonald's connoisseurs were concerned, the company, like a jilted lover, moved on and dumped the healthy burger.

The meatless product is being broadly discontinued in the U.S., according to JPMorgan Chase & Co. analyst Ken Goldman, who spoke with employees [who have not been attacked for serving cold fries] at 25 McDonald’s locations, financial news site The Fly reported.

“Not surprisingly, the reason sometimes being cited is that the product did not sell well enough,” Goldman told investors in a research note titled “McPlant Seems McDone in the U.S. for Now.” They might as well have called it McFeces for all that customers cared.

The company is thinking about creating a new catchphrase: "You can't beat our meat," but that's being field-tested to see how it catches on.

McDonald’s and Beyond Meat, a Los Angeles-based producer of plant-based meat substitutes founded in 2009, announced a three-year partnership in early 2021. The latter company has been rumored to be considering a move into the cricket market but that too is being covertly field-tested at undisclosed locations and is listed on the menu as: "Jumpin' Jimminy on a Sesame Seed Bun."

"Mmm . . . delicious"

“The McPlant includes a plant-based patty co-developed with Beyond Meat exclusive to McDonald’s and made from plant-based ingredients like peas, rice and potatoes,” McDonald’s said in a press release at the time.

“The patty is served on a sesame seed bun with tomato, lettuce, pickles, onions, mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and a slice of American cheese. It has the iconic taste of a McDonald’s burger because it is one.” Anything to kill the taste of the veggie combo.

The apparent failure of the McPlant to excite the tastebuds of American consumers seemingly confirms rumblings from earlier this year that the test run was not going well.

“Franchisee sentiment on the sales performance was underwhelming,” Peter Saleh, [unscramble his name and you get Shale, which is how the plant based burger tastes] an analyst at financial services firm BTIG, told QSR Magazine in March. “Their assessment was that they don’t see enough evidence to support a national rollout in the near future.”

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At the time, McDonald’s was only selling 20 McPlants per day, well short of the goal of selling 40 to 60 of the crappy sandwiches.

In the aftermath of McDonald’s ending its testing of the McPlant, shares of Beyond Meat shriveled to 6 percent, according to a CNBC report.

It’s but the latest morsel of bad news for the not really meat company.

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