CNN's Chris Cuomo tests + for COVID-19, hallucinates that he's a journalist

Don Lemon trying to speak about Fredo

The following is satire and is not intended to minimize the horror of the pandemic:

The Contrived News Network's Chris Fredo Cuomo has tested positive for the Chinese Communist Coronavirus and has been broadcasting his version of the "news" from his luxurious home. Some of the recent broadcasts of the "news" are conversations he has with his brother, the Governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo, but on Wednesday, Chris spoke about what it's like, at least for him, to have the coronavirus.

Chris "reported" that he had a fever and experienced hallucinations. In one hallucination he is walking down the street with a microphone in his hand asking people questions about President Trump and other political things.

In the hallucination, he is walking the streets of Manhattan, but people do not seem to want to speak to him as they do all they can to keep a social distance.

But soon Fredo is able to stop one passer-bye, an older gentleman, and asks him: "Do you believe Donald Trump should be impeached for screwing up how he and his administration is handling the coronavirus?"

The gentleman stops, looks him in the eyes, and basically tells him to go someplace and have sex with himself.

In another hallucination, he is being interviewed by his brother, Andrew, but instead of his brother being New York's governor, it is he, Fredo, who is governor and is answering softball questions posed to him in nasal sing-song tones by Andrew. It is his favorite break with reality and hopes he can have another one like that.

Thankfully, Chris has gotten through the worst part of the sickness and is doing better. He experienced a fever, body aches and tremors but is hopefully going to make a full recovery.

The ten people at the airports where CNN is played wish him a speedy recovery and a quick return to CNN, where people say stuff about their feelings and worry that their network hasn't had a show that has reached the top 20. 

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