Booker wants special debate treatment

Dubuque, Iowa -- Cory Booker once heard someone call him a master debater, and now he's bitter that, as a black man, he is being left out of the next Democratic debate just because people don't send him campaign donations or think that he, with his big, angry eyes can win against President Trump. 

The truth is, he may have misheard that person. 

Booker and his angry Mr. Potato Head Eyes is trying to fight his way into the next Democratic presidential debate and just ended an 800-mile, 12-county schlepp of Iowa. On Sunday, he attacked his own party for allowing "elites" and "money," which is evil, to decide who actually has a following and therefore should be on the debate stage.

Booker tried to hint [after pretending he was upset that Kamala Harris dropped out of the race] that there were no people of color [hint, hint] and that makes him very sad. Like his usual histrionic whining, the media wasn't buying it.

“Iowa never lets elites decide,” he lamented to a crowd at his campaign office in Cedar Rapids on Sunday. “Let’s let Iowa have another comeback story.”

Just six candidates are qualified for the Dec. 19 debate, and Booker, who remains black,  is not one of them. He’s met the threshold of donors required to qualify but he has yet to hit the polling qualifications — either 4% support in at least four polls or 6% support in two early-state polls. The deadline is Thursday, and he’s yet to hit the mark on a single poll.

The reason may be due to his lack of fresh ideas that wouldn't bankrupt the nation, but it's more probable that people see through his facade and would rather see someone else going up against the "bad orange man."

“I’m a little upset with the (Democratic National Committee) right now because they seem to be trying to make the decisions for you,” he told a mostly drunk afternoon crowd gathered in a Dubuque bar, hoping they would protest on his behalf and maybe even kick some butt.

Booker also noted the New Hampshire Democratic Party voted this weekend to send the DNC a statement urging the party to revisit the qualifying standards for the debate to ensure greater diversity and give voters “the greatest opportunity” to hear from the candidates and see the level of their melanin and the level of their "poverty" and basic intersectionality.

Xochitl Hinojosa, a spokeswoman for the DNC, called the party’s debate rules “inclusive” and said no candidate who has gone on to be the party’s nominee has polled lower than 4% at this point in past primaries. She refused to add that Booker and the other losers can go whistle for all she cares, and with a name like Xochitl Hinojosa, she can say anything she darn well pleases.

As Booker seeks momentum and a reason to exist, he’s sharing a message focused far more on thoughtless emotion than on intelligent policy and purity tests. He said his policy chops compare to any of his rivals, but it will take a leader who can help Americans see and care for each other to make progress on thorny issues like gun control and climate change. 

And like Kumbaya. 

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