Alyssa Milano: "Use the force, Luke; use the force"

The following is satire based upon some laughable reality.

Trump-hater/agitator Alyssa Milano has a plan to get rid of the President of the United States: just lie on your back, look at the lines in the ceiling, breathe in and out, and recite the mantra: "Believe in believing. The impossible is possible" then "we'd like to create a changing of the guard." Do that for seven minutes a day, but remember, it's private, so don't tell your psychiatrist.

The mentally challenged Milano tweeted:

 I need your help manifesting a change-of-guard in Washington. For 7 minutes a day, I’ll be chanting the following mantra: ‘Believe in believing. The impossible is possible.’ As I do this I’ll be thinking of the special world we want to create. JOIN ME. We’re stronger together.

 Guru Milano then added:

“This is what I’m going to do starting tomorrow morning. JOIN ME. Upon waking, lay in shavasana (look it up), set your alarm for 7 minutes. Say this mantra: Believe in believing. The impossible is possible. And then out loud say, ‘we’d like to create a changing of the guard.'”

The Chopra Yoga Center for the Insane sort of explained the term shavasana thusly:

During this pose, you close your eyes, picture President Trump being impaled by the beak of a bald eagle through the heart, as you breathe naturally to the count of four, and practice eliminating tension and anything else you need to eliminate from your body.

Ideally, this posture lasts for 10 to 20 minutes … but with Trump as President, there isn't any time to wait as this is a national emergency, much like the stalled impeachment hearing in the House. So take only 7 minutes and think hard about that freaking screaming eagle impaling Trump through his f***ing chest.

Savasana helps relieve: mild depression caused by both of Hillary Clinton's tragic presidential losses; high levels of Democratic senatorial flatulence; headaches caused by having to think; fatigue from having to create false narratives; and insomnia caused by having thoughts of another four years with Trump as President.

Savasana can even calm the nervous system and promote equanimity [look it up, Milano] in your entire body.

With the election arriving so soon, cultivating the art of Savasana for destroying Trump is more valuable than ever.

Our society tends to place greater value on computer speed and productivity; learning how to do nothing like House Democrats is a skill that can help you become more indolent when you want to be.

At a recent rally the night before the impeachment vote, Milano screamed:

Fellow snowflakes, listen to me carefully! I am angry! If he’s thought Greta [Thunberg] was angry, he’s seen nothing yet … I am ANGRY! And do you know why I’m so angry? I’m angry because I’m so tired. I’m tired of this. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not tired of fighting Donald Trump and his many, many impeachable offenses; I’m not tired of speaking truth to power; I will never tire of that. But I am so tired of being lied to by a president. And I’m tired that the entire Republican Party thinks that we are all stupid.

Well, no--just you. The so-called impeachable offenses you speak of have not as yet been enumerated by Nancy "Dentures of Fury" Pelosi. The two bs articles of impeachment are pure bull pucks, but give her enough time, say in another year and she'll think of something with which to impeach Trump.

Alyssa Milano is an angry person clearly suffering from TDS. [Look it up.]


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