Chelsea Handler proud of her feelings for Mueller, proud of her abortion at 16

"Please, please go away, Miss"

In an interview with the rag, The New York Times, in 2011, Chelsea Handler, 44, revealed that she had an abortion when she was 16, saying she had the procedure "because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-yea old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about."

So like former President Obama's thoughts on abortions where his daughters were concerned, Handler didn't want to be "punished" with a child.

Evidently, Handler uses abortions for birth control. In a 2016 interview with Playboy magazine, Handler revealed that she had a second abortion when she was 16 in addition to the one she talked about with The New York Times.

Now she may be willing to kill another unwanted child, this time sired by Robert Mueller if she can convince him to have sex with her. 

She didn't say that, but she made it clear that she's not at all "embarrassed" by her sexual attraction to Mueller.

“I’m not embarrassed by my feelings for Robert Mueller,” Handler wrote in her new book, "Life Will Be the Death of Me" (via Page Six). “I am legitimately attracted to him and everything he stands for ... I suspect there will be a lot of people naming their baby boys Bob after this whole s–tshow is over.”

“Through the months of thick fog and despair after the election, he was the one bright spot,” her explicit book continued. “I had finally found the first Republican I could see myself being penetrated by.”

Until the end of the probe, one suspects.

Handler's book was wrapped up before Mueller released the results of his investigation, which didn't find any evidence of collusion with Russia.

The comedian also detailed the difficulties of her love life outside of the political arena, admitting it's likely her own fault that she's single, but not because she's a human bag of garbage.

“I’ll hook up with younger guys who are absolute and utter messes. These relationships are based solely on their looks and their bodies," she admits in the book. "It’s completely reckless behavior," [as well as immoral and foolish.]

Handler said her habit of hooking up with younger men has cost of upwards of tens of thousands of dollars, explaining, “I usually upend their lives in some irreparable way ... Like a couple guys got fired who worked at resorts where I was a guest. I just want to do anything that will make them feel better, so I usually just give them money" [after she services them.]

She's just soooo woke.

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