CNN to swim the sewers to find dirt on Bill Clinton

Photo: Getty Images

CNN is traveling to Thailand's sleaziest red light district to pick up dirt on former president Bill Clinton. 

One prostitute in particular, Lucy Looloo, says she has dirt on Bill, and speaking of particulars, she can describe his particulars in remarkable detail even after all these weeks since his last visit.

Recently, CNN dispatched "reporters" (aka dumpster divers) to get dirt [no pun intended] on President Trump and possible campaign ties with the Russians. One so-called reporter in St. Petersburg literally dug around in a dumpster filled with food scraps, rats, mice, roaches, some kind of feces and a dead body, looking for leads.

Sadly, he only came up with a used condom.

But instead of continuing the pursuit of our president, CNN decided to open old closets looking for some skeletons in Bill Clinton's closet.

So a "reporter" was sent to beautiful downtown Bangkok to speak with a prostitute who says she has information on Bill and Hillary. 

It seems the two of them shared a "moment" with her as well as some fruit products, one being a watermelon with a hole drilled in one spot, left out in the hot sun, another being an Armenian cucumber.

Although this story isn't about Trump, CNN still found the information credible and plan to substitute Bill and Hillary's names with Donald and Melania.

Just like toilet paper, it's how they roll.


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