In the guy's suicide notes, released just a few hours prior to Thursday's rampage, the mentally ill Stair spoke at length of is depression and that he believed he was a woman in a man's body who hated men and toxic masculinity.
But was it toxic transgenderinity that drove the dude to kill? We must ask ourselves, what's more toxic, being born a male and liking football and hockey, or being born a male who wants to be a female, and shooting people because they're toxic males in your brain?
Stair made a video he titled "Goodbye." In the video he says his YouTube cartoon series, Ember's Ghost Squad, gave him a purpose. The main character in the series, "Ember McLain," from the Nickelodean series Danny Phantom, brought out the girl in him.
Knowing nothing about chromosomes and biology, Stair said, "I've always been a girl that I wish I could've told you from day one. I didn't realize that until I discovered Ember. She was what brought that out in me. I didn't just wake up one day and be like 'oh I'm a girl, great.' Ember's what brought that out in me. I wanted to look like her, I wanted to dress like her, I wanted to be her. That was in like 10th grade [like, like]. She was my first crush and she ultimately was my final demise."
Stair went on with his stream of consciousness, saying he doesn't believe in God, but he believes in a goddess who is Ember. But if it isn't Ember, he said, it's a goddess that's a beautiful feminine spirit that creates life--again the absence of biological understanding over the notion that it takes two genders to create life.
Girls, he said were the only people he could talk to about personal things and the only people who understood him.
Soon he reveals that he's a racist: "I've always hated black people. I f**king hate people who aren't white--Caucasian, whatever. I hate the human race."
His words started to show mental deterioration as he blathered on. "And I just started hating guys more than anything. I hate guys, I think they're f**king disgusting--the facial hair they have, the body hair, the muscle build, and all that f**king body structure s**t. I hate. Everything about guys I hate. And the fact that I was forced to live as one, you know, that hurt a lot. And also, I hated my name, too. My life was a living hell."
He spoke about how he used the name "Andrew" on his work name tag. Andrew Blaze was his online moniker.
He goes into a dialogue in which he sounds like he was wrestling with his sexual identity--for certain, he was confused.
". . . I was never attracted to guys, which led me to realizing that I wasn't gay. Which, I still had thoughts about that to this day, because I never had girlfriends or anything like that but I guess when it came down to it I felt like I was transgender or something, like a woman the whole time."
"Spiritually, I'm a woman. I'm a female soul. But I had to live in a man's body to do what I set out to do. I was my soul contract. It was what I was meant to do. And I just was so happy to know that I wasn't gay. You're only gay if you're attracted to guys, which I wasn't so that made me very happy because I f**king hate gay people except--an exception would be Freddy Mercury from Queen, the only exception."
It was his cartoons that gave him an escape where he could be himself--hating life and finally discovering that "invisible hand pushing me forward" to drive him to kill.
Stair needed serious mental health intervention,