But what if President Trump was our president when Pearl Harbor was bombed by the Japanese, getting us into World War Two? What would he have said to the American people to explain the situation to us?
I suspect he would say the very same thing the then-President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said at his Pearl Harbor Address, only in 'Trump-style.'
President Roosevelt's words were:
"Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, Members of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives:
Yesterday, December 7th, 1941--a date which will live in infamy--the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.
The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific.
Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American island of Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. And while this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.
It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.
The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very man American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.
Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam. Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Wake Island. And this morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island.
Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.
As Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.
I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.
Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.
With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph--so help us God.
I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire."I believe President Trump's speech would have gone more to the point with even more blunt talk about what he plans to do.
Here is what President Trump would have said in his Pearl Harbor Speech:
"Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, and to all you in the House and Senate, as well as you fake news organizations who are probably going to write bad things about me and say it's all my fault:
Yesterday, December 7th, 1941, was a very, very bad day for me, and I guess for all Americans. I can tell you, nobody's going to forget yesterday. Nobody.
As they say, the bad stuff hit the fan--the Japanese bombed the crap out of Pearl Harbor and a lot of good people were brutally killed. It was the worst catastrophe in American history. The worst, I must say.
They blew up our ships and planes on purpose. A total surprise attack by the evil Japanese empire.
I mean, just one hour after the Japanese air squadrons began bombing Oahu, which, by the way, is an American island, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his sidekick told our Secretary of State that it was a waste of time to keep talking about diplomatic deals. They never once mentioned that they were bombing the crap out of Oahu.
I have no doubt the Japanese were planning this for days, or maybe even weeks, or days. And it really angers me that they did it on purpose and just wanted to trick us, which, unfortunately, they did.
The cowardly attack really screwed us up, big league, and caused a lot of damage to our boats and planes. I'm sorry to say that very, very many Americans were killed, and to make a bad thing even worse, they torpedoed some of our boats at sea between San Francisco and Honolulu.
They even hit Malaya last night, along with Hong Kong, Guam, the Philippine Islands, Wake Island, and this morning they had the nerve to attack Midway Island.
In other words, Japan did a sneaky, cowardly attack all over the Pacific, folks. Just look at what they did, right? Are we going to stand for it? Are we?
You bet we won't. The facts speak for themselves and we totally understand the score.
As Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy, I ordered that everything be done to protect ourselves. We aren't going to forget the character and the fight waged against us. If it takes until the end of my first term, we will overcome this sneak attack, and the American people in their righteous might will kick ass and take dog tags in the process, as we march to victory. You can count on it folks.
I think I know what Congress and the folks want and I'm telling you that we will not only defend ourselves all the way, but we will beat them so badly that they'll never try this stuff again.
Sure, there's anger, but there's no denying the fact that our folks, our places, and our interests are in grave danger.
With total confidence in our great military--they're great, right folks--with never before seen determination of our people, we will beat the bejesus out of them, so help us God.
And now I'm very nicely asking Congress to declare war as a result of this incredible attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941. And they should date that declaration yesterday, because that's when it started."Seriously.
Please follow Brain Flushings by clicking the Follow tab.