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Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Flaming idiot sets himself on fire to protest Trump

Joe Schmuckles
An anti-Trump protester set himself on fire in front of Trump International Hotel in Washington D.C. on Tuesday. The 45-year-old idiot has not yet been identified but he said the self-immolation (which he failed to carry out to its end) was to protest President-elect Trump's inauguration set for Friday. 

In this case, Tuesday was his Fry Day.

Witnesses to the stupidity described how he yelled 'Trump' several times as 'flames ran up his back' and into the crack of his nether regions where he was lying down in the street.

His failure to finish the job caused him to suffer non-life-threatening burns and boo-boos and he was taken to the hospital shortly after he put himself out.

Due to the fact that it was a peaceful, albeit hot, protest, which he has every right to do, the Washington DC Police source said that he was not arrested--he was extinguished.

"(I'm protesting) the fact that we've elected somebody who is completely incapable of respecting the Constitution of the United States," he said, obviously oblivious to the notion of the peaceful transition of power.

The man said he was from California--how predictable was that? He suffered only third-degree burns on merely 10 percent of his body, the Washington Post reported. 

He used a lighter and accelerant, possibly lighter fluid, to light up the night with his stupidity.

Authorities said they were called to the hotel after a report that some idiot was on fire and "in distress."

One by-passer at the scene said he wasn't sure what was going on because all he heard was the guy on fire screaming "Ow, ooh, ooh, wow, it's hot, it's hot!" The flaming moron also yelled out Trump's name several times and people didn't know if he was for or against the President-elect.

After the police arrived at the hotel, the smoldering man walked over to the police/security people, in spite of the burns on his back and crack.

Anti-Trump protesters are arriving in Washington DC in droves to protest the inauguration. Several Trump supporters are being so kind as to provide them with Zippo lighters and fluid.