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Saturday, October 8, 2016

Trump makes history--he apologizes--sorta

It happens every four years--a presidential election is coming to a climax and out of nowhere, the dirt comes out, just as people think they've made up their minds on which candidate sucks the least.

Sure, everyone in their right mind knows Hillary would go into spasms if she ever told the truth about anything. She wakes up in the morning and tells herself she wants to start her day with a cup of tea, when all along she secretly knows she wants to start her day on the bowl.

Donald, on the other hand, doesn't generally lie, at least it seems that he is reasonably truthful, and that is exactly why he's so outrageous. He starts his day and right at the get-go he knows he needs to pee. He doesn't lie to himself--he just does what he needs to do and says what he wants to say. He has no filter between his brain and his tongue. 

A leaked video (imagine that) from 2005 shows Donald using the "F-bomb" and other lewd language as he discusses women with Billy Bush, causing Jeb Bush to admonish Trump from a distance as he discussed his granddaughters and how disrespectful Donald is to women.

"As the grandfather of two precious girls, I find that no apology can excuse away Donald Trump's reprehensible comments degrading women," Jeb said.

Hillary, of course, also chimed in: "This is horrific. We cannot allow this man to become president," but the former Worst Lady didn't offer a reasonable alternative.

Even Republicans were taken aback by Trump's comments. Reince Priebus, the chairman of the RNC said, "No woman should ever be described in these terms or talked about in this manner. Ever."

Trump bragged about groping and kissing women to "Access Hollywood" host Billy Bush, also using a vulgar anatomical term and talked about attempting to have sex with an unidentified married woman.

"I moved on her and I failed," Trump admitted. "I'll admit it . . . she was married . . . and I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping," he said, knowing how a nice chaise lounge might get a woman's blood flowing. "She wanted to get some furniture. I said, 'I'll show you where they have some nice furniture.'" He may have been referring to a Lay-Z-Boy Furniture, as they have nice furniture, but probably not.

"I've gotta use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her," Trump says in the video once he spots the actress Arianne Zucker on the soap opera set where Trump was to appear. "You know, I'm automatically attracted to beautiful--I start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait."

"And when you're a star, they let you do it," he bragged. "You can do anything."

After the video was made public, Donald did what Donald doesn't do--he apologized . . . sort of. He said, "This was locker room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago," indicating that because it was private, this was how he really thought of women. He didn't need to censor his words because he didn't know they would one day go public.

But then he went after someone who is not running for president--Bill Clinton. 

"Bill Clinton has said far worse to me on the golf course--not even close. I apologize if anyone was offended."

Lucky for Donald that nobody was offended . . . except for his running mate, Mike Pence who said he was "beside himself." I never understood how you could be 'beside yourself' unless your a fan of particle theory where a particle can be at two places at the same time.

Senator Tim Kaine and Democrat Vice Presidential candidate tweeted "This kind of behavior is disgusting. It makes me sick to my stomach," whereupon he suffered a bout of projectile vomiting that shot across the room and hit Bryan Pagliano in the face just as he was about to test Mr. Kaine's new server.

The question now is whether this was the kill shot that will elect the first felon for president of the United States.

House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) said in a statement that he was "sickened by what I heard today. Women are to be championed and revered, not objectified." He also disinvited Trump from a Wisconsin event he was supposed to attend and later said that his running mate, Mike Pence, would attend the event in Trump's place while Trump would remain in New York to prepare for Sunday's debate, which he has to win "yoooooge."

Billy Bush, in his own statement said he was "embarrassed and ashamed," but you'd never know it listening to the video. "It's no excuse, but this happened 11 years ago," Bush said. "I was younger, less mature and acted foolishly in playing along. I'm very sorry."

Then he added: "It's all Trump's fault. It's all Trump's fault." 

In defense of his vulgarity, Trump dismissed questions he was asked. He told a Nevada TV station that "a lot of that was done for the purpose of entertainment," adding, "And I can tell you this, there's nobody--nobody--that has more respect for women than I do."

Especially their legs and breasts.

Listen, I am still going to vote for Trump because I actually trust him more than that empty pantsuit liar. I don't think Trump is the best person for POTUS but he's certainly hands-down better than Clinton.

I just wish he would stop saying sexist and stupid stuff, and maybe once in a while, use a polysyllabic or two.