Friday, May 13, 2016

ISIS captive wants to be killed so he can make it to afternoon prayers

It's a religion, seriously, because a religion is a the belief and worship of a supernatural controlling power, especially a personal God or gods. It's a specific system of faith and worship. 

ISIS qualifies--get over it.

An ISIS jihadist captured last week in Iraq is begging his Kurdish captors to kindly kill him ASAP so he can make it for the 4 pm religious prayers in heaven.  This guy thinks religion is like a cartoon, except not one about Muhammad.

The jihadist was captured by Kurdish Peshmerga forces after he and 49 other lunatics were assigned to blow themselves up in the Christian town of Tel Askuf, coinciding with the Islamic holy day.

In order to make it to prayers, the jihadists had to destroy themselves before 4 pm, otherwise they'd have to wait an entire year in heaven for the next fun prayer service. "They were supposed to commit suicide using their suicide belts because today is the anniversary of the Isra and Mi'raj celebration," Peshmerga Lt. Col. Salim ak-Surji told the Turkish News Agency Rudaw.

The officer said that "He told me 'all of us must be in heaven by 4 pm, kill me.'"

Just for spite, the Kurds told the bombers, "No. We will kill you instead on Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement."

Just kidding.

The day does, in fact, mark the prophet of Islam, Muhammad's, ascent into heaven on a horse. See, in Islam, horses can fly. Anything is possible with taqiyya. 

Surji told Rudaw that as he was recording the ISIS dead on video, he saw one fighter move his ankle. "I put my hand on his chest and found that he was breathing. He was also conscious and talking. His explosive belt had not detonated and he was hurt in his ankle due to the explosion of one of his comrades. He was able to walk. He told me 'you are infidels, kill me.'"

Then came the sadistic reply from another Kurd, "Live, you bastard, live! We will never kill you!"


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