Hillary to pardon herself on espionage charges if elected

Hillary Clinton is still traveling unshackled to any tracking devices as she moves about the country hoping to win the presidential nomination and eventually the presidency. 

If she becomes the first female president, she is confident that the law would permit her to pardon herself of all charges centering around her illegal use of a personal email server while Secretary of State.

While it is a fact that the email server was used exclusively for all of her government business, and that it is a crime to send any level of confidential information through that server, whether or not it is marked as such, she believes she is not held to the same standards as regular human beings and believes herself to be above the law. 

After all, she was appointed to the position by none other than the President of the United States of America.

In one of her signature speeches, Ms. Clinton yelled:

"It's about time we had a woman president . . . and I don't mean that Carly bitch. I mean me.  

[Wait for applause and shrill shouts of "wooo."]

"Once I step into that Oval Office--a room I well remember from the days that bimbo, Monica Lewinsky, seduced a tired, vulnerable man--I will change American politics in such a way that you won't recognize it."

The question now remains will Hillary Rodham Clinton, the obvious choice for the misinformed, beat the GOP nominee, most likely Donald Jesus Trump (the "J" is not silent nor pronounced like an "H") and be cleared by herself of all charges of espionage and basic incompetence?

This will be the first presidential election in American history where only one party is actually represented by the philosophies of both likely candidates.

Guess what.


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