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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

BREAKING: Kasich finally calls it quits

BREAKING: Current Ohio Gov. John Kasich was handed another humiliating defeat in yesterday's Indiana presidential primary. 

Kasich, who never knows when to quit, not because he's a fighter, but because he never knows when to quit, collected a feeble 7.3 % of the Indiana vote, mostly from family members and close friends as well as a couple of people who felt sorry for him.

His family is not devastated because they had so much time to prepare for this humiliating defeat, a defeat at the hands of Donald J. Trump, a man who never ran for any public office and who never revealed any of his secret plans to make America great again.

Kasich will return as Governor of Ohio and do those immeasurable things he has done, and continues to do for that great state and for our nation. He will continue to speak as though he was making a speech, and many will continue to nod their heads or take a bathroom break.